Cool Kids
by ConfessedGleek16
Summary: Jane, Maura, Frost, and Korsak navigating being teenagers. Teenage coming of age AU.
1. PART ONE

Summary: This story is just a normal coming of age story.

* * *

"No, Korsak, your right! No, your other right!" Jane yelled into her headset. She noticed a faint barking and automatically knew that the opposing team had called in their score streak. Dogs. It didn't help that she had gotten killed. Again.

"You have got to be fucking kidding me." Jane growled while pushing her black frames up her nose.

"Okay, what in the name of Odin, honestly? What the hell, Frost?!" Jane yelled. Frost had messed up their formation which left both her and Korsak vulnerable, and inevitably led to their demise. She backed out of game and waited for the boys rejoin her party.

"Hey don't blame me!" He retorted, clearly just as upset. "Korsak should've had your back that time, not me. I was scouting the back entrance."

"I flanked right like you said!" Korsak said quickly to defend his honor.

"Whatever," Jane said brushing them off. "You both suck at Black Ops anyway." Jane heard them both gasp through her headset.

"Aw, c'mon, take it back! And besides, we said to put in Ghosts anyway. Black Ops is old and only whiny 11 year olds play it." Frost said while adjusting the classes on some of his weapons.

"Yeah," Korsak started. "Plus, maybe your formations just suck. We kept getting ambushed!" They were double teaming her now. This is how it always happened whenever they got together to play video games. Which was almost every day.

"Oh please, you two morons wouldn't know an AK-47 from a Honey badger if it shot you in the face." And it was partially true, these guys were poor with automatics, they were more of the quick scope type. Typical of boys, get in, get out.

"Whatever," Jane started until she heard a shrill voice cut through her soul.

"JANIE!"

"For the love of Odin, be right back guys." Jane groaned as she got up from her gaming position and headed down the stairs, taking them two at a time.

"What, Ma?"

Her mother looked her up and down, shaking her head. "What are you wearing? You are never going to find a good boy looking like that." She frowned deeply, pinching the bridge of her nose. "All you do is play video games and gush over superheroes. Maybe we can go dress shopping this weekend." Angela rushed out hopefully while Jane huffed out a breath.

"Ma, One thing at a time, please? You're getting sidetracked. Plus, I like this shirt." Jane pouted, hoping to get her back on track. She looked down at her T-shirt. It was red and had a picture of iron man on the front.

"Right right," The older woman said shaking her head as if to get her thoughts in order. "Are you all ready for school tomorrow?" Jane rolled her eyes, it was like pulling teeth with this woman.

"Yeah, Just like I am every year. Anything else?" Angela shook her head so she turned and ran up the stairs as fast as she could back up to her room before her mom could think of something else.

"Hey Jane, I better go, first day of school tomorrow and all." Frost said when Jane put the headset back on, Korsak agreeing with him.

"Alright, pick you guys up tomorrow at 7:30?"

"Sounds good," Korsak chimed in this time, "See you tomorrow, Janie." He giggled, knowing how much Jane hated the nickname.

"Stop calling me that, Korsak!" He completely disregarded her request and logged out of his PSN account, Frost following soon after.

"Asshole." She muttered under breath.

* * *

Jane looked down at her outfit, a blue shirt with the superman logo, black skinny jeans, and red vans. She slipped on her glasses and nodded in approval and headed for the stairs. Jane glanced at the clock that was on the stove.

Great, gonna be late on the first day.

"Bye, Ma!" Jane rushed out as she headed for the door.

"Jane, Don't forget about your brother!"

She rolled her eyes before looking up the staircase. "Aye Frankie! Let's go!" She shouted up the stairs.

"Hold ya horses, Jane! I'm comin'!" She heard his feet landing on the stairs, backpack in hand and they started heading for the front door.

"Don't you guys want breakfast?"

"No time, Ma. We'll just pick up something on the way. Ready, Frankie?"

"Yup." He answered, popping the 'p'.

"Alright, bye for real this time!" Jane faintly heard a "have a nice day" from her mother. She hopped in her car and rode off.

* * *

"You ready for this, little brother?" Jane inquired. Freshman year could be a big transition, Hell, she was still transitioning.

"Yeah," He started a little nervously, "It's just another school day, how tough could it be, right?"

"You say that now, kid." Frost said chuckling while continuing, "Welcome to the next four years of your life!" They all began walking, Frankie, in search of his first hour class while the boys and Jane were entering a heated debate about who was better: Batman or Iron Man.

"C'mon Frost," Jane said, clearly exasperated, "Iron Man obviously wins, he's smarter, quicker, I will admit Batman has better villains but," She stopped abruptly when she felt another body collide with hers, sending them both to the ground.

"Ouch!"

"Dammit!" Jane and the other voice started at the same time, Jane began looking for her frames when she noticed the other girl struggling to get her books together.

"Hey, let me help you with that…"

"I am so sorry, I should have been looking where I was going!" The girl hurried out, she looked so worried.

"It's cool, I was too busy fighting with these two morons, totally my fault." She gave a once over on the girl, she dressed like she was a model in New York Fashion Week. Jane looked back up to her eyes, they were a light Hazel.

_**Hey, Rizzoli, stop being such a creep and speak to her!**_

Jane cursed her inner monologue that she always seemed to get caught up in.

"Are you new?" Jane gave a small smile as she stood up noticing she had never seen the girl around before.

"Yes, I am new here. I was just headed to my AP Bio class but I can't seem to find it…" She trailed off while looking at her schedule again and around at the class numbers.

"I have that first hour too, I can show you if you want." Jane looked back at Frost and Korsak and had been weirdly quiet during this whole thing. Probably because their eyes are glued to her chest, she rolled her eyes. Boys.

"Thank you so much! I would very much like that."

"Yeah? Cool, see you guys later, alright?" She said as she faced the boys, they nodded absently and walked away as if they had been brainwashed. Jane snorted, they probably have been. The new girl raised an eyebrow at her.

"I'm Rizzoli by the way. I mean Jane. My last name is Jane. I mean Rizzoli. Uh, I'm Jane Rizzoli." Jane sputtered, rubbing the back of her neck.

_**Nice going, dumbass, now she's gonna think you're a total weirdo.**_

_I'm not a weirdo!_

_**Then stop acting like it!**_

"Maura Isles." She offered gladly, beaming at Jane.

"Maura," Jane rasped, letting the name roll off of her tongue, "Pretty. So, where are you from?" Jane asked as they headed down the hallway.

"Well, I am originally from Boston, but I moved to France when I was 10." Maura said a little nervously, she was not quite sure on how American teenagers worked, were they all this nice?

"Shit really? That's awesome." They were in class now, both headed for the empty lab station in the middle of the class.

"Hey, Nerdzzoli! Where did you vacation this summer? Krypton?" Crowe laughed and his buddies joined in, Jane blushed and put her head down.

Jane rolled her eyes at the joke. "That's not even funny." Jane muttered under her breath, taking out her textbook and notebook.

"What does he mean by Nerdzzoli? That isn't a word, is it some sort of colloquialism?" Maura asked looking genuinely confused. It was obvious that Maura was not quite use to the American public school system.

Jane shrugged it off. "It's nothing."

Except it wasn't nothing at all. If Jane could live in the world of her favorite characters, she would. Her goal was not to bring them into this boring mundane world, but to travel to their extraordinary one. She could build with Tony Stark, be brave with Rogers, and be badass with Natasha Romanov. Her goal was to become extraordinary in an ordinary world, to live limitlessly in a world of boundaries.

"Alright class! Welcome to AP Bio!" Jane tried to focus solely on the teacher, hoping to get through the rest of class without any issues.

Jane started to take down notes, but that was all ill-fated when she glanced over at her lab partner who was concentrating so hard she could see the gears turning in her head.

_The adorableness has reached an all-time high with this one._

_**Really, Jane, really?**_

_What? There is never a wrong time to throw in Star Wars._

_**Except there is.**_

_Oh give me a break._

When she noticed that she was still staring, she saw Maura looking back at her with her brow quirked up.

"Oh! Sorry, I was just, uh, well," She stammered while trying to keep her voice low. Maura giggled and smiled softly back before turning back to the teacher.

_That smile could end world hunger._

_**Maybe you should pay attention too.**_

_Shut up._

"Alright guys," Wait, had the teacher been talking this whole time? "I know it's only the first day, but I am going to make you aware that you have a major assignment coming up. You can pick any topic that you like, as long as it deals with biology, of course, and you have to research it. Every grueling detail. From start to current day. Details will be available later in the week. This is a partnered assignment, so you might want to begin thinking about who you want to be partnered up with as well." The teacher finished. First off, Jane stopped paying attention about half way through the class, second off, a partner?

_God, I hate partner assignments._

_**Oh, stop your whining.**_

_Okay, honestly?_

"Jane?" Jane looked over to Maura and noticed her staring back at her a little nervously. "Would you want to be my partner? I completely understand if you wouldn't, as I am only the new student. And you probably already have friends that you want to be partnered with and,"

"Yes! I am sure. Yeah, that's cool. Totally fine." Jane rambled, which earned her a giggle from the new girl.

_**You really gotta work on that, dude.**_

_Yeah, I know, finally something we agree on._

_**I'm your subconscious, we always agree.**_

_You know what I mean._

"Really? Fantastic! I already have many topics in mind, perhaps Genomics, or the history of surgeries, or even when people began working on cadavers!" Her eyes lighting up like a Christmas tree. Jane could stare at those eyes forever.

"Jane?" Maura was looking at her with that small smile grin.

_Wait, am I supposed to be talking?_

"No! I mean yes! Uh, yeah. We can discuss topics. Sounds good." Just as Jane finished her sentence the bell rang. She wondered if Maura knew where her next class was.

"I can help you find your next class if you want?" Jane asked, her nerves creeping up on her.

"I would like that." Maura beamed up at her as she handed Jane her schedule.

"AP World History, I have that, but not this hour. I'll show you." Jane handed her back her schedule and began to walk her out of the class, the history hallway wasn't far from the science hallway. When they got to the door Jane turned to her and rubbed the back of her neck.

"We both have the first lunch period after this; do you want to sit with me and the guys?" Jane queried.

"I would love that, thank you for being so kind to me." Maura finished, she had no idea that on her first day someone would show just kindness towards her, it was never like that in her previous schools.

"Not a problem, I'll see you at lunch." Maura smiled in response and turned around and headed into her classroom.

_**That's rough.**_

_What?_

_**You got it bad, dude.**_

Jane groaned.

* * *

Jane headed to the lunch room and began surveying the large room for her friends. It was like a zoo in there, haphazard yet concealed with every group of kids in their respective cages. Jane swore she could almost hear the sounds of the jungle when she entered; she made sure to keep an eye out for any overly large felines. As she was walking past a table with the popular boys, leaded by none other than Crowe, she began to walk a little faster. She noticed Maura was already seated with Frost and Korsak at a table ahead. Maura smiled and waved her over.

"Hey, Rizzoli!" A voice shouted behind her. She turned around just in time for an unpleasant surprise. All of a sudden she felt sticky all over, she couldn't even see through her glasses. One thing Jane could notice though was the laughter that invaded her ears. She immediately turned on her heel and ran straight out of the cafeteria doors as best as she could with her dirty frames. As soon as she got out of there she took her glasses off and began to wipe them on her shirt. She could feel a familiar stinging behind her eyes.

Not here.

She walked out to the student parking lot without bothering to check out from the school's front desk and drove home as fast as she could.

* * *

Close to tears, Jane started pacing angrily around her bedroom. She didn't understand, why did people treat her this way? Was it simply because she was different, or maybe because she was smart? She glanced at the Spiderman poster on her wall searching for answers.

_How did you do it, Peter?_

_**Oh stop talking to that stupid poster, Jane.**_

Puffing out a breath heatedly, Jane went the corner of her room to the keyboard that was set up against the wall. She didn't think, started just playing soft chords and began singing softly the first song that came to mind.

_She sees them walking in a straight line, that's not really her style,_

_And they all got the same heartbeat, but hers is falling behind._

_Nothing in this world could ever bring them down._

_Yeah, they're invincible, and she's just in the background._

Jane felt hot tears rushing down her face, but her voice was getting stronger with each line, as were her hands as they pattered softly against the piano keys.

_And she says,_

_I wish that I could be like the cool kids,_

_'Cuz all the cool kids, they seem to fit in,_

_I wish that I could be like the cool kids, like the cool kids._

She finished the verse softly and let the quiet sobs come out, not hearing the footsteps coming up behind her.

"Jane?"


	2. Chapter 2

Jane looked back at her door and was not expected the person at her door. At all.

"Maura? What are- I mean not that I don't, uh-" Jane swallowed the lump in her throat, wiped her face of tears and took a deep breath. "What are you doing here?" She finally managed to get out.

_Am I dreaming? Did I fall asleep?_

_**You did get dropped on your head at birth.**_

_Now is not the time!_

"I'm sorry, it's just, I saw what happened in the cafeteria. I know I barely even know you but I just wanted to make sure you were okay." She moved towards Jane, sitting on the edge of the bed across from her. She seemed just as nervous. Jane was embarrassed. She always tried her hardest to not let anyone see her cry. Or that she had been crying.

_What is happening?_

"That's, uh, nice. Thank you. But, who let you in? Sorry not to be rude it's just-" She faltered.

_**You gotta stop with that.**_

_I'm shutting you off._

"Your mother, actually. It's after school. Barold and Vince told me where you lived. I'm sorry I should not have assumed that you would want me over. I can go-" She said shifting slightly on the bed.

"No! Stay! It's totally fine. I must've fallen asleep. It's fine. It's cool. I'm cool. Are you cool?" Jane rushed out.

_**Damn, dude.**_

_Didn't I shut you off?!_

_**I'm you. You can't just shut me off. Aren't you supposed to be smart?**_

Jane scowled deeply.

_God, I can be so annoying._

Jane looked over at the sound of Maura laughing, she brought her hand up to her mouth while she giggled uncontrollably. It was obviously contagious as Jane began laughing too.

"What're we-," She said pausing to take a breath, "Laughing at?" She managed to push out.

"I don't remember exactly. You, I suppose." She said still smiling. God, that smile.

"Me?"

"Yes. You. You are thoroughly amusing." She said. A few beats and her eyes were widening in horror. "Not in a bad way! You're funny, I mean. It's your facial expressions."

"I get it. Thanks for doing this by the way. I needed the laugh." Jane was grateful. Sure she had the boys, but they were just that, boys. She tried to be tough around them. She realized that around Maura maybe she didn't have to try to be tough. Maybe she could just be.

"You're welcome. Laughter has been proven to be an exceptional stress relief. Laughter releases endorphins throughout your body. There have also been studies that suggest that it heightens your pain threshold by ten percent." Her smile fell a little. "I'm boring you aren't I?"

"No, not at all." She smiled reassuringly. "It's actually amazing, you know, that you stuff like that." Jane said smiling softly. Maura could hear the sincerity in her voice. Maura smiled brightly back at Jane and focused at the keyboard Jane was seated at.

"You play the piano?" She asked in surprise.

Jane shrugged nonchalantly. "Yeah. I taught myself some years ago." She answered. Maura nodded in wonderment and Jane spoke back up.

"So, about our bio project. You're here now, maybe we can brainstorm ideas? I really liked the topic of cadavers."

As soon as Jane finished the sentence she could see the light building behind her eyes. This is what Jane enjoyed about people. The kind of people who are unapologetically and wildly passionate about something. That moment when you could basically see it as it takes them over. It was beautiful to witness and she wished more people would be like that.

"I'm partial to the cadavers myself, so that would be a wonderful thing to research!" Maura finished excitedly.

"Well, let's do that then." Jane said quickly to appease the girl, who smiled at her gratefully. She watched Maura as she gazed at her room for the first time since she arrived.

"Wow," She breathed. "You really enjoy superheroes and video games, don't you?" She asked, walking over to Jane's comic book collection. She looked over at her with her eyebrow quirked, pointing towards the bookshelf.

"May I?" Jane nodded and watched her as she flicked through the books that were covered in plastic.

"You know," She started gaining Jane's attention. "I am partial to DC myself." Jane gasped, feeling as though she had been shot right through the chest.

"How could you say that? Marvel has a MUCH better shared universe than DC will ever have! Even in TV shows they incorporate them so well into the movies!" Jane exclaimed, easily heated by the Marvel/DC debate.

"Well for one," And Maura launched right into it.

They went back and forth like this for a while. Jane felt good—happy. She hadn't thought about what happened earlier that day since Maura walked through her bedroom door.

"I should probably go home." Maura said looking over at the alarm clock on Jane's nightstand.

"Right. Yeah. Did you drive here? Want me to walk you to your car?" Jane asked standing. Maura nodded and stood up as well. They walked down the stairs and out the front door and Jane's jaw immediately dropped.

"Jesus. This yours?" Jane gawked. It was a black Tesla Model 6 Maura smiled softly back.

"Yes. My parents bought it for me as a sixteenth birthday present. It is incredibly fuel efficient with a 60 kW-hr battery pack." Maura said while still standing by Jane. Jane shook her head smiling and walked over to the driver's side door opening it waiting for her to get in.

"Thank you."

"No problem, see you tomorrow?"

"Bright and early. Goodnight, Jane." Maura smiled once more before pulling out of the driveway and driving home. Jane walked back to the front door just to see her mother waiting for her at the front door.

"So, who's your new friend?"

Jane groaned.

* * *

Jane was in her room playing on her piano when her mother called her and her brother down. She walked out of her room the same time Frankie came out of his and they walked down the stairs into the kitchen where her father was already seated reading a newspaper.

"Hey, Pop." Frankie greeted as he took a seat to the left of his father, Jane sitting next to him. He nodded back without taking his eyes off of the sports page.

"Where's, Tommy?" Jane asked while her mom set the last dish of food on the table. Her mother always went all out no matter what. Typical Italians.

"He's over a friend's house studying." Angela said as she took a seat at the table. Jane rolled her eyes at her youngest brother. It's the first day of school, studying for what?

"So, Jane, you made a new friend today I gather?" Her mother asked while pretending nonchalant as she forked some of her pasta in her mouth.

"Maura? Yeah, I mean she's pretty cool. She's new. She's from France." Jane said as she kept her attention focused on the food on the plate in front of her.

"France? How nice! I've always wanted to go to France." Her mother finished wistfully. That was when her Father put down the paper next to him and decided to join in on family conversation.

"Oh yeah? Since when?" Her father probed.

"Since always." Angela huffed.

"Yeah, well, don't hold your breath. Hey Frankie, you're doing baseball, right?"

"Yeah, I am." He said excitedly. Frankie always loved playing baseball and the entire family, sans Angela, enjoyed it a lot too.

"When are tryouts? We gotta work on that curve ball son, don't wanna have you pitching like a wuss like you usually do." Their father said nonchalantly. Jane had half a mind to give him the other half. She clenched her jaw and picked her fork up and continued eating while Frankie replied to their father.

"Sure. We can work on it. I guess I did need the practice anyway." Frankie softly replied.

"You throw just fine." Jane mumbled under her breath throwing a glance at her brother, who shot a worried look back. He leaned over a little and touched her shoulder with his and shook his head slightly. Jane let out a small sigh and scooted her chair away from the table.

"May I be excused?" Jane asked as she was standing up. Her father grunted in response picking his newspaper back up. Jane bounded up the stairs and closed her door softly behind her after she entered her room. She looked around her room for something to occupy her time. She let out a grunt of frustration.

_God, this sucks._

Jane looked over at her nightstand when she heard her phone vibrate with a new message.

**Frost: Call of Duty?**

Jane quickly texted him a confirmation and grabbed her controller and remote, hitting the power button on both and reached over to her nightstand to grab her headset. She logged onto her account and put in COD: Ghosts joined Frost's party, noticing that Korsak was already in.

"Hey, guys." Jane spoke and adjusted the volume in the side of the headset.

"Jane." Frost and Korsak answered simply and waited for her to elaborate. Probably wanted to know how she was doing and just used Ghosts as an excuse.

"You gave Maura my address?" She asked, trying to put off the conversation she wanted to avoid.

"Uh, yeah. Sorry about that. It's just, she can be extremely persuasive." Frost rushed out. Jane snorted.

"Scared of a girl?" She tossed at him. She heard Korsak start laughing and Frost take in a sharp gasp.

"No! She might be tiny but she just does this thing with her eyebrow and her eyes!" Jane and Korsak laughed harder and her grunted in response.

"Whatever, let's play Extinction." Jane groaned, she hated this gameplay.

"Honestly, why take out Zombies and replace them with aliens? Who does that?" She complained as the game started. Plus, it was just plain boring.

"Zombies are in the past, Jane. Come to the dark side, we have Aliens." Korsak said as he dropped his voice lower.

They played for about another hour before Korsak said that he had to go, leaving only Frost and Jane.

"Talk to me, Jane. What happened?" Frost asked, his voice dripping in concern. Jane exhaled.

_Be strong._

"Nothing, it was just an accident." Lie #1 "I went home early to clean up, that's all."

"Then why did Maura have me tell her where you lived? Also, when did that happen? It's almost like she had been your friend for years with how worried she was."

"I don't know." Lie #2 "She's not used to it here, you know? I like her. We're friends, I guess."

"Yeah, she is pretty cool. Kinda weird."

"This is coming from you, Frost. Look in the mirror." She cringed as soon as the words came out, harsher than she had intended.

"Alright, I get it. I'm sorry. I should probably go though. You sure you're ok?"

"Yeah." Lie #3 "You can go. I'm fine." Jane swallowed thickly. She wanted this conversation to end already.

_Be strong._

"Okay. I'll see you tomorrow, then." Jane gave a quick okay and logged off of her account and shut everything down, turned to bury her face in her pillow and let sleep overtake her.

* * *

She had woken up earlier than usual and trudged down the stairs and into the kitchen. She was greeted by her little brother, Tommy, who was just barely staying awake in front of his bowl of Lucky Charms.

"Hey, Tommy. Didn't catch you last night." He opened his eyes a little wider to look at Jane as she sat at the table with her own cereal.

"Studying." He grunted.

"What is there to study on the first day of school, Tommy?" Jane lifted an eyebrow in question.

"It's too early for a lecture, alright? I was studying." Tommy got up from the table and grabbed his backpack and headed out the door to his own school.

Kid is only 12 and in the seventh grade, what's there to do in the seventh grade?

_**I can think of lots of things.**_

_Too bad nobody asked you._

_**Technically you did ask.**_

Jane groaned and called Frankie down saying that it was time to go, and they both headed out of the door and to school.

* * *

Jane was still continuing her daily debate with Korsak and Frost as they walked through the student parking lot and into the school. In light, of last night's game it was centered around Zombies vs. Aliens.

"Look, all's I'm saying is that if I hear someone shout 'Alien!' I'm gonna look around for a tiny brown guy named ET. Not scary at all. Zombies eat people. That's pretty boss. Also, the walking dead, need I say more?" Jane argued as they walked down the hallway.

"She's gotta point Frost, The Walking Dead pretty much blows everything out of the water. Zombies are better." Frost just rolled his eyes and tossed a 'whatever' over his shoulder as he walked to his first hour class.

Korsak waved bye and took off in the same direction. Jane walked a couple of steps into her class and pushed up her glasses as she took her usual seat next to Maura in her AP Bio class. Maura already had her notes and books open and glanced over at Jane when she sat down.

"Good morning." That was enough to make a wide grin spread onto Jane's face.

"Morning." Maura turned to Jane and quirked an eyebrow noticing that Jane was staring. "Your eyes are pretty. What color are they?" Jane asked with a lazy grin on her face.

"I would say hazel, but that term varies from person to person. There are studies that state that hazel eyes come from a larger amount of melanin, however, it is not conclusive research. I'm rambling, aren't I?" Maura smiled and checked the front of the room to make sure the teacher hadn't begun lecturing. They still had time before the bell signaling the beginning of classes rang.

"No more than usual, it's fine though. It's a cool thing about you." Jane said while getting out her materials as the teacher came in and wrote the agenda on the board.

"You think I'm cool?"

"I mean, of course I do. I like how much you like what you like, you know?" She scrunched her nose and punched her glasses back up her face. "I mean, wait what? That was worded funny." Jane tried to backtrack and restructure the sentence in her mind to at least exude a hint of literacy. She caught blush on Maura's face before she turned back around to pay attention to the teacher.

Jane did her best to take down notes. They were touching on the topic of Human Anatomy in order to go more in depth about cells. Jane began to get more in the groove as the class period went on and began to furiously scribble down and highlight her notes. She may get distracted sometimes, but she was a good student. After the teacher wrapped up the lesson he reminded the class of their project and that it was due in two weeks.

"Do you want to work on our project after school today?" Maura questioned as she began to put her materials away.

"Yeah, sounds good." Jane agreed and followed suite. They walked out of there class and down the hallway. It had become routine for Jane to walk Maura to her classes. Maura turned around before she headed in and pulled out her phone.

"Here, put your number in, we can work on it at my house tonight. If that's good for you?" Jane nodded so quickly she thought her head might fall off.

"Perfectly fine. Always fine. So fine. I mean, just- yeah okay. I'll text you so you have my number too, okay?" Maura nodded and waved goodbye and walked into her class. Jane sighed and leaned up against the wall.

_I'm on cloud motherfucking 9._

_**Well bring yourself down to 8 because it's time for U.S. Government.**_

The warning bell rang signaling she had 30 seconds to get to class.


	3. Chapter 3

Jane was in a bad mood as she left US Government. The system was already fucked; she didn't want to learn about how the fuckery started. She was grumbling until she realized she had her Music class next. She walked down the stairs to the first floor and to the piano lab. She set her bag down in front of a keyboard, turned it on and began doing small warm ups. It was a free study type of class with performance based grading, which means she basically got to work on whatever she wanted.

She was working in her own rendition of 'Lost' by Frank Ocean. Her main goal was to take the original track and to turn it into a piano score, she hadn't even noticed she was humming along, and then full out singing.

_Now you're lost_

_Lost in the heat of it all_

_Girl you know you're lost_

_Lost in the thrill of it all_

_Miami, Amsterdam_

_Tokyo, Spain, lost_

_Los Angeles, India_

_Lost on a train, lost_

And lost she was. She got lost in between the bar lines and melodies. She lost herself in the ocean of sound and she had no intent of leaving. Her fingers danced around the piano keys as she played the song as the words flowed. It was almost as if the notes were weaving in and out of each other, bending and curling around each other like a game for two. She hadn't even realized her phone was vibrating or that her class hour had ended. When she glanced at the text message her phone received she immediately smiled.

**Maura: Lunch?**

Jane was already lost.

* * *

Jane made it to the lunch room with 10 minutes left in the hour. She quickly found her friends and settled down with her. Maura looked over at her and smiled while Frost frowned.

"Where have you been?"

"Piano lab. I was working on a project." She said as she went to steal one of Korsak's fries. He swatted her hand away after she already took a few. She swallowed one and stuck her tongue out at him. Korsak glowered at her.

"You're always somewhere playing the piano, Jane. I bet you even have an app for it." Jane threw a fry at his head and it fell to the ground and smirked when he realized he had none to throw back. Frost just laughed at the two and shook his head. Frost and Korsak then began talking about new movies that were coming out, completely leaving the girls out of the conversation.

"You'll have to play for me sometime, Jane." Maura whispered as she leaned over.

"Any time, Maura. Any time." Jane promised. The lunch bell rang after that and Maura walked Maura to her class and turned around to see Frost right behind with an eyebrow raised. Jane rolled her eyes. She didn't have time for this. She didn't know why he seemed to like Maura, but seemed not to like her at the same time. It was confusing and frankly Jane thought he needed to get over himself.

"What's going on with you two?" He probed. Jane rolled her eyes.

"What do you mean?" Jane demanded a little defensively as they began walking down the hallway to their respective classes.

"I'm just asking. You two have been spending a lot of time together. You seem close." He stated, making it sound as if he was asking a question.

"She's cool and I like her. She's my friend. She's our friend." Jane ran her fingers through her hair and huffed out a breath, a little agitated with her friend. She stopped at the part of the hallway where they split their ways and turned around to face him.

"Yeah, I know she is. I know. It's just- you know you can talk to me, right? You can talk to Korsak too. Okay?" He inquired and Jane just slowly nodded her head, not entirely sure where this was coming from.

"Yeah. Yeah I know." Lie #5 "I'll see you later, yeah?" Frost smiled slightly and nodded as her turned around and headed to his class. Jane exhaled loudly shook her head a little.

_What's his problem?_

_**Uh, hello, if it wasn't obvious, his obvious problem is you.**_

_You know what I mean._

Jane shook her head at herself and walked into the classroom.

* * *

Jane headed over to Maura's house in Beacon Hill at about 4pm. She looked up from the address Maura texted her and back up to the house she was parked in front of.

No. Not a house. This place was a freaking mansion. She tentatively exited her car and walked up the driveway and rang the doorbell.

"Yes?" It was a woman standing in front of Jane. She really began to think she might have the wrong house.

"Esme, if someone comes to the door send her up to my room please!" Jane glanced into the doorway when she heard Maura shout from somewhere from inside. The woman chuckled while stepping aside to let Jane the mansion.

"Sorry about that. I'm Esmeralda, but you can call me Esme. I'm the family's assistant of sorts, I help with basically keeping the home in order." She said while walking Jane to the staircase.

"Pretty name. I'm Jane." She smiled at her.

"Well Jane, I think Maura is expecting your company. Her room is on the left side of the house."

"Thanks Esme, it was nice meeting you!" Esme smiled and muttered a "likewise" and turned back and disappeared through the house. Jane walked up the grand staircase and walked turned left as she reached the top of the staircase.

Jane entered Maura's room and she was sitting in the middle of her bed on her laptop. She took a moment to look around her room. It was clean, obviously, and posters covered the walls. One wall was covered by portraits of DNA and Chromosomes. They were in all different types of designs, black &amp; white, watercolor, blood red, they were surely something else. Then again, so was Maura. Jane moved further into the room to greet Maura when she almost tripped on something moving on the ground.

"What the HELL is that?!" She shouted hopping away from the predator.

_**Way to make yourself seem like a total creeper, Rizzoli.**_

_I didn't mean to! It's just, that..thing is HUGE._

"Jane! I didn't notice that you had come in. Have you met Esme?"

"Uh, yeah I met Esme. But what I haven't met is that moving coffee table that looks like it would swallow me whole." Jane said slowly inching towards Maura and away from the predator.

"Jane, don't be silly. Bass is an herbivore. And he is not a coffee table!" Maura said bumping Jane's shoulder with her own and laughing softly.

"Bass? You named your," Jane paused, looking towards the offender. "…Thing after a fish?"

"He's an African spurred tortoise, Jane. And he was named after the founder of the Body Farm at the University of Tennessee, Knoxville."

"Right. Of course. Well I mean, cool turtle."

"Tortoise." Maura huffed and Jane smirked back.

"Right." Jane said while she plopped down on Maura's bed, who sat down on a chair across from Jane.

"So! Where do we start?" Maura said taking her own laptop of her backpack that she had forgotten she had on.

"Well I thought we could start on either side. One of us at the beginning and the other at present day. We can work ourselves to the middle."

"Sounds good." And they launched right into it. Every now and again they would check in with each other, or tell the other something really cool they had found. Maura more so than Jane. Jane started watching autopsies on YouTube.

"Mauraaaaa." Maura shushed her and Jane huffed and pouted. Maura turned to her and quirked an eyebrow, a smile playing on her lips.

"Are you pouting?" She asked letting a giggle slip through.

"Yes. Yes I am." Jane said letting her pout slip deeper. "Maura my brain is tired. It needs juice. Fun juice. Okay wait that sounds wrong..."

"We can take a break, Jane." Maura giggled as Jane did a fist pump in the air and quickly exited her current windows and clicked on another window. Netflix.

"Great because we're gonna watch Netflix. And I know just what." Jane muttered as we began clicking away on the site.

"Orange is the New Black? What is that?" Maura said as she laid down next to Jane who gasped in mock horror.

"Uh, only the best show ever! You'll love it. Guaranteed." Jane said as she pressed play.

"Well that escalated quickly." Maura said as the first scene played. Jane guffawed. She laid back on Maura's pillows and Maura followed her and while Jane put the laptop between the two. They watched around 4 or 5 episodes and Jane looked over expectantly at Maura after the last episode they watched was finished.

"State your ship. And don't you dare say Larry and Piper. That's like saying you ship Natasha Romanov and Captain America over Natasha and Hawkeye."

"I'm just confused, did Alex really turn in Piper?"

"Well…yeah. But she loves her!"

"Jane, you can't just do something like that and then think it's okay because they give you an 'I love you'. That's a poor excuse." Jane was about to refute when she felt her phone buzz in her pocket. She took out her phone and rolled her eyes upon seeing a message from her mom.

**Ma: home?**

Jane groaned and put her phone back in her pocket. She had completely lost track of time.

"My mom wants me home. I better go. Same time tomorrow?" Jane asked while gathering her things together.

"Tomorrow is good. I'll walk you to your car." Jane blushed and muttered a 'thank you' and followed Maura through the mansion.

When they arrived to Jane's car, Maura looked up to Jane and smiled.

"I had fun. This was fun."

"It was. I'm glad we did it. No like that! I mean. You know. Work. And stuff." She rambled, rubbing the back of her neck nervously. "Alright I gotta go. See you tomorrow!" Jane finished and hopped into her car. Maura just laughed and shook her head softly from side to side.

"See you at school, Jane." Maura stated. Jane smiled timidly and waved at Maura while she left the driveway. Jane groaned loudly in her car as she headed down the road.

_Stupid, stupid, stupid!_

_**Yeah, stupid.**_

_Shut up!_

* * *

Jane stepped through her front door at around 11 o'clock and she knew her mom would hear her as soon as she stepped through that front door. Soon enough she heard "Jane!" piercing through the house.

_Great. Just great._

_**Wow, you kind of suck.**_

_Wow, no one kind of asked you._

_**Must we really go through this again? Let me say if slowly now. I. Am. You.**_

Jane just rolled her eyes and made her way through the house until she saw her mother reading a book on the living room couch. She wouldn't be surprised if she saw Fabio on the front cover.

"Why were you out so late?"

"Sorry, Ma. I kind of lost track of time when I was working with Maura."

"Maura?" Jane rolled her eyes at how her mom got excited over her new friend.

_She's probably hoping she can finally have a girl around the house._

_**Yeah, we all know you failed in that department.**_

_You know what-_

"Jane!" Angela shouted.

"Oh yeah, what? I'm sorry. Uh wait what?" Jane stammered.

Angela just groaned and shook her head.

"Where do you go in that mind of yours, Janie? I was asking when are you gonna bring Maura around? I would love to meet her. I'm sure your father would too. It'll be nice for you to have a girl friend." Angela smiled.

Little does she know.

"We'll see, Ma. I'm gonna go to bed now, okay? Night." She stood up and kissed her mom on the cheek. Her mom smiled and murmured an 'I love you' while she headed up the stairs and into her room. She plopped into bed, and drifted off to sleep.

_**You forgot about your glasses, dork.**_

Jane rolled her eyes and took off her glasses, and then finally drifted to sleep.


	4. Chapter 4

They finished their project about a week and a half ago, and now it was just routine for Jane to come over after school and do her homework. Jane had finished and was lying on Maura's bed supine and humming with her eyes closed.

"My Ma wants to meet you." Maura looks up from her laptop to Jane and closes it slightly. Jane continues to hum softly, eyes still closed, and Maura's gaze softens and she smiles.

"Oh?"

"Yeah. I mean, you totally don't have to if you don't wanna it's just, she's really excited about me having a friend of the same gender. Thinks it'll turn me into a lady." Jane scoffs and runs her fingers through her hair as she sits up and faces Maura.

"Well, I for one would not mind meeting your parents. In fact, I would love to."

"Yeah?" She nods and Jane smiles softly back at her.

"I want to show you something." Maura stands up and smooths out her dress before offering Jane her hand. She takes it and allows herself to be led throughout the house.

They walk down the stairs from the second floor and to the first and Maura rounds a corner to a door that leads to a basement.

"You're not gonna like, skin me down here are you? Or force me to be a mother figure as you chain me to a bed, right?" She looks back at you with both eyebrows raised and cocks her head to the right.

"No. No I would say that is not in the agenda."

"That totally went right over your head didn't it? It totally did. That's it, American Horror Story is next on our list of shows to watch." Jane says and follows Maura down the stairs as she chuckles.

Jane swears she has never seen a cooler basement. On one side a very large room with the biggest tv you've ever seen. Complete with a popcorn maker and everything. Towards the back you see a pool table and a bar. It looks like a certified man cave. However, that's not where Maura was leading Jane. They kept walking and turned a corner and came to a door. Maura opened it and Jane nearly cried tears of joy.

It was a music room. There were guitars on the walls and saxophones and a drum kit sitting pretty in the corner. But what really caught Jane's eye was the beautiful black, sleek grand piano sitting in the middle of the room.

"Maura," Jane breathes out. "This is beautiful." Maura smiles and takes your hand and leads Jane to the piano and sits on the bench. She pats the spot next to her and Jane tentatively sits down, afraid shell wreck something.

"Play for me? Please?" She asks softly and Jane looks at her like she's gone absolutely mad.

"Play? On this? Yeah no, this piano is worth more than my life. I'll just sit here and look at it."

"Please?" Maura asks again and Jane sighs and carefully runs her fingers across the keys.

"Anything for you, right?" She rasped. Maura beams back at her and Jane thinks of a song to play.

_You lift my heart up when the rest of me is down_

Jane looks over at Maura before turning her focus back on the song.

_You, you enchant me even when you're not around_

_If there are boundaries, I will try to knock them down_

_I'm latching on, babe, now I know what I have found_

She feels Maura's hand slip onto her knee and run comforting circles there as she plays. Jane glances at Maura who nods at her smiling. She smiles back as she sings the hook.

_I feel we're close enough_

_Could I lock in your love?_

_I feel we're close enough_

_Could I lock in your love?_

Maura removes her hand from Jane's knee and carefully slides closer to Jane, trying not to disrupt the playing, and puts her arm around her waist and lays her head on her shoulder and closes her eyes while listening to Jane continue to sing and play softly.

_Now I've got you in my space_

_I won't let go of you_

_Got you shackled in my embrace_

_I'm latching on to you_

Jane leans her head over slightly to rest on top of Maura's. She stops singing and opts to just play out the rest of the song, fingers dancing across the keys expertly. Eventually the song tapers off to an end and Maura whispers softly, as if trying not to disturb the scene.

"That was beautiful, Jane." She breathes into the crook of Jane's neck. Jane shivers and swallows.

"Thank you." Jane whispered. Maura lifted her head just enough to look Jane in the eye, her own eyes shining with happiness an sincerity.

"No, thank you." She kissed Jane on the cheek and laid her head back down on her shoulder and in that moment Jane could have sworn up and down to God above that she had died and gone to heaven.

"Maura, darling?" A voice came from the door of the music room. Maura's head lolled over to face the door and upon seeing who was standing in the doorway she gently lifted her head from off of Jane's should but kept her arm in place.

"Mother?" Maura asked in bewilderment. Jane had always wondered about Maura's parent but didn't want to pry. She figured with how Maura lived her parents were probably off on business trips or something or another. But to leave your daughter for that long?

"Mother." Maura stated again and let a small smile escape as she stood up and walked over to her.

"Hello, darling." She stated in her elegant English accent. Maura looked back towards the piano and noticed Jane still sitting there. Maura tilted her head a little calling Jane over. Jane stood up and walked over and shuffled nervously while pushing her glasses back up her face. She stool her hand out for Maura's mother to shake.

"Jane. I'm Jane. Uh, Maura's friend. Meet you is nice. I mean uh pleased to meet you." She said retracting her hand and fixing her glasses.

"Maura, where did you find this one? She is absolutely adorable. The pleasure is mine, Jane. I am Constance Isles, Maura's mother, although you probably already gathered that."

Jane swallowed and nodded slowly and Maura registered Jane's nervousness.

"Is Daddy here?" Maura questioned and Constance nodded and smiled.

"Yes, he is upstairs settling himself. The chef is nearly done cooking dinner." Constance smiled and turned around to walk out of the door. She chuckled softly.

That Jane girl is so enamored.

* * *

"You don't have to stay." Maura said while she and Jane were laying on her bed watching some movie on Netlfix.

"No. I mean I could uh, go if you wanted me to. But I don't mind." Maura smiled back at her and shook her head.

"Stay. I want you to meet my parents."

"Then I'll stay." Jane's phone buzzed with a new text message.

**Frost: Friday. Movies?**

**Jane: Sounds good. X-Men?**

**Frost: Duh. What else?**

Jane rolled her eyes and put her phone back in her pocket.

"Wanna go to the movies on Friday?"

"I'd love to. What are we seeing?" Maura asked.

"The new X-Men movie. It's completely slaying the box office right now, right alongside Maleficent."

"Just us?" Maura asked looked up from the computer screen in front of her.

"Nah, the boys are coming too."

"Oh. Alright then, sounds good." Jane was about to open her mouth to speak when someone knocked softly on Maura's bedroom door. Maura muttered a quick "come in" and someone that Jane hadn't seen popped their head into the door stating that it was time for dinner. Maura nodded as he left.

"Who's that guy?"

"The chef, he's on call. He comes around more often when my parents are home." Maura said while standing. Jane rolled over to stand up but ended up rolling too far.

"Oomf!" Jane rolled over onto her stomach and rubbed the back of her head.

"Oh my God, Jane! Are you okay?" Maura said while looking into each eye and surveying her head for any bruising. Jane let her feel around on her face and grumbled.

"I'm fine." Jane grumbled out.

_**Your ego isn't.**_

"Good," Maura started before letting a slow smile slip onto her face. "Because that was pretty funny." She said and started to full out laugh while helping Jane up.

"Oh ha ha, laugh it up, Isles." Jane said letting her own smile creep up on her face while she pushed up her glasses.

"Oh, I will." Jane smiled and bumped her shoulder with hers as they walked through the halls. They were still smiling as they entered the dining room.

"Girls, nice of you to join us." A deep voice stated from the other end of the table. Maura looked up and smiled before walking over to hug the man.

"Daddy, I missed you." She said and stood up straight. "This is my friend, Jane. Jane, this is my father, Desmond Isles." Jane smiled and walked over with a small smile on her face.

"Mr. Isles, Nice to meet you." Jane said softly.

"The pleasure is mine. Sit down girls; I'm starving, so you two must be as well."

They all sat down. Jane took a place across from Maura and sat down. The chef already placed the food on the respective places. The food was delicious, although Jane had absolutely no idea what she was eating.

_I can feel it. I can feel it coming._

_**Feel what, exactly?**_

"So Jane, tell me about you."

_Ah, there it is. The third degree._

"Uh, I mean-there isn't a lot to tell," Jane began to nervously bounce her leg. She felt something touch her leg and looked up and saw Maura was looking back at her smiling encouragingly and nodding for her to continue. Jane inhaled deeply and silently. "I like your run of the mill nerd stuff, I guess. Comics, video games, stuff like that. I like music too." She finished while nervously rubbing the back of her neck. This time Constance spoke up.

"That would explain the music room. How long having you been playing?" Constance said placing her silverware neatly on the table and giving her full attention to Jane.

"Some years. I taught myself a while ago and now I take classes at the school. It helps."

"Have you ever thought about taking it farther? Maybe going to school for Music?" Desmond questioned.

"I don't know if I'm good enough for that." Jane said quietly and she heard Maura gasp from across her.

"That's simply not true, Jane. You play beautifully. You sing phenomenally as well. Don't be so modest." Maura chastised and Jane smiled.

"Thanks, Maur." Maura just smiled back and Constance looked between the two and then looked to her husband with her eyes brows raised, having a small conversation without words. He just smiled softly and shook his head slightly, Jane and Maura completely missing the entire exchange.

"Well, Jane. It was an absolute pleasure to meet you. I think Constance and I are going to retire for the evening." Constance smiled at Jane and touched Maura on the shoulder before heading up the stairs, and Desmond hung back to speak with Jane. He put a hand on her shoulder and Jane automatically assumed the worst.

_Oh God, he hates me. He's going to say I can never see Maura again._

_**Chill out, dude. You're making us more nervous than we have to be.**_

_Us? What happened to the whole we are the same person?_

"Feel free to come by any time, Jane. We'll definitely have a Jam session." He said and smiled at her walked up the stairs after his wife.

_Everything's chill, he totally likes me. Life is good._

Well life was good until she felt her phone buzz in her pocket.

**Ma: where r u?**

**Jane: On my way.**

Jane completely forgot to tell her mom she was going to be late. Again.

"Jane?" Maura questioned as she got up to sit next to Jane. "I hope that wasn't too horrible. If it's any consolation, my parents definitely like you." Maura beamed.

"Think so?" Jane asked softly, a small smile playing on her lips, secretly elated at the idea of Maura's parents accepting her.

"I know so." Maura said and placed her hand on Jane's forearm that was folded in her lap.

"My mom wants me home." Jane pouted and Maura shook her head smiling at Jane's pout and stood up and began walking Jane out to her car. When they were in the driveway Maura stood on the tips of her toes and kissed Jane on the cheek.

"I, uh, bye Maura. See you tomorrow, yeah?" Jane fumbled out and Maura smiled at Jane and nodded while walking backwards to her front door. Jane got in her car and drove off, doing a fist pump to the air.

_Life is good._

_**Yeah, wait until you get home.**_


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: Now that my senior obligations are over.. back to writing.

* * *

Jane pulled up into her driveway and tried her hardest to sneak up into her home without being detected. She was debating on if she should just sleep in the car, it would be better than the mouthful she was bound to endure with her mother. She thought she could take a breath when she hadn't seen her mother waiting for her. That is, until she saw her father instead. This could only mean one thing, trouble. At this point, Jane would rather it be her Mom's nagging voice telling her that she has to be more time conscious and responsible, she would take it in stride. Her father was a lot worse.

"Jane." He said simply.

"Pop. Where's Ma?" It wasn't often that Jane's father was the one waiting up for her, he left the worrying for her mother. So, when Jane saw him waiting of her, she was taken aback.

"Where were you?" His tone made her head pound, it was accusatory, probing.

"Maura's house. My friend?" Jane said slowly, as if testing the words as they came out of her mouth. Jane barely believed it herself.

"Your friend? You know I don't like being lied to, Jane." His voice dropped, as did her stomach.

_Shit, Shit. Fuck. Shit. He knows, doesn't he?_

_**Jesus, don't psych out. Calm down.**_

Jane took a deep, silent breath and spoke as evenly as she could.

"Yeah, I know."

"You sure have been spending an awful lotta time with this girl, Jane. I haven't even met her." He said lowly and Jane rubbed the back of her neck nervously.

"I mean, you can meet her if you want." She offered.

"I want to." Jane nodded slowly while Frank Sr. stood up, patting Jane's shoulder and walking up the stairs. Once she heard his bedroom door close she released a huff of relief and rubbed her forehead, which had collected a modicum of cold sweat, she hoped her father didn't notice her nervousness.

"Shit."

_**I know.**_

Jane collected herself and walked slowly up the stairs and into her room. Once she closed the door behind her she changed into a pair of spiderman boxers and and white tee and crawled into bed. She flipped open her laptop and began reading the E3 page and looking up game walkthroughs on Youtube, careful to take note off techniques. Once she had satisfactorily eased her mind, she exited out of the windows and set her laptop on her nightstand, only to pick up her cellphone. She clicked the home button her phone to see if she had any missed messages and she noticed that she did. Maura. She allowed a small smile to slip onto her face and read the message.

**Maura: So, what's the verdict?**

**Jane: Nothing too bad, Dad was waiting up for me. He wasn't too pleased with me.**

**Maura: I'm so sorry, Jane.**

**Jane: Not your fault. I should've remembered to contact my parents.**

Jane saw the three dots indicating that Maura was writing out a message, but it had been awhile.

**Jane: Maura?**

…

**Jane: Maur?**

...

Shaking her head Jane laughed softly.

_She probably fell asleep._

_**Which you should be doing now.**_

* * *

After Jane went through her morning routine she headed downstairs and saw that Frankie was already waiting for her.

"Whatd'ya do to piss Ma and Pop off?" He questioned as Jane got a water bottle from the fridge and put it in her backpack. She grabbed her keys from the key ring and headed for the door.

"What're you talking about?" She asked.

"Well, Pop was extra grumpy this mornin' before he headed to work and I haven't even seen Ma. So, what did you do? I know you came in kinda late last night."

"That was it," Jane said as she started up her car and headed out of the driveway. "I came in a little late. Pop was pissed. End of story." Jane said and Frankie just looked at her for a few moments more before turning his head to look out the window. She just wanted to pick up Frost and Korsak without getting the third degree from her little brother.

"Listen, Jane," He started and Jane internally groaned.

So not in the mood for this.

"I know something's eating at you, okay? And if you ever wanna talk about it I'm here. I know I'm just your silly kid brother, but I'm hear. I swear. Okay?" He was looking at her again now. Jane fought the will to cry. She stopped at a red light and looked over to Frankie who had so much sincerity in his eyes she nearly choked up. Of course she didn't, she's Jane Rizzoli.

"Thank you." She whispered and he nodded, a smile forming on his face. The light turned green.

* * *

Jane walked into her AP Bio class to see Maura seated over at their lab station. She smiled brightly and Maura looked up and returned it. Jane set her backpack on the ground and took out her book and notebook. She looked up to see Maura looking at her with an easy smile on her face.

"Uh, is there something on my face?" Jane said and looked at her reflection on her phone while Maura smiled and shook her head.

"You elevate my dopamine levels without even trying." She said lightly and Jane had to stop herself from fainting right then and there.

"I'm sorry about last night." Jane looked up at her and shook her head.

"I told you, Maur. Not your fault. Besides, you'll always be worth being a little late for. It's not a big deal." Apparently the bell had rung because their teacher was handing back quizzes that they had taken earlier that week. Jane put the quiz in her folder without even looking at it, knowing that she did well and look back to Maura who had blush creeping up her neck. She smiled at Jane and turned to the teacher. The teacher had assigned them a new lab to do which included dissection. They were going to study the anatomy of a frog and compare it to that of the human anatomy. The teacher was up in the front giving them instructions but of course, Maura didn't really need them. She expertly pulled the skin up with the tweezers and made horizontal cuts with the scalpel.

"Uh, Maura?" Jane whispered loudly. Maura looked over to Jane with an eyebrow quirked up.

"Yes, Jane?" she said setting down the equipment and Jane just gawked.

"How do you know how to dissect a frog?" Jane questioned. Maura simply laughed and gave a one shouldered shrug.

"YouTube." She said simply and picked back up the scalpel to make the second incision. Jane just laughed softly and looked down at the frog. She tried to keep her excitement down to a reasonable level.

"Whoa."

"Whoa, what?" Maura asked as she inspected the organs of the frog.

"This. Is. So. COOL!" Jane said as she went to stand closer next to Maura so that she could get a better look. She put on her gloves and went to poke around. That is until Maura pushed her hand away before she could get the chance.

"Jane! You're disrupting the organs, take a look as a whole first. What do you see that's different?"

"Well, everything is tiny. Like really tiny. Our organs are definitely not that tiny." Jane said and nodded her head in finality. Maura just shook her head, knowing that Jane could easily spot the differences since she head her head bowed over her lab sheet. Maura began to work on her own lab sheet and poke around in the amphibian occasionally. Jane would sometimes glance over at her to compare answers and then nod contently when she saw that they had the same responses. They continued like this until the bell rang and the teacher announced that they had book work to to finish for homework the next day.

"We still on for tomorrow?" Jane said as she stood up and pout her back on, watching Maura do the same and headed out t Maura's next class.

"Of course." Maura said and stopped in front of her class.

"Cool. Alright then, uh, I'll see you at lunch?" Jane said and Maura smiled and nodded as she headed into class and Jane nodded and turned around only to bump into something solid and fell to the ground.

"Jesus, watch where you're going, Nerd." A deep voice grumbled and Jane looked up blurred eyed because her glasses had gotten knocked off of her face.

"Sorry." Jane managed to choke out and began to look around for her glasses.

"Ah shit, Nerdzzoli, that you? You need these?" the guy dangled the glasses above her head and Jane nodded and mumbled out:

"Give them back, please."

"Well since you asked so nicely. I'm feeling a little generous." He put her glasses on the ground and kicked them over across the hall laughing tossing a "see you around, nerd." over his shoulder and headed into the class that Maura was in. Jane sighed and picked herself up and went across the hall to pick up her glasses. She placed them on and sighed, heading to her next class.

_I shouldn't have to put up with this._

_I am a good fucking person._

_Aren't I a good fucking person?_

_**You are a good fucking person.**_

_Thank you._

_**Any time.**_

* * *

Jane really was going to try to head to her lunch and eat like a normal person. However, not surprisingly, she found herself going onto the first floor and heading into the piano labs. She sat down at a keyboard and laid her head down. Breathing deeply she shook her head back and forth.

"I can't do this." She whispered and sat her head up while slouching in her chair, letting her fingers graze over the keys. She felt her phone vibrating and took it out just to turn it off and sigh. Now was not the time. Sometimes you just need to wallow. She let her fingers play what they needed to play, she followed their lead and acted merely as a vessel for the emotions that needed to come out. Whatever she needed in that moment she hoped she could find. She wanted answers, she wanted comfort, she wanted sound.

_Got shackles on, my words are tied_

_Fear can make you compromise_

_With the lights turned up, it's hard to hide_

_Sometimes I wanna disappear_

The song that was normally a little upbeat and fun, Jane played it differently. It was mellow, it was searching. Her fingers danced across the keys like a a cloud, it was light. She was looking for answers in a song that seemed to feel how she felt. She was playing a song that knew what it was like to want to disappear sometimes. She needed to know that it was okay. That it was okay to feel the way she felt, that it was okay to like the things she liked. That it was okay to want to go away for awhile., whether that be through music, or daydreaming, or physically going away. She wanted to know that the way she felt was validated. She wanted to be validated. And she didn't want to be quiet. She didn't want to bite her tongue.

_Raise up to your ability_

_You never knew what I could find_

_What would come when we realize_

_I don't want to compromise_

Jane didn't want to compromise her feelings for anyone else anymore. She didn't want to have to lie to her parents, she didn't want to keep her mouth closed when she was being bullied. She did not want to be ridiculed or shunned for the way that she was. She was fine just the way she was. She just had to find out how to do it. She had to find our how to be brave. And she would. She had to.

She turned her phone back on and was greeted with a few text messages. She, of course, opened the one from Maura first.

**Maura: Are you okay?**

**Jane: Yeah. Yeah, I am.**

And she was. At least, in that moment, when her blood was still wired with chords and melodies, she was okay.


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: Did this update feel longer than usual? It felt like it. Parents found out I went to a party and brought my sister (who decided to drink) and I of course being the older sibling got in trouble. Anyway they took my laptop but now I have it back.

* * *

Jane was bopping her head along to the song that was coming through her iHome. Hans Zimmer's 'My Enemy' from the Spider-Man 2 soundtrack. All it was doing was further adding to her mood.

_I swear I feel like Peter Parker with Maura being Mary Jane._

_I mean, it's just the movies._

_Why should it matter what I wear._

_**'Cuz Maura is going, stupid.**_

_Right._

Jane sighed and opted to plop on her bed rather than stand, still looking intensely at her open closet. She heard a knock on her door and answered "come in" after a couple moments, leaning over to her dock to turn the volume down. Frankie peeked his head through the door first before fully stepping inside.

"So, can I come?" Frankie said and Jane immediately rolled her eyes. Why do younger siblings always feel the need to tag along? Why can't they just stay in their little bubble of nothing.

"No, Frankie. Now go away." Jane said not turning from her position.

"C'mon, Janie, please?" Frankie pleaded. Jane remained silent, figuring that would be enough of an answer, and continued with the stare off between her and her closet.

"Fine." Frankie grumbled and turned from the doorway. Jane barely got a breath in before she was bothered again.

"Jane."

"Jane."

"JANE!"

"WHAT?" Jane yelled and whipped around from her closet to face her younger brother, placing one hand on her hip.

"Can I come?" Tommy asked rolling back and forth on the balls of his feet. Jane sighed and returned to glaring at her closet.

_Younger siblings. Honestly._

"No." Jane huffed out.

"Aw, c'mon. Why not?" He whined and Jane put to fingers to her temple and inhaled deeply.

"Because you can't. If Frankie can't come, you sure as hell can't." She said and exhaled the breath she was holding. "Now leave me alone and go do whatever it is 12 year olds do." She said and Tommy turned from the doorway and grumbled all the way back to his room. She let out a sigh of relief when she heard his bedroom door close. Back to the real problem at hand. Her closet.

It's kind of funny when you think about it. Having troubles with the closet. Heh.

Jane took off her glasses and wiped them on her tank, as if it would help help her see new clothes, or make new ones magically appear.

"Ugh." Jane groaned and ran her fingers through her unruly curls, thoroughly aggravated.

"You know what?" Jane said while throwing her hands up in defeat and heading over to her dresser. She put on some simple black skinny jeans, a white v neck and her favorite pair of marvel vans. "This is gonna have to be good enough." After Jane finished getting dressed she heard her music pause to alert her that she had gotten a message.

**Maura: Outside.**

Jane smiled and grabbed her keys and wallet and glided down the stairs.

"Bye, Ma!" Jane exclaimed to her mother who was washing dishes at the kitchen sink. Her mom threw a "bye" over her shoulder as Jane opened the front door.

"Wait a second, Jane." She heard a gruff voice say. She turned and faced the living room where she heard it come from. Closing the door slowly, but not all the way, and walking towards the person who she knew the voice belonged to.

"Uh," Jane started, slightly startled, and began to fidget, shifting her weight from one foot to the other and back again. "Yeah, Pop?" She asked and rubbed the back of her neck nervously.

"Where are you going?" He asked simply and monotonously, not betraying a single emotion.

"Out." Jane answered simply, returning the tone he used with her.

"Out, where?" He prodded, Jane could hear his temper easing into his voice. Jane rolled her shoulders and leaned gently on the wall behind her.

"The movies. With Frost and Korsak." She answered slowly.

"Just Frost and Korsak? Who is that outside in that nice car, then?" He said looking at Jane with stony eyes. Jane internally cursed.

"Maybe Frost or Korsak got a new car." Jane answered shrugging her shoulders. Her Father raised an eyebrow in warning and she relented. "That just Maura. She's coming too." She answered calmly, trying her damnedest to keep her voice even and aloof. Her father looked her straight in the eyes before looking back at the television. Jane hadn't noticed that he was watching an old red sox game.

"Okay then." There was a pregnant pause, and Jane could feel her anxiety building up. "See you later. Don't be too late." He finished and turned the volume up on the tv. Jane took that as a cue and nodded while turning on her heel, leaving the room slightly dazed.

Jane jogged out of the front door to Maura's waiting car and hopped in the passenger seat, Breathing a sigh of relief.

"Hey, Maur." Jane smiled as she clicked her seatbelt in place and Maura quickly threw a quick smile her way as she backed out of the driveway.

"Are you okay?" Maura asked, concerned coating her voice and washing over her face. "You seem a bit pallid." She finished doing a once over on Jane while they were stopped at a red light.

"Yeah. I'm fine. Don't worry." Jane said with a flick of her wrist in dismissal and looked out of the car window.

They drove in a comfortable silence all the way to the movie theater, which they quickly found out, was packed. Welcome to the city.

Jane walked over to Maura's side of the door and opened it for her. Once Maura stepped out of the car she slipped her arm through Jane's and they began to walk leisurely towards the entrance. Once they were inside they walked up to the line. Jane sighing in relief to see it wasn't that long.

"Two for X-Men, please." Jane said and took out her debit card.

"Students?" The cashier asked and Jane nodded her head.

"Yeah, one sec." Jane handed over her school ID and the guy rung her up.

"Enjoy the movie." The attendant said.

"You too."

_'You too' shit, I always do that._

_**Dork.**_

"You didn't have to do that, Jane." Maura said while Jane scanned the crowd looking for Frost and Korsak.

"Do what?" She asked casting a questioning glance towards Maura, knowing full well what she was talking about.

"Pay for me."

Jane shrugged it off. "Don't worry about it, I wanted to." She smiled and continued, "You hungry?" She said pointing over to the concessions and she could swear she saw Maura almost go into cardiac arrest thinking about the calories. Maura began hurriedly talking about all of the things in junk food. Something about the nutritional deficiencies.

"I'm sorry." Maura said looking down bashfully.

"Stop apologizing for being crazy smart. Although, a simple 'no' would have sufficed." Jane said and smiled lazily while Maura giggled softly.

"Oh, Jane, there they are!" Maura exclaimed and pulled Jane along to Frost and Korsak who were sitting on a bench outside a theater.

"Took you guys long enough." Korsak said and punched Jane lightly in the arm. Jane punched him back with her free arm and they began to laugh lightly. Frost was silent and seemed to be looking at Maura and Jane's intertwined arms. Jane looked at him and quieted an eyebrow and Korsak who simply shrugged his shoulders.

"Frost?" Jane said looking at him.

"Huh?" He said shaking his head slightly.

"You ready to get blown away?" Jane said a small smile playing on her lips, her excitement painted all over her features. Korsak and Maura had already started to walk in and were talking amongst themselves while they looked for seats. Frost smiled back at Jane tightly.

"Already am."

* * *

"Oh. My. God." Jane, Korsak and Frost said at the same time as the end credits rolled on the screen. Maura, sitting in between Jane and Korsak, shook her head at the three of them and laughed gently.

"It was quite an enjoyable movie." She said an three heads looked incredulously towards her.

"Enjoyable?" Korsak questioned, feeling as though the comment personally offended him.

"Just enjoyable?" Jane asked after, looking as though Maura had steeped on her dog. Frost just shook his head in disbelief and scoffed lightly.

"I mean, amazing...?" Maura tested, looking at the three faces and watched as people still sat and watched the credits finish, the rest of the theater already filtering out.

"No, Maur, You don't get to do that. You don't get to say 'enjoyable' to one of the best movies out right now. Nope. Can't take that. You are now shunned." Jane said in finality with a small smirk playing on her lips ad Korsak laughed and nodded.

"Yeah, Maura. this is pretty much a crime against this fine country. It's treason. We simply can't allow it." Korsak finished and Jane laughed and while Maura looked genuinely concerned. Jane was quick to fix the situation.

"We're only kidding. Sorry, Maura. You're totally not shunned." Jane rushed out and Maura visibly relaxed.

"Speak for yourself." Frost said with a tense smile on his face, trying to make it come off jokingly. Jane hit her shoulder with his and they all stood up.

"Need a ride, Jane?" Frost asked while they exited the theater, all of them, sans Maura, still on an adrenaline high from the action.

"I can take her, Barry. It's fine." Maura interjected and he tensed.

"You sure?"

"It's no problem, I assure you." Maura finished with a smile and Jane threw a worried glance to Frost, knowing something was up.

"Hey, I'll catch up with you in a minute, okay, Maur?" Jane said to Maura who nodded and walked with Korsak out of the entrance doors. Jane pulled frost away into a hallway and glowered.

"Okay, what the hell is wrong with you, man? You've been acting really shitty lately and I'm tired of it. Just tell me what your deal is."

"Me? I've been acting shitty? Oh, Jane, that's rich." Frost said and began to walk away but Jane stepped in front of him before he could get any farther.

"Seriously. What's your deal, Frost?" Jane urged, and Frost just groaned.

"Why don't you go ask your girlfriend what's wrong. You spend all your spare time with her now anyway. No time for your friends anymore, Jane? Well whatever. I'm over it." Frost said and brushed past Jane, who stood stock still. She finally gained use of her limbs and began to walked briskly to Frost.

"You serious? We aren't dating. We're just friends. I swear." Jane forced out even though with every fiber of her being, she wished they were more. Frost just scoffed and walked past Maura, who had opted to wait by the entrance for Jane, and out into the parking lot looking for Korsak. Maura looked over to jane with concern inching onto her face and Jane just shook her head as she walked up to her.

"You ready?" She managed to get out and Maura nodded her head slowly and walked through the door Jane was holding open for her.

They walked to Maura's car, Jane with her hands stuffed in her jean pockets. When they reached the car Maura turned to face Jane who stopped abruptly in front of her.

"Jane?" Maura asked softly and Jane raised an eyebrow in question.

"Yeah?"

"I enjoyed tonight. Thank you for letting me tag along." Jane smiled goofily at her and scuffed her feet on the pavement.

"I like you, Maura. And, you're more than just a tag along, okay?" Jane asked seriously and Maura gently nodded her yea. Jane beamed at her and opened the door for her and waited for her to get in before closing the door and heading the the passenger door.

"Jane?" Maura asked looking over at Jane before she started the car. Jane made a small noise in question.

"Want to just stay over tonight?"

_Dear God._

_**You won't be able to handle this.**_

_Abort Mission_

_ABORT._

"Sure." Jane smiled before taking out her phone before continuing "Let me text my mom."

_Well, it was good know you, myself, me. It was just good fucking living while it lasted._

Maura smiled excitedly back and quickly leaned over the console to give Jane a quick kiss on the cheek before starting the car.

Scratch that, I'm already dead.


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: Sorry about the wait. I appreciate the continued support and hope you guys are enjoying.

* * *

"Wait," Maura said gasping for air, laughing so hard he could barely get a sentence out. "He said what?"

"Okay okay okay," Jane said after a large inhale, trying to get her laughter under control. "So I said, dude, what does hydrophobic mean? We had been going over it for like, ever, mind you. And this guy," Jane stops to catch a breathe from laughing. "This guy tells me, A fear of utility bills? I kid you not, Maur. I lost it." Jane and Maura were laughing side by side on their backs and laughing uncontrollably.

"Oh my gosh. A fear of utility bills. I can't believe it." Maura said as their laughter died down.

"Well believe it. Because now every time I hear hydrophobic I think of the utility bill."

"I mean, it's obviously a molecule that is seemingly repelled from a mass of water." Maura finished, shaking her head. Jane propped herself on her elbow and looked over at Maura.

"Obviously." She smirked and Maura rolled her eyes at the sarcasm lacing her voice. Jane gasped in amusement.

"Maura, what's your middle name?" Jane stopped and waited.

"Random. It's Dorothea." Maura answered and a light blush spilled upon her cheeks.

"Dorothea? Okay. Maura Dorothea Isles, did you just roll your eyes at me? Also, again, Dorothea?" Jane breathed out slowly, evident that she was trying to keep herself from laughing.

"Yes, Jane, Dorothea. Don't laugh! What's your middle name?"

"Not telling." Jane said and smirked and Maura's face was disgusted.

"Jane, that's not fair! Tell me."

"No."

"Jane."

Jane shook her head furiously and Maura threw a deadly glare her way. Jane shrunk under her glare, she wasn't about to say no this time.

"Okay okay! Sheesh. Don't look at me like that. It's Clementine."

"So you laughed at mine, yet your middle name is Clementine? Cute."

"Yeah yeah laugh it up, Dorothea." Maura glared at Jane, who laughed and shook her head. Jane heard a small yawn and looked over Maura.

"Tired?" Jane asked.

"Yeah." she said closing her eyes. Maura heard shuffling around and cracked open an eye.

"What are you doing?" Maura questioned when she saw Jane get up.

"Uh, gonna let you sleep? Do you have and extra blanket or something?" Jane asked looking around the room.

"Where are you planning to sleep?" Maura questioned Jane again.

"I, uh," she glanced around the room and rubbed the back of her neck. Jane was always at Maura's house but she'd never slept over. "The floor..?" She tested and Maura looked absolutely flabbergasted.

"Jane, you do not have to sleep on the floor. There is plenty of room in my bed. Unless you want the guest bedroom?"

"No, I'll stay in here then." Jane said a little nervously while Maura smiled at that.

"Do you need pajamas?"

"That would be nice, yeah." Maura got up and started sifting through her drawer and walked to Jane with fabric in hand.

"Seriously, Maura? Silk?"

"What?" Maura asked looking down at the pajamas and Jane shook her head and took the clothes from her.

"Anything you need is in the drawer on the left under the sink." Jane nodded and headed across the hall. After closing the door softly she hurriedly changed into the pajamas and shook her head.

_Honestly, Silk?_

She reached for the drawer Maura told her about and found new toothbrushes and toothpaste.

Brushing her teeth thoroughly and quickly, she walked back across the hall and knocked silently on the cracked door.

"You can come in, Jane."

_Okay, Maura in silk shorts? New favorite thing._

_**Dude.**_

_Yeah, I know._

_**No, as in dude, I think she's saying something.**_

"Jane?"

"Sorry what?" Jane asked nervously and rubbed the back of her neck.

Maura shook her head and smiled gently. She yawned largely, covering her mouth with the back of her hand.

"Sorry, I asked what side of the bed do you sleep on?"

"Oh, it doesn't matter. You choose and I'll follow." Maura nodded and slipped into the right side of the bed, where she was already standing. Jane walked cautiously to the left side and slipped under the comforter.

Maura switched off the lamp that was illuminating the room. Covered in darkness and silence, Jane slowly began to feel her body relax while in contrast her mind began to race.

It continued like that for about 20 minutes and Jane still hadn't fallen asleep.

She felt shuffling and she an arm slung over her waist.

Immediately stiffening, Jane looked down at Maura who looked fast asleep.

"Uh, Maur?"

"Maura?" And after that she heard Maura let out a small sigh.

"Jane. Thinking too loud. Sleep." Maura said sleepily and then resettled her head in the crook of Jane's neck. Immediately falling back asleep.

Jane smiled softly, yawning, she began to feel her body relax and so did her mind.

RIZZLESRIZZLESRIZZLESRIZZLES

Jane woke up to light streaming through Maura's gigantic windows.

She looked over to the alarm clock on her side of the bed.

9:37 a.m.

Aka ridiculously too early to be up on a Saturday.

"Good morning." Jane look down to see her arms still comfortably wrapped around Maura, whose eyes were still closed and was breathing easily and slowly into the crook of her neck.

Jane smiled lazily. Drinking in the sight of Maura early in the morning. How could someone manage to be so beautiful this early in the morning after they just woke up? The world may never know.

"Morning to you too. How long have you been up?" Jane rasped, her voice deeper than usual from not being used.

"When you awoke." she stated simply, eyes still closed and breathing still slow and languid. As if she might succumb to sleep again at any moment.

"Sorry I woke you." Jane said while absentmindedly running her fingers through Maura's locks.

"Mmm. Don't be." Maura humming contently. They sat like that for a short while, enjoying each other's presence.

"Are you doing anything today?" Jane asked quietly, careful not to disturb the comfortable silence.

"Yes, I am. I'm spending the day with you." Maura said matter of factly. Jane smiled at that.

"Oh, are you?" Jane smirked at that.

"Yes, what are we doing today?" Maura said nestling further into Jane's embrace. "Even though I kind of don't want to leave this bed." she finished and sighed deeply.

"I understand the feeling. I have an idea of what we can do today."

"Oh?" Maura said smiling, turning her head slightly so that she could look Jane in the eyes. "Please, do enlighten me."

"Nope, it's a surprise."

"I'm not too fond of surprises." Maura tested. Jane just chuckled,knowing she was just testing to see what she could get out of her.

"Right. Well I think you'll like this one." Jane said with finality, determined not to crack under Maura's will.

Both girls were smiling foolishly at one another until the door cracked open and Maura's father peeked his head in.

"Girls?" He looked to see them wrapped into each other and shook his head slightly, excited to gossip to his wife about the development of this relationship.

"Uh," was all Jane could get out before Maura jumped in.

"Yes, Daddy?" she asked innocently.

He smirked at her.

"I've been knocking on your door for about 5 minutes. Breakfast is ready. Care to join us?" He stated. Jane blushed and Maura's eyes went wide.

"Be down in a moment." Desmond nodded and shut the door heading down the stairs to join his wife.

"Did you wake the girls?" Constance asked while sipping a cup of tea.

"Oh darling," he started, an excited grin spilling onto his face. "You will not believe what I just witnessed." He said while sitting down next to her and began to gush to Constance's eager ears.

Breakfast wasn't an often occurrence in the Isles' household. Mainly because her parents were always busy with work or something or another.

However, when her parents were in town, breakfast was certainly never this nerve wracking. You would swear that the girls were caught doing something other than early morning cuddling.

"So," Desmond Isles started, trying his hardest to keep a smirk off of his face. The girls both holding their breath, assuming the worst. "How was the movie?" he finished, relishing in the relief he saw in the urls as they let out a breath.

"Enjoyable." Maura said a sip of orange juice, shooting a glance at Jane whose mouth was agape.

"Oh, I assure you it was more than just _enjoyable_. It was amazing. I could have done with more Ellen Page, but Jennifer Lawrence made up for it." Jane said while going over a quick recap in her mind. Constance gave an amused smile and Maura looked at her like she was the eighth wonder of the world. There's something about watching someone getting so excited over someone they like.

"I agree," Desmond started "They did go in a completely different direction than I was expecting."

"You saw?" Jane asked in surprise.

"Of course, I may be European, but I do enjoy things, you know." He stated smiling at her. "Especially superheroes. Tell me, Jane, Marvel or DC?" And like that breakfast was forgotten between the two and they started a heated discussion. Constance and Maura eyed them amusedly.

"Maura." Maura turned her head to her Mother who was working on another cup of tea. Constance tilted her head slightly in Jane's direction, who was still having an animated discussion with her Father. She smiled gently and turned her head back to her Mother. She watched her mouth "Have you told her?" to which she simply shook her head and picked around her plate. Constance tsked lightly and smiled at her daughter.

"Do you guys have any plans for today?" Maura turned her attention back to Jane and her Father as the conversation now included her.

"Well, yes, we do. Jane however simply refuses to tell me where we're going." She stated with a small pout forming on her face.

Jane looked up, whose mouth was full with the food she had forgotten about. She smiled a chipmunk smile at Maura before swallowing.

"I told you, Maur. It's a surprise. You'll like it."

"Well in that regard," Constance said and stood up. "We'll let you children get a start on your day. Have fun you two." Her husband stood up behind her and followed her out of the room, tossing a quick "see you later" over his shoulders to the girls.

"You ready?" Maura nodded and Jane smiled.

RIZZLESRIZZLESRIZZLESRIZZLES

"Jane just tell me." Maura asked for the upteenth time, her curiosity getting the better of her.

"Nope," Jane answered popping the 'p'. "No matter how many times you ask me I'm not telling, Maur." She looked over from the steering wheel to see Maura with the most adorable pout.

"Oh, c'mon Maur. We're nearly there. Give it 10 minutes." Jane said as they continued to drive around Boston. Maura looked out the window and felt her excitement well up. She began to recognize the route they were taking.

"Oh my Goodness."

"What?" Jane asked and Maura looked over to her eyes wide and shining. "Oh c'mon Maura. Really?" Maura bit down on her lip and nodded her head furiously with excitement, having figured out where they're going. Jane sighed feigning annoyance.

"The New England Aquarium?!" Maura asked, her excitement welling over.

"Yes, Maura." Jane answered laughing and shaking her head. "The aquarium."

Maura was basically jumping up and down in her seat as they drew closer to the aquarium. When they finally pulled up Jane looked over to Maura who had her excitement written all over her face. Jane began circling the parking lot looking for a spot finding one relatively close to the entrance.

Before Jane had the chance to unbuckled her seatbelt, Maura was already on her side of the car opening up the door.

"This is so amazing, Jane." Maura stated as Jane stepped out of the car door and slipped her arm through Maura's. "Thank you for this. Really. I haven't been to the aquarium in ages." Jane smiled and shook her head.

"Anything for you, Maur." Jane said and smiled cheekily at Maura who placed a small peck on the corner of Jane's mouth.

"I, you, walk. Aquarium? Yes?" Jane said pointed towards the entrance and Maura chuckled at Jane's nervousness.

"Yes! Can we see the Eretmochelys Imbricata first?" Maura asked as they began walking towards the door.

"The Ere what now?"

"Eretmochelys Imbricata. The hawksbill sea turtle." Maura asked and Jane nodded.

"Of course, first stop, Franklin the turtles house."


	8. Chapter 8

A/N: This chapter is heavily inspired by the song Galileo by Josh Groban, especially in the observatory scene. I recommend listening to it while reading. I hope you guys enjoy.

* * *

"Jane!" Maura exclaimed, tugging on Jane's forearm excitedly leading her to the next exhibit. They had seen basically the whole aquarium. They had taken a break for lunch, which didn't last long since Maura was ready to go exploring again, which had been some hours ago.

"Jane, look." Maura rushed out softly as if not to disturb whatever was in the tank. She gave Jane a gentle nudge silently telling her to look at what was in front of her. Jane was busy taking in Maura's face and all of the emotions that painted it. If she could make her smile everyday for the rest of forever, God, she would.

"Jane." Maura whispered again, lower than the first time. It was this whisper that got her to look towards the ginormous "tank" if you could call it that. It was like its own ocean. Jane's eyes grew large and she quietly gasped as she leaned closer to the glass.

Sea turtles.

They were beautiful, breathtakingly so. Not the pretty kind, like the fish they had just seen that were bright and colorful. They were magnificent, they looked like they had time on their side, like they had even more to come. Which, of course, Jane knew they did due to their longevity.

Wise.

Thats how they looked.

Which is weird because how can a turtle look so wise?

These turtles were magnificent, they were such beautiful creatures. Swimming along without a single care in the world, like they had time.

Time.

_Its like Nemo._

_**Way to compare this to Disney**_

You know, the scene where the turtles were riding the current. It just seems, I don't know, peaceful.

_**You're looking for Squirt.**_

"Wow," Jane began, quieting her mind, her eyes flitting across the tank trying to take them all in "I mean just, wow."

"They're beautiful." Maura said in awe. The dimmed room was mostly empty, casting a cool deep blue glow over them. It was almost as if they were right along side them.

"Yeah."

Jane looked over at Maura, who had the most serene look on her face, and wondered who could create such a joy. They stayed there for about another 30 minutes watching the turtles and Jane listening whenever Maura gave out odd facts here and there about the species they saw.

"Come on," Jane started while reaching for Maura's hand. Maura automatically placed her hand in Jane's and quieted an eyebrow. "There's another part to the surprise."

"What is it?" Maura asked allowing herself to be led out of the room.

"Come on, Maura. You should know by now I'm not telling you. Plus, if I did it wouldn't be much of a surprise now would it?" Jane asked as they walked through the aquarium and out the front doors to the car where Jane opened the door for Maura who smiled appreciatively in return.

"Are you positive I can't get you to tell me?" Maura asked as she buckled her seatbelt while Jane did the same.

"Positive. But you'll love it, honest." Jane promised and Maura pouted in the passenger seat. Jane playfully rolled her eyes and put the car in gear, heading off to their next destination.

"Jaaanee."

"Mauraaaaa." Jane mimicked which caused Maura to cast a glare her way.

"We will be there soon, Maur." Jane assured, chuckling at Maura's impatience whenever she was excited to get somewhere.

Jane was driving the winding roads of Boston passing through the city as the sun began to fully set. It was difficult to see the stars because the city lights. Jane began to get excited, as she pulled into designation. She could feel Maura getting excited as well as Jane pulled into a parking spot.

The Boston University observatory.

"Jane..The observatory" Maura breathed as Jane nodded and got out of the car to walk to Maura's side of the and and open it for her. Maura pulled her jacket tightly around her and reached for Jane's hand who gave it to her without a single thought. They entered the observatory hand in hand and they were both practically buzzing with excitement.

There were a few people up observing as well, but not many. Probably due to the dropping temperatures. Jane led Maura over to the gigantic telescope who eagerly looked through the lens. Jane was content to watch Maura's excitement grow as she peered through the telescope and rattled off random facts.

"Who paints the stars at night, Jane?" Maura asked in awe as she combed through the night sky with the help of the high powered telescope. She wondered who up there, put the rainbows in the sky. She wanted to know who created all of the marvels that are in this universe. The questions floated around Jane's head, it got the better of her scientific mind.

Who did paint the stars in the sky?

Certainly, it wasn't a person though, right? But if it was, maybe it would be a famous astronomer, or maybe an artist, someone who appreciated the intricacies of the world and of the universe.

_Maybe Galileo._

Maura was way smarter than Jane, at least that's what Jane believed. So she must know that stars are just balls of gas, they might not even still be in the sky. Time moves so very slow.

Maura knew this, she was smart, she was gonna be phenomenal at whatever she wanted to do in life. Jane moved her head to gaze at Maura. She looked completely and utterly content, exploring the world with a set of brand new eyes, something Jane had always admired. The way she would get extremely excited over something she loved or enjoyed. It was refreshing, not many people let themselves be completely overcome with happiness, to the point where they can't stop talking about what gives them so much joy.

_She's so beautiful. _

Jane had a hard time comprehending what she was feeling, but oh sweet and merciful Zeus, did she feel it.

And now, under the dark blanket of the night sky, Jane was wondering who painted the stars in the sky, and began wondering if the same person could dream up someone like Maura, someone so special, so brilliant.

"Be mine." Jane breathed. Maura looked back at Jane from the telescope and smiled so warmly she knew it could melt the cool Boston air. "Not in a creepy stalker possessive boyfriend type of way. You know, just, I mean, God, just be mine? I want you to be my girlfriend. Unless you don't want to, which is totally fine! " Maura shook her head and laughed gently at Jane's mannerisms. "You should probably forget I said anything.

"Jane, I'm already yours. Since I arrived here, I have been yours. These past couple of months I have been yours." Maura said softly and threaded her fingers through Jane's, leaning over Jane to give her a soft lingering kiss before turning her attention back to the sky with a content smile on her face, tugging Jane's arm gently to share with her what she was seeing.

Jane looked down at their interlocked fingers and looked back up gladly sighing, looking to the stars wordlessly thanking the guy that put them in the sky.

* * *

Maura dropped Jane back at her home, not before pulling her in for a long awaited kiss. Maura touched her lips softly to Jane's, who eagerly returned and smiled into the kiss. They broke away and Jane smiled shyly and pushed her glasses up her nose.

"I had a lovely time, Jane." Maura said softly.

"Me too. I mean I'm glad. I'm glad you had a good time, I mean. Like me. Who also had a good time. A fantastic time really-" Jane began to ramble and Maura silenced her with another kiss. This one deeper and searching, Jane moved her hands to cup Maura's face as their lips moved in sync against each other hungrily. When they broke apart they still breathing each other's air and Maura leaned her forehead against Jane's and sighed deeply with closed eyes.

"I've been absolutely spoiled with your presence this weekend, Jane." Maura said moving from her spot and looking and looking at Jane with bright eyes.

"I have too. With yours, I mean. Right," Jane started as a smile began to make its way on her face and blush creep up her neck. "Right, I should probably uh, head in. See you in school Monday, yeah? I'll call you. I will see you in school but i will also call you. Okay, bye." Jane said as she moved to exit the car.

"Goodnight, Jane."

"Night."

Maura pulled out from the driveway and started her way down the street towards Beacon Hill. Jane smiled as she made her way up her driveway and into her house.

"Wipe that smile off your face, we need to have a talk."

Jane scoffed and walked past her brother Frankie, not showing that she was actually glad it was her little brother and not her Father.

"We don't have to do anything. I don't have to do anything." Jane stated as she worked her way through the house making sure her parents were not up.

"I saw you, Janie. I'm 14, not stupid. I know what that was." Frankie said following her throughout the house careful not to wake his parents as well. He wasn't upset with Jane for who she was with, but more because she probably didn't feel safe releasing this information to share with him.

They had made their way into Jane's room by now, Frankie closing the door and lowering his voice more.

"Look, Frankie, you don't know anything, okay? You know absolutely nothing." Jane whispered feverishly back to Frankie who threw his hands up in irritation and answered back in a rushed whispered.

"I SAW you, Jane. I saw you kiss her. And I don't care, okay? I just- I just want you to be happy, okay? I'm your brother, and I care about you. If you're happy then fantastic. I thought we had a better relationship. Why didn't you tell me?" Frankie said huffing and plopping down on the bed and waited for Jane to reply.

"I'm sorry, it wasn't just you. It was mom and Pop, and even Tommy! I can't tell them Frankie. Pop, I think he already knows, or at least has an inkling, y'know? But I can't tell him. I just can't do that. And Ma-" Jane said, tears welling up in her eyes. She rubbed fervently at them and struggled to remain strong and impasse. "I can't" she finished with a tired and broken voice, desperately wishing she had Maura beside her.

"I know, you don't have to be strong all the time you know. This is hard and it's not fair, right?" He asked and Jane nodded and titled her head up trying to stop the tears that fell anyway.

"No, it's not fair. Do you think they would love me anyway?" Jane whispered out, although it sounded more like a choked sob.

Growing up in a strict devout catholic household had never been particularly easy. Jane broke the mold that she was supposed to be in. She like video games, watching baseball, hanging out with the boys. And what drove her mother crazy to no end, she hated dresses.

_I could deal with that, the being slightly different, I could put up with Ma__'__s complaints. But this?_

_**It sucks balls, yeah?**_

_Yeah. _

"They will always love you. They're our parents, right? They have to love us no matter what. It's in the job description." Frankie joked and Jane cracked a smile at his attempt to lighten the mood.

"Yeah it is, isn't it?" Jane managed to get out and Frankie smiled.

"I'm here for you and Maura. And I won't tell anybody, honest. Whenever you're ready, even if you're never ready, I'm here." Frankie said and put his hand on Jane's shoulder and gently squeezed. Jane put her hand on top of his and squeezed back gently before letting go.

"Thank you, brother. It means a lot to me." Jane said with s much sincerity in her voice, extremely grateful that she had Frankie as a brother. It had its upsides sometimes.

"No problem. I'm always gonna be here." He said before getting up and heading to his room, throwing a smile over his shoulder as he closed the door behind him.

Jane plopped back on her bed, picking up a pillow and groaning into it. She looked up to her ceiling greatly wishing she could remove the roof and look at the stars and wonder about who put them there.


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N:** Sorry this took so long, you guys. Just got finished with my first week o college and I already had so much work. I'll learn to manage my time better. Anywho, here is a new chapter. Hope you enjoy.

* * *

Jane had her head bent over the paper in front of her working furiously, looking back and forth between the Smart Board and her notes. The class was Visual Anatomy, which like most of her classes, Jane excelled at. It wasn't to hard truly. It was just learning the body's internal organs by placement and function, it was kind of like a puzzle to Jane. A very squishy, very pink puzzle.

"Anyone know the answer?" The teacher inquired, looking towards the class. Jane's hand went immediately in the air and half of the class groaned.

"Of course the nerd knows. Fucking four eyes." Some jock in the back of class scoffed while Jane rolled her eyes, keeping her head facing front.

_Honestly, so used to it by now. And who still uses the word 'nerd' as an insult? And four eyes? What is this, a joke? Simply unimaginative. _

"It's the duodenum." She answered monotonously and the teacher smiled appreciatively and nodded his head.

"Excellent, Jane. Looks like we know who will be ready for midterms in a couple of weeks." He stated and then turned his attention to the rest of the class. "You guys on the other hand better study up." He pointed at the class as the bell rang. The students hurriedly left the room grateful to not have to learn about small organs until tomorrow. Jane walked down the hallway and was greeted halfway down the hallway by Korsak and Frost, flanked on either side of her.

"'Sup, guys." She said casually and threw her arms over their shoulders. her mood immediately improved upon seeing her best friends. "How was class?"

"Ugh." The boys scoffed simultaneously and Jane laughed. The last thing on these guys' mind was school.

"That bad?" She questioned and was presented with a very

"Yeah, I mean, I can only handle so much Lord of the Flies." Frost said with apparent disdain and Korsak nodded his head in agreement and opened his mouth to begin what Jane knew was about to be a very dramatic display.

"Yeah, if I have to talk about the significance of fire anymore I swear I'm going to light myself on fire, honestly. You're stuck on an island? Of fucking course they're gonna need some fucking fire. Survival 101: build a fucking fire. They're stranded for God's sake. It's not that deep." Korsak finished his mini rant and Frost cosigned while Jane simply shook her head in disbelief.

_These guys. I sure know how to pick 'em._

Jane smiled as she saw an unforgettable figure make their way towards the group.

_Yeah, I sure do._

She dropped her hands from Frost and Korsak's shoulder and reached out towards the person in front of her.

"Hey, Maur." Jane stated and then bent down slightly to Maura's level to peck chastely on the lips and wrapped her arm around her waist.

"Hello, Jane. Barry, Vince." Maura said looking at the both of them. Frost gave a small smile and nodded while Korsak gave a huge warm smile throwing his arm over Maura's shoulder and giving her a side hug. The past few months Korsak and Maura's friendship grew into a very strong, very weird one.

"Mauraaaaa." Korsak sing-songed and Maura giggled and shook her head at his behavior.

"Vinceeee." Maura mimicked and Jane shook her head as they finally made their way to the front doors and entered the student parking lot.

"What am I gonna do with you guys?" Jane asked. Korsak shrugged his shoulders and grinned and Maura just laughed.

"You chose them." A new voice chimed in and Jane nodded in agreement.

"That I did, Frankie. You just now leaving class?" Jane asked and Frankie nodded his head.

"Yeah, had to get some help with an assignment." He said joining the group as they all made their way towards Jane's car.

"Oh, okay. If you need help I can help you." Jane offered as she slid into the front seat of the car and pulled out her car keys. She started up her car and made a mental note to check and change her oil when she glanced at the sticker on the inside of her windshield. the rest of the group filed into the car, girls in the front and guys in the back.

Jane dropped Frost and Korsak off at their respective homes first and then headed over Beacon Hill to Maura's house. Jane pulled into the driveway and put the car into park and Maura leaned over the console to kiss Jane's cheek. Jane immediately flushed at the action and Maura smiled.

"I'll call you tonight. See you at school."

"Okay. See you later, Maur." Maura gave one last look at Jane and the waved goodbye to Frankie. Jane looked at her retreating figure, making sure she got in the house safely. Frankie climbed over the console sitting in the passenger seat and turned towards Jane who had started backing out of the driveway. Frankie was looking at Jane inquisitively. Jane could feel his stare boring holes into her skull and she sighed heavily.

"What?" she snapped and he didn't even flinch.

"Do you love her?" He asked and Jane abruptly hit the brakes, thoroughly surprised by the question. Her and Maura had been dating for only a couple months now.

_Okay, where did that even come from? And surely that's too soon to go around dropping the L word right?_

_**Nah, you're just a wuss. Everyone should know love doesn't have a time limit. Well, obviously, except for you of course.**_

She shook her head and backed into the street. She started making her way from Beacon Hill and back towards her side of Boston.

"Love is a strong word, Frankie." Frankie scoffed at her and quirked an eyebrow.

"Yeah, I know. That's why I used it."

Jane knew exactly how she felt. She knew exactly what the flips her stomach does when she sees Maura means. She's not stupid, just scared not quite ready to admit it to herself yet. Jane slid her glasses up her nose and huffed as they came to a red light.

"Love is a strong word." She stated again, willing the light to turn green so that they could be home. Frankie just shook his head and a small smile played on his lips.

"That's why I used it."

* * *

Jane flopped on her bed and let out a heavy sigh, the conversation she had with Frankie still resonating in her head. Love most definitely was a strong word, but how would she describe how she felt. Really really _really_ like? That didn't aptly describe her feeling towards Maura. Jane also thought their relationship deserved more than that.

_What does he know anyway?_

_**He knows you're a flaming homosexual.**_

_This is true. I'll give him that._

Jane's phone buzzed with a notification. She reached over and saw that it was from Frost.

**Frost: COD?**

In lieu of a response she simply logged onto her PSN account and clicked on the game invitation Frost sent her. Jane put on her mic and her ears were immediately flooded with a conversation between Frost and Korsak.

"Black Ops this time, huh?"

"Yeah, you know, since Ghosts sucks." Frost responded and Jane scoffed loudly into the mic.

"Yeah, are you sure you aren't the one that sucks? May I instruct you over to the Leader Boards?" Jane stated while Korsak guffawed in the background.

"Why are you laughing, Korsak? You're just as bad as me!" Frost exclaimed. Korsak gasped and started to say something but Jane cut him off before he could say his spiel.

"So, what? Zombies?" She said hopefully and Frost went on to agree.

"Totally. I'm severely currently deprived of my pop culture zombies." Frost said as he started up a game for the party.

They were doing well and were playing on one accord until Korsak went and messed everything up. As usual.

"Korsak!" Frost and Jane yelled at the same time.

"What?!" he yelled into the mic and Jane cringed at the sudden noise elevation in her ears.

"First, lower your voice, dude. And second, why do you always open the door so early? None of us even have a ray gun yet and you're running around opening up doors as if zombies aren't behind them! I mean honestly!" Jane stressed, trying to get him to understand so that he wouldn't open another. Doors were always such a tricky thing in Nazi Zombies, if you opened them too earl, you would probably die early, too late and you miss out on the big weapons you would need in order to handle swarms. It's a hard knock life.

"Sorry! I thought we could handle it!" Korsak whined and Jane rolled her eyes as all three of them died and their screen with their scores and what round they were on popped up.

"Yeah we could definitely handle it." Jane teased. Frost laughed while Korsak just mumbled to himself. Frost was just about to began another game in Kino der toten when Jane felt a vibration.

She saw her phone light up and smiled at the name on the screen.

"Hey, guys, I gotta go. I'll see you both tomorrow, yeah?"

"Yeah." They answered simultaneously and Jane backed out of the game and shut off her console. After she did that she hurriedly brought the phone up to her ear smiling.

"Hey, beautiful." Jane rasped.

"Well hello there, gorgeous." Maura said, Jane hearing the smile in her voice.

"What's up?" Jane asked while picking up her recent Game Informer magazine and flipping through it.

"Nothing really, I recently finished all of my homework and I am now looking through my recent Doctormag magazine. You?" Maura asked and Jane shook her head at her girlfriend's nerdiness. Although, she really couldn't say much.

"Looking through my recent game informer magazine. Says quite a bit about us, huh?"

"That we enjoy learning more and studying up on topics that interest us?" Maura asked.

"Yeah, precisely that." Jane said in a teasing manner and Maura laughed lightly into the phone. Jane's door opened and she groaned.

"Get out of my room, Tommy." Jane said, to which he dutifully ignored her request and plopped on the edge of his sister's bed.

"Who you talking to? One of your boyfriends?" He questioned and reached for her phone and Jane slapped his hand away. Little brothers could be the most irritating people in the world.

"Hold on, Maur." Jane said and brought her phone down from her ear and then reached to push Tommy off the bed. He dodged, grabbing Jane's phone and spoke into it.

"Hey, Maura. Tommy here. The hotter Rizzoli." He stated and Jane punched him in the arm and grabbed her phone back. Her door opened again and she groaned again. Not ready for a double team.

"Alright, funs over, Tommy. Ma wants you." Frankie said and Tommy rolled his eyes, walking out of the room grumbling to himself. Frankie smiled as he watched him leave and Jane gave a sigh of relief. He could really be such a hassle sometimes.

"Did Ma really want him?"

"Nah. But I heard the ruckus and thought you could use some help. If he tries to come back I'll keep him out." Frankie said and Jane gave a small smile as he headed for the door.

"Hey, Frankie?" he stopped with his hand on the door, turning around and raising an eyebrow in question. "Thanks for everything."

"No thanks needed, sis. Anytime." he stated and then left the room, quietly shutting the door behind him.

Jane looked back at her phone sand saw that Maura was still on the line. She smiled as she brought the phone back up to her ear and spoke into it.

"You're a trooper, Maur. Sorry about all of that. Tommy was being an ass."

"Of course I'm still here, Jane. No apologies needed. Is he still there?"

"Nah, Frankie came in and saved me. My hero." Jane said and Maura laughed into the phone.

"Yeah, he is pretty sensational isn't he?" Maura inquired and Jane scoffed.

"Sensational is a pretty strong word to describe him." Jane said rolling her eyes, wishing Maura could see the look on her face.

"That's why I used it."


	10. Chapter 10

:)

* * *

"I hate this." A beat passed, "I really hate this." A single beat. "I _really_ fucking hate this."

"Oh my God, Korsak. We get it. You hate it." Jane groaned, slapping her pen on her notebook and looking at her friend. "What do you need help with?" Jane stressed and looked at him with her eyebrow quirked.

Frost, Korsak and Jane were all sitting in Maura's bedroom studying for their midterms. Jane and Maura were bent over their textbooks while Frost was taking a break playing the Kim Kardashian game on his phone, thinking no one would notice, and Korsak was trying to focus on his work. Trying and failing. They had midterms in a couple of days and they were all trying to study up, making sure that they don't fail. Which was proving to be a struggle for the boys.

"It's just this freaking Chem. I don't understand. And after this I'm gonna have to take a look at my English. I still don't get the symbolism of a fire. It's just a fire, right? I'm still not over that fucking fire." Korsak lamented and Jane walked over to look at what her friend was working on. Jane began to read through the problem and got bored about halfway through. Maura noticed Jane's silence and shook her head at her girlfriend.

"I can help you, Vince." Maura said, putting her pen down softly and leaving her position from her desk to look at his work.

"Thanks, Maura. Thanks for nothing, Jane." Korsak smirked and Jane rolled her eyes at him. She at least tried, she couldn't help being bored close to tears.

"Ah, please. Maura didn't give me a chance. And Frost didn't even try to help. He's too busy being a D lister." Jane baited.

"Hey now!" Hook and sinker. "Zip it! This is very important to me. I refuse to let Willow Pape bring me down. Plus, I just made the C list." Frost stressed without even looking up from his screen. Jane just shook her head and went back to studying her Anatomy. It looked like Korsak was finally getting a handle on his Chem work, if his outburst said anything about it.

"Ha! Take that, Chemistry! I'm about to make this exam my bitch!" He yelled and began furiously working on the next problem in his review.

"Nice job, Maura. You've created a monster." Jane said teasingly.

"Never underestimate the power of science."

"Me? Why I would never." Jane teased and Maura playfully glared at Jane before turning back to her work.

There was a knock on the door and Maura gave a faint "come in" not looking up from her notes. The door opened and Esmeralda walked in with a silver platter in tow.

"I come bearing gifts." She said and set the platter of food on the table. The guys hurried and headed straight for the food, quickly welcoming the break, as if they were actually working in the first place. Jane cleared her throat and the guys looked up ashamed upon looking at Jane's unamused face.

"Thank you, Esme." They said and Jane smiled at them as if she were a proud mother.

"Good boys." Jane teased and they both stuck their tongues out at her and then went back to their food.

_Children._

**_I'm sorry, and what does that make you?_**

_The leader of the children. Like Tommy Pickles. Ha, yeah. I'm basically Tommy Pickles._

**_But wouldn't that be more Maura? _**

_Please, let me dream for awhile, okay?_

_**Right**._

"Thank you, Esmeralda. I appreciate it." Maura said turning around from her work and smiled warmly. Esme waved her off, letting her know that it was no big deal.

"Anything for my favorite group of kids. Study hard." Esme said turning around and shutting the door behind her.

"You want anything, Maura?" Jane asked and Maura shook her head in lieu of a verbal response and went back to her studies. Jane headed over and grabbed a finger sandwich to nibble on and brought one over to Maura.

"C'mon, Maur. You need to eat. We've been working for a long time. You're the science person, you know the body works better with fuel." Jane said as she put the tiny sandwich in Maura's hand.

"Well I should hope you aren't putting gasoline in your body. But regardless, thank you." She said gratefully and took a bite into the sandwich.

"Seriously, Simon? I JUST got done with an 8 hour shoot. This is ridiculous." Frost griped and Korsak snorted.

"Dude, you're so lame."

"Give me a break. Go back to your science." Frost voiced aggravated. Korsak huffed and went back to pretending he was a world renowned chemist.

"Hey, Maur. What subject are you on now?" Jane said walking over to Maura and leaned over her shoulder to catch a glimpse on the sheets she was working on.

"I just began AP Biology. Why? Does 'O great Jane Rizzoli need help with her studies?" Maura teased and Jane recoiled back aghast at such a statement. Jane Rizzoli? Asking for help? Oh what a sight to be seen.

"Me? Oh, never! I just started AP Bio too. I just wanted to know what the majority of the exam was gonna be on. Do you know?" Jane inquired and Maura smirked at her girlfriend, amused by her asking for help.

"Mainly on the latest chapters we've covered. Not so much on basic cells. Probably one or two questions at best." Maura answered and Jane smiled appreciatively and kissed her loudly on the cheek.

"Thanks, babe. You da best. Don't really wanna have to do more studying than I have to." Jane said and walked back to her spot on Maura's bed and attempted to get back to work. Which of course failed.

_I don't know why I even asked. It's not like I'm gonna actually attempt it._

"Hey, this game is pretty addicting." Korsak stated, apparently not on his science high anymore. He had began playing the Kim Kardashian game under Frost's obviously bad influence.

_It's an epidemic. The world needs help._

**_Oh please. Don't pretend like you weren't tempted to see what all the fuss is about._**

_I must remain strong._

"I told you. It's great huh? I just figured out some cheats for it. I can help you out. Get you A list faster. I actually can't believe I didn't think to hack it in the first place." Frost said excitedly, obviously all game to use his hacking skills.

"Could you? Oh man I'm so excited. Looks like they are teaching you something helpful in your programming class." Korsak said and eagerly handed his phone over to Frost.

"Yeah the class is pretty great actually. I like it a lot." Frost said as he began working away on Korsak's phone.

"Is Kim Kardashian even considered A list? I mean, yeah she has a show and everyone knows her, but what does she really have going for her?" Jane asked baffled. Frost looked at her like she had grown two heads.

"Please, don't ever speak to me like that again. It's vile, it's disrespectful. Please show Kim some respect." Jane quirked an eyebrow at his outburst. Speaking of Kim Kardashian in such high regard? It must be the ass, there is no other explanation.

_He must not know who the true reigning queen is. Somebody__'__s gotta tell him._

"But is she Beyoncé? Okay then." Jane tossed back and Frost sat back shocked and then nodded slowly in agreement. Never cross Queen Bey.

"You're right. I can't fight that. You win. Beyoncé is queen." He mock bowed and Jane snickered.

"Thank you." Jane said taking on a horribly inaccurate regal british accent.

"Doesn't hurt that Beyoncé is also hotter than Kim." Korsak interjected, looking up from his phone for the first time since Frost had given him his phone back. That game needs it's own version of AA.

"You're right, my friend. You're right. Never hurts." Jane agreed to which Maura cleared her throat and glared at Jane. Jane got up and walked over to her girlfriend plopped heavily onto her lap, capturing her lips between hers softly.

"But of course no one beats my beautiful girlfriend." Jane said trying to acquiesce Maura. Maura rolled her eyes at her girlfriend's poor attempt at an apology.

"Nice try. Now go finish your review." Jane groaned and nestled her head in Maura's neck and pouted. The last ting Jane wanted to do was go back to studying.

"Ugh, no. No more studying. I just want winter break already. Also I want nap time." She groaned while closing her eyes pretending to sleep and Maura giggled.

"Just a few more days and then we're on break. You can make it, Jane, I assure you." Maura offered and Jane just shook her head and grumbled as she got up to go back to her work. She plopped heavily on the bed and went on to give a very dramatic display to convey how much she really didn't want to study.

"You're starting to sound a lot like Vince and Barry now, Jane." Maura tossed at Jane to which both of the boys gasped at.

"Hey, what's that supposed to mean?" Frost exclaimed.

"I only meant the strong aversion to do work." Maura amended, however, this did not seem to appease them.

"We do work! I'm actually working right now. I'm on my way to a photo shoot Kim recommended me for after my energy is back up." Korsak stated proudly, as if he were legitimately working his way up the A list. There was a knocking on Maura's door, again, Maura told the person to come in. The door opened and Desmond Isles walked in, glancing at all of the papers and notebooks haphazardly on the ground.

"How's the studying coming, Kids?" Desmond asked and Jane, Korsak and Frost groaned in sync while Maura laughed at their reactions. They had been studying for hours on end, their brains were just about fried.

"Don't mind them. Things are going well, thanks for asking." Maura said and Desmond smiled at their apparent disdain.

"That's good. I'm actually here for Jane. Jane, may I borrow you for a moment?" He asked and Jane swallowed a nervous lump in her throat and followed Desmond out of the door.

"You can relax. Hopefully what we're about to do will help you relax actually. I know it's something you enjoy." He said as he lead her into the basement.

"You're not gonna like, kill me down here are you, sir?" Jane asked shakily. Desmond guffawed and patted Jane on the shoulder.

"No, Jane. And enough with the 'sir'. I just thought you would take me up on that jam session you promised me a while back. Sound good?" He smirked at the obvious relief on Jane's body as her shoulders sagged.

"Sounds amazing." Jane said and Desmond motioned her to sit at the piano as he picked up a beautiful acoustic guitar.

"Do you play anything other than the piano, Jane?" He queried as he tuned the guitar to his liking. Tuning by ear, a skill many musicians covet.

"I do happen to play a little guitar, I sing a little as well. And of course my love the piano." She stated as her fingers ghosted the piano keys and she took a deep breath.

"It is a lovely instrument. So, a triple threat, huh? Why don't you play a melody and I'll play to your lead, okay?" He said as he strummed the keys and nodded in approval. Jane agreed and let her fingers do the work for her.

Jane breathed in and out and soon all her nerves washed away. she started out with a soft ambient melody, she could hear the strings from Mr. Isles guitar and she smiled to herself in approval, he picked up on the mood she was emitting immediately. It was smooth, emotional, searching. And she had one thing, or rather person, in mind. Maura. Which wasn't surprising. She was thinking about how she felt about Maura, she was thinking about how people treated Maura in the past simply because of her intelligence and because she was different. She was thinking about how she felt. Her fingers played a smooth transition into a soft melody and she started singly softly.

_She gave it all, you gave her shit_

_She coulda done, just anything_

_Or anyone, cause she's a goddess_

_You never got this_

Jane hit the keys a little stronger, with a little more emotion, with a little more of something to say. She had something she wanted to convey and she was going to get it out if it reduced her to ashes. If that's what it took, she would do it a hundred times over. There was something about having a burning desire to make your emotions into art. It was what artists lived on, that burning desire, that need to make something out of nothing.

_You put her down, you liked her hopeless_

_To walk around, feeling unnoticed_

_You shoulda crowned her, cause she's a goddess_

_You never got this_

Jane noticed faintly the guitar fade away, but that didn't stop her. She was still searching for that relief. That weight off of her shoulders, the disdain she felt for everyone who ever made her and people like feel hopeless and unnoticed. She was angry and she was tired of being angry. Even if no one heard her, the sound she produced would but any unease to rest. The sound could afford her some peace. That was the thing about some musicians. Sometimes you don't find the peace while you're playing, sometimes it only comes when you're all done. When you hit that last key it's as if the entire world melts away and then fills itself back up in a way that makes complete sense. It was food to their soul and music to the listeners ears.

_Now you gotta deal with this glitch on your shoulder_

_Fucking with a goddess and you get a little colder_

_Yea it's colder, colder_

_Fucking with a goddess, and you get a little colder_

_Finally surfaced above doubts_

_Feeling above this, she came around_

_Cause she's a goddess, finally saw this_

_And now you're back, trying to claim her_

_Cause she's gone and now without her_

_You're all alone, cause she's a goddess_

_You shoulda saw this_

There it was. The relief. The relief that she felt after she hit the last key, the relief she felt when she felt that she said what she needed to say. Jane knew that Maura was amazing, she knew that her friends were amazing, and she was beginning to feel like she was amazing to. And people should notice, people should have noticed. They didn't, and now Jane knows it's their loss. The feeling of weightlessness she felt almost brought her to tears. She brought her hands down from the piano and pulled off her black frames to wipe at a few threatening tears and let out a satisfied sigh.

_She__'__s a goddess. Maura. She's amazing._

_**And you got it. Even if nobody else gets it, you do. And that**__**'**__**s worth something. Those other people, they**__**'**__**re not deserving.**_

"Well, I'll be damned." Desmond said in awe as he put his guitar down and went to sit down next to Jane on the bench, "You only sing a little, is that right? So modest. You've go something good, Jane. You've got something really good." He finished and Jane gave a slight watery smile.

"Thank you." She choked out, still overwhelmed by what she was feeling.

"And I'm glad you notice it too." Desmond stated as he moved from the bench and gave Jane's shoulder a squeeze. Jane looked back at him with confusion painting her features.

"Notice what?" Jane asked, although she had a clue that he knew precisely what she was aiming for when she sang the song, that he knew who she was talking about.

"Maura. She's an amazing girl isn't she? You're good for each other." He paused while smiling softly at Jane who gladly returned it. "And please, do us all a favor and do something with that sound of yours, Jane. You're very talented and the world could use that. Don't let it go to waste." He concluded and left the room and headed up the stairs, leaving Jane in the music room by herself. Jane leet the entire situation stir inside of her. It seems like everyone has been trying to tell her something she should already know. Or rather get her to accept something she already knows.

Moments later Jane heard soft footsteps enter the room and felt arms wrap around her. Jane leaned back into the embrace and sighed contently. She was at peace.

"What did my Father want? He didn't interrogate you or anything did he?" Maura asked with a slight jest in her tone. Jane laughed quietly as she gently grabbed Maura's palm and placed a soft kiss there.

"Nah, he just wanted to get a little something out of me I think."

"Oh? And did he succeed?" Jane thought this over and nodded gently. She stood up, wrapping her arm around Maura's waist and they walked out of the music room.

"Yeah, I think he did."

* * *

Song: Goddess by Banks. I really love the song. Give it a listen.


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N:** Fuck Philosophy homework. Enjoy this. Don't hate me.

* * *

They were a couple of days into their winter break and Maura and Jane, unsurprisingly, spent most of it together. That meant staying inside to beat of the harsh elements and watching movies and Netflix. This was all a welcomed change from the week of testing they had to endure.

"Jane, we've watched The Avengers numerous times. Do we really have to watch it again?" Maura asked and Jane pouted as she put the disk back on the shelf.

"What do you want to watch?" Jane relented. "Not a documentary, please." Jane whined.

"I know I'm smart, Jane. That does not mean I sit around and watch documentaries on the human genome all the time." Maura huffed and Jane threw her hands up in surrender.

"Sorry, Maur. Didn't mean it like that. I know there's more to you than science." Jane said walking over to her girlfriend and pecking her lightly on the lips in apology. They both leaned back and Jane smirked while Maura rolled her eyes. "But seriously, what do you want to watch?"

"Frozen." Maura gushed and let a smile spill onto her face.

"Seriously?"

"Yes." Jane stared at her for a moment before a huge smile broke onto her face.

"Fantastic choice. The music score is gold." Jane said excitedly reaching for the case on the shelf and popping it into the DVD player. Jane quickly crossed the room and hopped back in bed with Maura and wrapped her arms around her. Maura snuggled in further and inhaled didn't smell like the way they describe people in love stories. She didn't smell like dandelions and home. She smelled like her Degree Men's sports defense deodorant and her strawberry shampoo. Maura loved it.

"I love the way you smell." Maura said focusing her eyes back on the television watching the previews play on the screen.

Jane snorted in response "Thanks, I do so try my best."

"You succeed." Maura breathed.

They watched the title sequence play out on the screen and Jane knocked five times on the nightstand, looking over and beaming at Maura who returned the smile, wordlessly communicating for the upcoming duet.

"Maura," Jane started in a high pitched voice. "do you wanna build a snowman? C'mon let's go and play! I never see you anymore, come out the door, it's like you've gone away!" Jane said while jumping off of the bed and dragging Maura with her, the both of them dancing along to the music. Jane nodded at Maura who smiled and opened her mouth to add on.

"We used to be best buddies, and now we're not, I wish you would tell me why!" Maura sang and Jane threw back her head and laughed in pure joy of the moment. "Do you want to build a snowman?" Maura asked Jane and then leaned up to mock whispered in her ear, "it doesn't have to be a snowman!" she finished and Jane laughed and lightly pushed on Maura's shoulder.

"Go away, Maura!"

"Okay, bye…" Maura said, pretending to feel dejected as she plopped back on the bed. Jane laughed after her and took her original spot on the bed as well.

after Frozen finished playing—which took a little longer than usual it seemed—possibly due to them constantly breaking out into song, Jane spoke up.

"Now I'm in a musical mood." Jane said getting up from her position.

"Me also," Maura started and thought for a moment, "How about Rent?" she finished excitedly.

Jane turned around slowly with a look of upmost awe on her face, mouth agape.

"You..you like Rent?" Jane said slowly pushing up her glasses and Maura quirked and eyebrow and smiled goofily.

"Of course, it's a fantastic movie. Plus there's Idina Menzel. And you can never go wrong with Idina Menzel." Maura all but gushed and Jane shook herself out of shock.

"A woman after my own heart." Jane whispered and wiped a fake tear away as she turned around and put a disk in. Maura rolled her eyes and laughed at her girlfriend.

After she did that, instead of rejoining Maura she turned around with her arms folded across her chest.

"What do you think about Wicked?" Jane urged.

"Love it, what's not to love about a movie that is basically a college alternate universe of the Wizard of Oz?"

"West Side Story."

"Fantastic."

"Rocky Horror Picture Show."

"Gold."

"Phantom of the Opera."

"Is that even a question?"

"Jesus," Jane started as she began walking back towards Maura, sighing loudly and contently as she wrapped her arms around her, "You're amazing. Why didn't I know that you watched musicals?" Jane questioned and Mara just laughed as she shook her head.

"Musicals are artistic masterpieces. I thoroughly enjoy and appreciate them. I've seen many Broadway musicals." Maura answered as Seasons of Love played out on the screen.

Jane hummed along to the song and eventually begin to sing softly as the song progressed.

_It's time now, to sing out_

_Though the story never ends_

_Let's celebrate_

_Remember a year in the life of friends_

* * *

"Okay! Okay! Cease fire!" Frost yelled and the rest of the gang kept throwing snow balls at him.

"Never!" Korsak yelled and went behind he snow fort to make another slew of snowballs. Just then Frankie and Tommy came outside and looked at Frost on the ground and then back at korsak, Jane, and Maura.

"Tommy, Frankie! Help!" frost yelled and a mischievous grin broke out onto both of they faces and they went to work making snowballs and slugging them across the yard.

"Traitors!" Jane yelled at her brothers and attempted to dodge the snow coming towards her. Jane saw Tommy making a big snowball and saw his eyes trained on Maura.

"No!" Jane yelled and jumped in front of Maura. The snowball hit her right square in the chest. She fell to the ground and opened one eye and coughed dramatically.

"Go one without me. Tell the kids I love them." Jane said dramatically looking at Maura's face and let her hand fall heavily to the ground. Maura tried to suppress her giggles as she answered back to Jane.

"I'll be strong. For the children."

Korsak ran over to Jane and took off his hat and held it to his heart.

"She was a brave soldier. The sacrifices she made for her country will not be forgotten." Korsak said sighing heavily putting his hat back on his head. Just then the front door opened and Mama Rizzoli stepped out.

"Kids, I made hot chocolate!"

Jane immediately sprung up and bolted towards the house excitedly, Korsak hot on her heels.

"Yes! Hot chocolate!" Jane exclaimed while Ma Rizzoli rolled her eyes at her eldest child and turned around back into the house, knowing she would probably have to make more just because of Jane and Korsak. All of the kids filed into the house and sat around in the living room with the television on and hot chocolate in hands. Jane sat down next to Maura who propped her legs onto Jane's lap. Frost, Korsak and Frankie sat on the floor around the television and Tommy sat in the recliner.

Jane picked up the remote and begin absentmindedly flipping through the channels.

"What do you guys want to watch?" Jane asked and answers shouted at her.

"The Polar Express!"

"Nightmare Before Christmas!"

"Grandma Got Ran Over by a Reindeer!"

Jane rolled her eyes and lolled her head in Maura's direction.

"What do you wanna watch, Maur?" Jane asked.

"Whatever is fine by me." Jane thought this over and came to an executive decision.

"Let's go with The Polar Express." Jane said and went on Netflix and chose the movie.

At some point in the movie Mama Rizzoli came in the living room with cookies and set the on the table for the kids. Thanking her as they dug in and continued to watch the movie.

Maura changed her position and was tucked under Jane's arm. Jane brought the blanket that was resting on the back of the couch and used it to cover her and Maura. Soon after, Maura's eyes began to drift shut. Jane smiled as she watched Maura try to fight the sleep in order to watch the movie. She lost.

_This is a nice day._

_**Yeah, it is. **_

Jane heard the door open and saw her Pop walk past the living room.

_Or it was a nice day._

He paused briefly and looked towards Jane who slapped on the brightest smile.

"Hey, Pop." She stage whispered in an attempt not to wake Maura and not to disturb the movie. Frank Sr. nodded and gave a tight lipped smile.

"Hey, Janie." Frank said and continued to look at her. Jane began getting nervous under her Father's stare. That was when Angela came to Frank and smiled over at Jane warmly, leading her Father away and to the kitchen.

"Come on, Frank. Tell me about your day." As her parents turned around and headed for the kitchen Jane let out a breath of relief. Frost looked back at her knowingly and offered her a supportive smile while Frankie leaned over from his position and patted his sister on the back. Jane smiled in thanks at the two and rolled her eyes at Tommy and Korsak who were both still engrossed in the movie.

Jane heard a buzzing noise and looked over to the side table and looked over to see Maura's phone buzzing with a call from her Father. She glanced over at Maura to see her still sound asleep and answered her phone, speaking in a whisper as not to wake Maura up.

"Hey, Mr. Isles, It's Jane."

"Ah! Jane, how are you?" He questioned.

"I'm fine. Watching a movie with everyone. Did you need Maura?"

"Yes actually. Her Mother wants her home. Would you mind telling her?"

"You got it, Mr. Isles."

"Thank you, Jane. Have a good evening." Jane gave a quick "you too" before locking Maura's phone back and turning her attention back to her.

_She looks so cute and peaceful. I don't wanna wake her up._

_**Sucks.**_

Jane rolled her eyes and gently began running her fingers through Maura's hair attempting to rouse her from her sleep.

"Maur? Maura wake up." Jane whispered gently. Maura opened her eyes slightly only to close them back and nestle farther into Jane.

"No."

Jane giggled and continued to run her fingers through her hair, which probably wasn't helping much.

"Yes. Your parents want you home. You gotta wake up." Jane said and Maura groaned softly. she sat up with her eyes still closed and paused. opening her eyes she saw the boys still watching the almost finished movie intensely and smiled at them.

Maura yawned and looked to Jane.

"Okay, I better get going then." Maura began grabbing her phone and keys and looking around for her coat which Jane handed to her. She smiled appreciatively and headed towards the front door. Jane followed her out to her car and bent down to her levee once she was settled in.

"You want me to follow you there in my car? Make sure you get home safe?" Jane asked worriedly and Maura leaned up to kiss her. She took her bottom lip into hers and leaned back after a few moments, caressing Jane's cheek.

"I'll be fine."

"Okay. But be careful. Watch out for black ice. Drive slow. Watch out for-"

"Jane, I'll be fine." Maura stated again smiling at her protective and worried girlfriend.

"Okay. Okay. Be safe and text me when you get home." She leaned down to kiss her again. She almost said those three words, deciding against it she closed Maura's door and watched her back away, giving her one last smile before heading back in.

She swallowed down her worry and headed back in the room with the boys, sans Tommy, who probably headed back up to his room, and sat down with them. They were watching a new movie and were nursing fresh cups of hot chocolate.

"Welcome back to the world." Korsak teased and Jane punched him lightly in the arm and laughed.

"Thanks. What're we watching?"

"Elf!" Frankie answered and turned his attention back to the screen.

After the movie was over, Korsak and Frost decided to head to their respective homes. A little after they left, Frank Sr. walked to the living room opening and motioned for Jane to follow him. He walked back to the kitchen as Jane got up quietly and followed behind silently.

"Yeah, Pop?" She said at the kitchen opening, looking at him with hesitance.

"Sit down." He stated gruffly and Jane slowly sat down in the seat.

"Yeah?"

"Anything you wanna tell me, Janie?" he asked and Jane fought to keep her expression stoic.

"Not particularly, no." She managed and folded her arms across her chest.

"Now listen-" Frank was cut off by Jane's buzzing phone. She took it out her pocket without looking at her father and answered.

"Hello?"

"Jane? It's Desmond."

"Mr. Isles? What's up?" Jane asked, her heart pounding in her chest.

"it's Maura. We're at the hospital. There's been an accident."

And in that moment it felt as if Jane's world came crashing down around her.

* * *

**A/N:** My finger slipped.


	12. Chapter 12

"You aren't leaving this house." A voice that sounded so far away brought Jane back from her shock.

_What?_

This isn't the man that Jane grew up with. This isn't themas that Jane had looked up to for so many years. This was a man that was bitter and filled with hate for some unknown reason. Her Father wouldn't tell her not to go see her best friend while she laid hurt in the hospital. This wasn't the same man who taught her how to play baseball and made sure she knew simple handyman things. No, this was a different man, and she wanted her Father back.

"Excuse me?" Jane managed to sputter out. She began to slowly stand up in spite of his statement, keeping a hand on the table to keep herself from falling over. She felt so off balance. She lately always felt off balance around him. Being in the same room as him drained her, knowing that someone doesn't accept you, or would't love you, yet you had to see them every single day was exhausting. it was exhausting to waste your time loving someone who wouldn't love you back.

"You heard me." Jane began shaking her head back and forth unbelieving of what was coming out of his mouth. This definitely wasn't the same man.

"I'm leaving. I'm going to make sure that my best friend, who is in the freaking hospital, is okay. I am going to stay there as long is it takes. And you aren't going to stop me." Jane said and slowly turned around, heading towards the front door.

"I know about you and Maura, Jane. I'm not stupid. I can see. Your mother and I didn't raise you that way. I will not condone it and I won't be in the presence of it." Frank Sr. stood fuming behind Jane, as if his words mattered any more to her than they had a moment ago. He grabbed her arm stopped her from opening up the door. She turned around slowly and stared him straight in the eyes.

"Then leave."

And with that, Jane walked out into the unforgiving cold, got in her car, and drove off.

* * *

Jane ran into the hospital and frantically looked for the receptionists desk. Once she saw it, she jogged up to it accidentally slamming her hands down, which startled the nurse.

"Maura Isles, please tell me where she is."

"Jane!" Desmond called over and Jane looked hurriedly over her shoulder, and looked at his face. He looked tired, and his eyes were sad, but not necessarily worried. That was a good sign.

"Where is she? Is she okay?"

"She's fine." Desmond said giving a small smile before continuing. "Nothing too bad. She has a couple minor lacerations and a deeper one on her thigh, as well as a broken leg. But she will be fine. She's in surgery right now." Jane felt her shoulders sag in relief.

_She__'__ll be okay. She__'__ll be okay. She__'__ll be okay._

"What happened?"

"She hit some ice wrong." Jane nodded and sat down in a nearby chair. She pulled her legs up into her face and breathed deeply.

"I knew I should've followed her home. She didn't want me too, I should've done it anyway." Desmond was shaking his head before Jane could even finish the sentence. He put an arm around Jane.

"None of this is your fault." Jane initially stiffened at the contact before relaxing and accepting the gesture. He made her comfortable.

"Okay." Jane said before noticing that there was one person missing. "Where is Mrs. Isles?"

"She went to the cafeteria to get some coffee that she's most likely just going to complain about."

Jane smiled a little at this, comforted by Mr. Isles calming presence and the familiarity of the way he speaks, always in a light jest. Jane hadn't gotten to feel that for some time. A home starts to stop feeling like a home when you're worried your own parents may not even think you belong there. When someone who raised you for the entirety of your life might stop loving you solely because of who you started loving. None of that seemed right to Jane, none of that seemed fair.

"Jane." Mrs. Isles said as she walked down the hallway. Jane gave her a smile and registered her current state. Her eyes looked tired, and her usually straight posture drooped ever so slightly. Barely noticeable, but when someone is usually so very put together it's easy to tell when they begin falling apart.

"Hey, Mrs. Isles. Coffee any good?" Knowing the answer as she asked it, she laughed at the face Constance pulled.

"It's absolutely repulsive. I don't know why I even bothered."

"I told you all she was going to do was complain, Jane." Mr. Isles interjected, laughing heartily at his wife's expression.

This is what they all needed. A little bit of peace. Jane thought that was good to laugh.

To laugh and laugh until she laughed herself into a better place in a better time.

* * *

"Mr. and Mrs. Isles?" That's what the doctor said, in the same voice that you see in every single medical show. Showing just enough emotion, but not too much. The Doctor was saying something, but Jane wasn't paying too much attention.

She was too busy watching their faces.

Words are almost like food, a 5 course meal at a french restaurant smack dab in the middle of Paris. They filled you with something. They tasted like something.

Jane wondered what the doctor's words tasted like in Mr. and Mrs. Isles mouths. She wondered if people paid attention to the taste words seemed to have, she wondered if people listened closely to words coming out of people's mouths.

She wondered is anyone else noticed how a person's voice could literally be music to your ears, the way she felt about Maura. The Isles' probably did.

"Jane?" Desmond Isles asked nervously, noticing that Jane had been staring off into space, seemingly not paying attention to anything.

She was really just paying attention to everything. Maybe to too much.

"Sorry. What did the doctor say?" Mr. Isles gave her one last look of concern before answering her question.

"She's out of surgery, they said that it went splendidly. We'll all be able to see her soon. Maybe a couple hours or so they said. She needs to rest." He finished and Jane nodded her head.

Those words tasted hopeful. We'll all be able to see her soon. As if she was apart of their family.

_**They love you.**_

_I know._

Jane loved them. Mr. and Mrs. Isles, Maura. Love usually felt like something Jane had to carry around like a burden, making sure to never disappoint those who gave it to her. It frightened her. She often didn't like to give affection or to receive it. Especially hugs. However, with the Isles', it didn't feel like a burden. It didn't feel like a weight she had to carry.

_That__'__s why I was so afraid isn__'__t it?_

_**You aren**__**'**__**t a disappointment, you don**__**'**__**t have to feel like Atlas with the world on your shoulders because people love you. You don**__**'**__**t have to be anyone but yourself. Just love them back.**_

_I guess it__'__s just that simple._

It was a terrible thing, to fight a war by yourself. It destroys you on the inside because you are your only enemy. That was what Jane was doing. She was fighting a war all by herself, at lear it felt that way. Everyday when she had to wake up in a house that screamed so many things using silence, it was destroying her. She wasn't going to let it destroy her anymore. She wasn't going to be a casualty of war.

It wasn't in that moment, it had been months leading up to this. From meeting Maura, to being friends with her, to being her girlfriend. From Korsak and Frost, her brothers, her mom. It was all of those people in her life that gave her love. They weren't waiting to see her fail, they weren't expecting anything from her. She just had to love them back. She didn't have to be Atlas.

She fell asleep in the uncomfortable hospital chair with a smile on her face.

* * *

"Jane." Jane felt a hand gently shaking her, she opened her eyes slowly and remembered where she was.

"What time is it?" Jane questioned trying to get her bearings, she rubbed the back of her neck, stiff from sleeping in the chair upright.

"A little past midnight." It was a new voice that answered that time. Mr. Isles.

"Maura's awake. You want to see her?" He asked he Jane immediately felt like cold water got splashed on her face. Maura.

"I don't want to impose. You guys go ahead."

"We already did, she wants to see you now. Go see your girlfriend before she grows impatient." Constance stated with a smile and rolled her eyes at Jane. Jane smiled sheepishly and headed around the corner to the door where Maura was. She walked in and saw Maura hooked up to and IV drip and her leg elevated with a cast on it. She had a couple of cuts on her face and arms, and a thick bandage around her left thigh, the opposite leg the cast was on.

"Maur.." Maura smiled the biggest and most beautiful smile at Jane, and she almost couldn't believe it was for her. Her smile began to slowly fall from her face. That's the things with smiles, they were fleeting.

"I'm so sorry." Jane said as she walked over to Maura and gently grabbed her hand. "I'm so sorry." She said again, as if once wasn't enough. She needed her to know. She felt Maura wipe away the tears she didn't know were falling with a concerned face.

"Jane, what on Earth are you sorry for?" She spoke and Jane's breath hitched. She missed it, even though it had only been about half a day without hearing it.

"That this happened to you. I should have been there. I could have done something." Maura stopped her by bringing Jane down to her level and giving her a soft, slow, languid kiss. Jane moved a hand to cup Maura's cheek and kissing her back with all she had.

Maura broke the kiss and wiped away the tears on Jane's face. They wouldn't stop coming.

"Look at me Jane, I may be broken and bruised a little bit, but I am absolutely fine. None of this is your fault. I drove onto some black ice wrong, that's all. I'm still here, I am perfectly okay." Maura stressed.

Jane had tears rushing down her face as she looked at Maura, who had some of her own. She smiled a wet smile.

"Baby I-" she started and took a deep breath, "Baby, I love you." She started laughing as this realization washed over her. "I love you." She said again. She felt as though her heart would burst from the pure unadulterated joy she was feeling right now. Jane would say it forever, every second of everyday if it would always feel like this, if that's what it took. Jane knew that she would knock down every single boundary now that she knew what she had found.

"And I know I'm just some stupid, very stupid 17 year old girl who knows nothing about anything, let along life or love. A girl who knows everything and nothing and who stutters and is a nerd who built her walls up 10 feet high and sometimes says all of the wrong things." Jane stopped and laughed while Maura gave a tearful smile. "But I am a stupid 17 year old girl that loves video games and superheroes and who is also absolutely in love with you." Jane finished and wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. She wasn't afraid that 4 months was not enough time. She just wasn't afraid anymore.

As she lowered her hands Maura grabbed ahold of them and looked Jane into the eyes and smiled a smile so soft and so warm she could feel her heart melting. Maura let go of Jane's hands and opted to take Jane's face in both hands and whispered with ever ounce of reverence, "I love you too."


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N**: I am...trash. A lot of stuff happened and, anyways, I won't get into it. Enjoy!

* * *

_In my __symbolized world I'm a beautiful girl_

_In my house on the hill there is room for you still_

_When there__'__s nothing but darkened sound_

_I will be beside you_

_When there__'__s nothing but the long way round_

_I will be beside you_

_In my simplified world we're a boy and a girl_

_In my house on the hill there is room for you still_

_I__'__ll be everywhere you go_

"That's beautiful, Jane. Is it new?" Maura spoke softly after it seemed like Jane's even softer tune had finished.

"You're supposed to be resting, Maur. What are you doing down here?" Jane said as she leaned against Maura's front, who had walked up behind her as she was speaking.

"Besides the fact that this is my home? I was admiring the scenery." Maura laughed while taking a spot beside Jane on the piano bench.

"Cute," Jane deadpanned, her face quickly contorted into a small smile, leaning over to Maura and kissing her gently before continuing. "I'm working on a new piece. I just can't get it perfect, I need this one to be perfect." Jane said and started absentmindedly playing a few chords.

"It was beautiful, Jane. You don't have to worry about that. Why does this one have to be perfect?" Maura questioned, whose face turned into one of confusion upon watching Jane's turn into a nervous one.

"Well, I'm thinking of applying to Berklee," Jane could already see happiness swell up in Maura's face which caused her to smile gratefully, she however, did not share the same emotion. "I dunno if I'll even get in though. There's so many kids that have like, formal training and stuff." Jane finished and pushed her glasses up her nose, already stressed thinking about all of the talented kids she would have to compete against.

"Oh, Jane, you really don't see it do you?" Maura asked and Jane raised an eyebrow in question. "You're magnificent. Your playing, your singing, takes the listener to wherever you are, and where you are is really beautiful. Do you mind playing a little more of the song for me?"

"I love you." Jane stated with such reverence, and then proceeded to take a deep breath and her fingers danced across the keys.

_In my __symbolized world I'm a beautiful girl_

_In my house on the hill there is room for you still_

_When there__'__s nothing but roaring sound_

_I will be beside you_

_When there__'__s nothing but the long drop down_

_I will be beside you_

Jane looked over at Maura and smiled, her eyes filling with everything she felt for her, and that feeling being expressed through every stroke of the keys. It truly did sound like Jane took them on a trip to wherever she was, to an entirely different world.

_When your fears are a swarm in the hive of your mind_

_When the tears of your life and your loss are entwined _

_I'll be everywhere you go_

"I'll always be beside you too, Jane." Maura said and Jane scoffed playfully.

"Aren't we a little conceited, who said the song was even about you?" Maura rolled her eyes and bumped her shoulder with Jane's.

"I'm serious, Jane. And don't worry about getting into Berklee, you're amazing and they would be crazy not to want you."

"Thanks, Maur." Jane said and then took into account Maura's current state. "Did you take your medication?" Jane asked and Maura looked absolutely offended.

"Of course I did! You know I take my prescribed medication exactly when I am supposed to." After Maura's little rant Jane raised her eyebrow and Maura let out an exasperated sigh.

"Okay, _no_, I didn't but only because I got distracted by my girlfriend's wonderful voice."

"Oh, so it's my fault you're going against your doctor's directions?" Jane challenged.

"Well you said it not me."

* * *

It was hard for Jane, constantly feeling like everything was her fault. She was the one who told her Father to leave in the first place. She didn't think the asshole would actually do it. She didn't think the man that had raised her for her entire life was capable of simply up and walking away. And not just her either. Her Ma, her brothers.

_Shit isn't right, man._

Headshot.

_**You're right, it isn't. But that's life.**_

Headshot.

_My sexuality is my biological reality, why couldn't he see that?_

The game had 30 seconds left and Jane's team was down 71-72. They had 30 seconds to get to 75 before team Atlas did. Jane was perched atop a bus waiting for the next unsuspecting victim to come around the corner. She heard footsteps coming from behind her, but by the time she got up into a crouch position the enemy had already shot her.

Defeat.

Jane sighed and set the controller down while the rest of the players watched the last kill cam, seeing her careless mistake. She let the game throw her into another match, although she didn't even bother playing, eventually being kicked due to inactivity. After a couple of moments passed she heard her phone buzz. Looking at it she saw an unread message from Frost.

_Did you hear the news about Spider-Man?_

She hadn't. Her mind had been otherwise occupied, not actively staying up to date with everything happening in the superhero world.

_**Nah, what happened?**_

_Marvel and Sony decided to share the rights! Spider-Man is back at home where he belongs and he'll be in a movie with the avengers, this is gonna be so fucking awesome!_

Normally, news like this would immediately cheer Jane right up. This is some of the biggest Marvel news, and superhero news in general, in a long time. Something everyone has been waiting for. Jane didn't get a chance to reply because her bedroom door opened and took her attention.

"Jeez, ever heard of knocking, Ma?" Jane sneered and rolled over to face away from her. She felt bad, really bad, but she couldn't break down. If she did she felt would never stop.

"Watch your tone, young lady. Turn and face me, we need to talk." Jane slowly did as she was told and leaned against the headboard.

"Sorry. What's up?"

"I want to apologize." This caused Jane to pay closer attention to what her mother was saying. Mainly because she felt her mom didn't have anything to be sorry for. "You shouldn't have to go through any of this. I should have put a stop to it, I saw how he was beginning to treat you. I just didn't think it would go this far, Janie. I'm sorry." Angie said and as her voice broke, Jane's heart followed suit. She hated to see her Ma like this.

"It's not your fault. If anything it's mine. If I wasn't, y'know, like I am, none of this would of happened and Pop would still be here. So you shouldn't have to apologize." At this point, Jane had already accepted that if it wasn't for her, Frank would still be there. So obviously the entire situation was her fault and no one was at fault but her homophobic father and herself.

"Jane, look at me." Jane looked forward to her mother who took her hand in hers. "None of this, and I mean none of it, is your fault, baby. Your Father is a grown man who is so set in his ways that he can't see that his only job should to love you unconditionally. I might not completely understand, but I love you, Jane. You and your brothers are the best things I have ever done. Don't forget that." Angela finished and got up to kiss Jane on her forehead before heading towards the door. "Oh, and I want to hear everything about you and Maura." she said before shutting the door behind her.

* * *

"Logan Lerman." Jane said with finality, "Dylan O'brien just doesn't look like spider-man, you know? He doesn't have the whole nerdy thing about him. It doesn't feel right." Jane said trying to convince Korsak on who should get the spider-man role now that Marvel would be introducing him to the avengers.

"Oh come on, Jane! Dylan would make an awesome Spider-man and you know it." Korsak rebutted and Frost decided to trow in his two cents.

"What about Miles? I'm tired of the same Peter Parker. I swear if I have to sit through the uncle Ben storyline again I'm going to shoot him myself. Spider-Man could use some diversity." Frost finished.

"You're right, I really don't want to sit through another Peter Parker story. Miles Morales would be great. But wouldn't it be too complicated for the average movie goer to understand?" Korsak asked and him and that launched into another discussion about what average superhero movie goers would be able to understand.

The gang were all in Maura's room keeping her company while she healed up. They had just finished a Spider-Man movie marathon and were about to launch in the Marvel-verse. Maura sat back and watched them with an amused expression while they engaged in yet another a heated debate.

"So does this mean Spider-Man will be in the movies with batman and everyone else?" Maura asked innocently, and three pairs of eyes turned to her, all varying in levels of mild disgust.

"Maura, sweetie, that's a completely different world. Spider-Man belongs to Marvel. Batman belongs to DC. They're rival comic brands." Jane answered patiently and Maura nodded understandingly.

"I am personally offended. The disrespect." Korsak whispered and Frost burst into laughter. Jane rolled her eyes and punched Korsak in the shoulder.

"Put the next movie in, Nerd." Jane demanded and Korsak relented, putting in the first Avengers movie.

"I still can't believe you think that Logan kid would be a better choice than Dylan." Jane shrugged and while popping some popcorn they had leftover and offered the last to Maura.

"He just has the look and demeanor. If they decide to do Peter, he could do it." Korsak was about to object but Jane shushed him since the movie was starting. He humphed and turned to watch the film silently.

Jane reached for some popcorn and realized it was officially all gone.

"Do you want me to get Esme to make more?" Maura asked and Jane shook her head.

"I can do it. Be right back."

Jane walked down the stairs and eventually made her way to the kitchen to find the bagged popcorn they brought over earlier. She put opened a pack and put it in the microwave and waited for it to finish.

"Jane, how's the movie marathon going?" Constance said as she appeared around the corner, rummaging around in the cabinets for something.

"Oh, you know, a bunch of geeks constantly debating over every aspect of every movie, naturally. But it's going great." Jane answered as the microwave beeped. She moved to get it and put it in the bowl.

"How are things at home?" Constance asked while pouring wine into a glass she retrieved form the cabinet.

Jane gave a one shouldered shrug. "Alright. It's a little tense, but nothing impossible to handle. My Ma and I talked and I think everything is good. Better, even." Jane finished and Constance nodded.

"That's good. Well, you know you are always welcome here. All of you." Constance finished smiling softly at Jane and walked out of the room and back to wherever she was. Jane let a smile break out across her face and grabbed the bowl of popcorn and headed back up to Maura's room.

"What took you so long?" Korsak asked as her eagerly reacher for the bowl. Jane let him take it and went back to her place at the top of the bed with Maura.

"Had a little talk with Mrs. Isles." Maura turned her head in question and Jane shook her head.

"Everything's good. Perfect even." Jane whispered to her. Jane wrapped her arm around Maura's shoulder and settled her attention back on the movie.


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N**: Heh... Hey guys. Sorry this took ridiculously long. Life has been...crazy, to say the least. The song Jane is playing in the beginning is by Chloe Martini 'Never Forget About Your Roots' (CBR Edit). I recommend giving it a listen as you read, especially during the first part of this. Enjoy!

* * *

"How often do you think about him?" A voice asked from behind her, she was playing the song she was composing on her keyboard. She heard the person enter the room and pause.

Jane sighed and swiveled around to face who was talking to her.

"A lot actually, I guess." She mumbled, pushing her glasses up on her face.

"You know that's okay, right? He is our dad. It's okay to miss him." Frankie told her as he sat on the edge of Jane's bed and looked at her. "I miss him too. I know he did you wrong, Janie, but he's our dad. What I'm tryin' to say is, your feelings are valid." He concluded and Jane fought the tears in her eyes.

She thought about Tommy, and the sadness was quickly replaced with rage. How that man could do that to not only her, but her brothers as well, is beyond her.

_How could he do this to them? _

_**How could he do this to you?**_

"Yeah well, I don't have a dad anymore. If he doesn't wanna be in my life, he doesn't have to be. Where did this come from anyway?" She questioned and Frankie pointed at the keyboard.

"The song you're playing. It sounds sad," He started and Jane felt her chest get tight, as if she's just now noticing the emotion that was there while she was playing. "And don't musicians play what they know or somethin'? Or is that writers who write what they know…" Jane looked at him inquisitively while he pondered over the expression. She sighed and looked at the noted on the paper. She hadn't really noticed it before, but Frankie is kind of right. What a musician is feeling often finds it's way leaking into the score, the best songs are often made when that happens.

"I didn't realize…" She started, sighing as she struggled to look her brother in the eyes "I didn't realize that I missed him so much. I mean, obviously I do I know, but I was really hoping he would just turn into a stranger I didn't care about. I was hoping I wouldn't _want _his love anymore, let alone need it." She paused, swallowing the lump in her throat. "I don't want to need him anymore."

"This isn't your fault. You didn't do nothing wrong but be yourself, and there's nothing wrong with you, alright?" Jane smiled through her watery eyes at her brother and felt pride welling in her chest.

"When did you get so smart, little brother?"

Frankie smiled and went over to Jane, hugging her tightly. Even though Jane normally didn't like hugs, she melted into this one, she was okay with needing it.

"I get it from my sister."

* * *

"What's on your mind?" Maura asked Jane, who was effectively spaced out during their lesson. Jane shook her head slightly and looked over at Maura, giving her a small smile.

"You."

"Ever the charmer," Maura chuckled pushing Jane's shoulder lightly. "You should thinking about molecular biology right now, however." Maura answered and Jane rolled her eyes and pouted at the book.

"I don't feel like doing this though. You wanna skip class? My mom's not home." Jane said suggestively, wriggling her eyebrows. Maura shook her head and laughed lightly at her girlfriend.

"You and I both know that neither of us are skipping class. We have a test tomorrow anyway, we have to study after school. You're coming over, right?" Maura asked already knowing the answer, Jane, Frost, and Korsak usually always go over to Maura's after school to study and do homework together.

Jane was about to answer when the teacher loudly cleared his throat and looked at the girls. Maura shyly looked down at her paper and Jane followed her lead, mumbling under her breath.

The bell rang shortly after. The girls put their things away then headed for the lunch room.

"Jane, what do you think about the people in the running for Peter Parker?" Frost asked as he all but materialized next to the girls, Korsak appearing next shortly after.

"Yet another straight, white, male. Groundbreaking." She answered rolling her eyes and Frost guffawed.

"You're tellin' me! This Asa kid may be a good actor, but first they torture us with yet ANOTHER Peter Parker storyline, and now they wanna make him yet another white guy on top of it? C'mon, can a guy get some diversity?" He pouted and Jane nodded her head in agreement.

"Lord knows we need more diversity in movies. They really messed up on this one." Jane answered as they all stood in line for food. As usual, Maura shook her head and sighed and Jane and the boys unhealthy choices, piling up on nachos and cookies while she picked up a caesar salad.

"You guys should really start eating healthier. I'm going to ask Esme to make us some more..nutritional snacks for us when you guys come over today." Maura said and everyone at the table stared at her in varying levels of disgust.

"Tragic."

"This is abuse!"

"I'm bringing pizza."

The three of them moaned and Maura laughed as she combed through her salad.

"You guys need a little more health in your life. You can't live off of fake cheese and pop."

"Watch us." Korsak said as he shoveled his nachos into his mouth. Jane rolled her eyes at her friend and put her arm around Maura.

"Of course we'll start eating healthy. We appreciate Esme, even when she's feeding us rabbit food."

"Do we have to study tonight? We always study. I think we deserve a break." Frost whined. The table looked over at Maura, who, naturally, has the mother role of the group.

"Guys, we have tests tomorrow, we need to study. How else are we supposed to preform to the best of our abilities? We must be absolutely certain we know the content." Maura finished and Jane perked an eyebrow.

"So…what I'm hearing from this is that we should definitely study for like, an hour, then go paintballing, right?" Jane finished and the boys started cheering and Maura furrowed her brows.

"Wait, no that's not what I-"

"This is gonna be awesome! We haven't been paint balling in awhile." Korsak said and the group began animately talking about strategies for paint balling while Maura sat back and observed with a smile on her face.

* * *

The group rolled up to Boston Paint + Supply. Jane could barely put the car in park before Frost and Korsak bolted out of the car and to the front entrance.

"I can't believe I let you drag me along to this. Getting shot with a paintball gun hurts!" Maura whined as she unbuckled her seatbelt and got out of the car. Jane followed suit, getting out and walking around to Maura's side of the car and grabbing her hand.

"I'll protect you, milady." Jane said dramatically a deeply curtseyed as she opened the front door for Maura. Maura rolled her eyes in mock annoyance her lips betrayed her, pulling up into a smile.

"You're lucky I love you." Jane smiled cheekily as they neared Frost and Korsak.

"I am."

* * *

"I'm never doing this again!" Maura yelled from behind a short wall as paintballs from the opposing team flew over her head.

"Stay down, Maur! Frost and I are gonna go around the back side of the field and get them. Korsak is gonna stay near you in case they move their line up." Jane whispered over from where she was ducking down at. After she told Maura the plan, she nodded to frost and they moved through the grass through the back side of the field. Jane had a clean shot for two of the opposing teams players when all of a sudden she felt a sharp pain in her thigh and in her chest. She fell down to the ground in clutching her chest.

"Jane! Are you alright? I told you to wear thicker pants!" He chastised but Jane was too focused on the pain to listen.

"Tell Maura…I love her." Jane said and then pretended to play dead. Frost rolled his eyes and pushed her shoulder.

"Get up, you gotta go to the starting gate now. I'll finish this out. Try not to get hit on the way through the field. People don't care if you're out or not." He said as Jane started to get to her knees. She patted Frost's shoulder and looked at him in the eyes with a serious gaze.

"Get home safe." And then she was running through the grass back to the starting point.

"Jane? Did you get hit?" Maura asked as she saw Jane walking back over her way.

"Yup, got myself a couple battle wounds. I know for sure I'm gonna have some bad bruises." She said wincing at the small but sharp pain.

_Definitely should__'__ve worn thinker clothes._

_**You never listen.**_

"You should've worn-" Korsak started and Jane put a hand up.

"Yes, I get it! I should have listened and worn thicker clothes. Let me wallow in misery in peace. Thank you." Jane finished and headed to the entrance. Just as she was about to walk out of the field and back into the briefing room the moderator yelled across the field so that everyone could hear.

"Team A wins! Everyone head back to the briefing room and we'll go on to the next stage. Restock on ammo and get another air tank if you need one. See you all in a few!" He finished and Jane fist pumped.

"Yes! Frost must have carried out the plan effectively." Jane finished and some guy walked cooly up to her.

"Your buddy got hit, I took them out. You're welcome." He said and Jane furrowed her brow. She hadn't really spoken to her other teammates, opting to just run her own squad with, well, her squad.

"Uh, thanks." She said to his retreating form and Maura saddled up next to her.

"Who's that?"

"One of our teammates, he won the game for the team."

"Hmph, I could've handled it if he didn't get in my way." Frost said walking up to them with yellow paint all over his body.

"Jeez man, what happened to you?" Korsak asked as he refilled his gun.

"Mr. Save-the-Day gave away my position," Frost yelled pointing towards the person who was just talking to Jane. "Used me as a diversion without even consulting me. I was completely blindsided!"

"We'll figure out a better plan for this next round, we won't need him this time." Jane said with finality and Maura spoke up.

"You guys take this so seriously."

"This isn't a game Maura." Jane told her girlfriend seriously and then looked at the opposing team. "This is war."

* * *

"Never again." Jane said as she plopped down on the bench wincing at her wounds. After two more rounds went by they were done, they won both but not due to anything they had done.

"I can't stand that guy." Frost said looking at the guy that had sacrificed him earlier without his knowledge.

"You don't even know him." Maura reasoned and frost scoffed.

"Don't have to, he seems like a complete tool. And a tool that has no problem serving up his own teammates in order to place hero." He finished and the guy began walking towards them.

"Well well, If it isn't the Call of duty wannabes." He taunted and Jane clenched her teeth.

"Listen, maybe if you would've been a team player we would've had a better shot."

"You would've had a better shot if your plan were actually good. But do what you will." He gave a nasty smile and Korsak cleared his throat.

"You gotta problem, buddy? Anything you need?"

"Nothing in particular," He said and then settled his eyes on Maura. Jane instinctually stepped slightly in front of her. "Hello, beautiful, what's your name?" He asked giving a slimy smile.

"Not interested." She said barely paying him and mind. He scowled and skulked back from whence he came, taking his bruised ego with him.

"It's getting late, let's head home before my Ma gets a heart attack." Jane said and extended her hand to Maura who gladly took it.

"Next time I get to choose the activity."


	15. Chapter 15

"When you said you wanted to pick the next activity, I didn't know it would be this." Jane frowned as the group walked up the stairs to the Public Library.

"You picked last time, so I get to pick this time. That's how it works." Maura said with a smug smile spilling onto her face.

"Yeah, but come on, Maura. The _library?_" Frost groaned. Korsak was perfectly fine with skulking in the back mumbling to himself.

Jane silenced him with a glare, which quickly got Frost to raise his hands in surrender. "Look, we love learning as much as the next guys," Jane started, earning a glare from the boys, "Well, speaking for myself anyway. But do we _have _to spend a Friday night in the library?" She pouted.

Maura huffed and rolled her eyes, "If you all would kindly acquire some patience, you would see why we're here." Maura stated as they entered the astronomy section of the library. She picked up a few basic beginner guides on the stars and constellations. Sure that she had what they needed, she turned around to head to the check out desk.

"Uh, why do you need books on astronomy?" Jane asked and her eyebrows furrowed.

"Clear skies tonight." Maura shrugged and Jane continued to sport a look of confusion. It took a couple beats for her to realize what that insinuated.

"Aw man, wait! Are we going stargazing?" Jane asked excitedly jumping up and down, barely able to contain her excitement. Maura smiled at her girlfriend and nodded lightly.

"Oh hold up," Frost entered, his eyes beginning to brighten up as well, "Isn't that meteor shower tonight?!"

That got Korsak to perk up.

"I thought it would be more exciting and enriching if we also brought along a telescope. We need the books so we know what to look for." Maura answered as she handed her library card to the person at the front desk. "I would rather have a book open than keep looking at a small phone screen. They'll be helpful." She finished and thanked the person at the front desk.

"This is gonna be so cool!" Frost exclaimed, practically skipping out of the library with Korsak hot on his heels.

"Dude, METEORS! Like the ones that killed the dinosaurs!"

Jane smirked and shook her head, amused by her best friends and their quirks. Maura on the other hand looked confused. Certainly, Korsak knew that research on the extinction of dinosaurs was inconclusive, right? A meteor is probably the least likely outcome.

"Nice job, Maura. They're gonna be hopped up like kids on a sugar rush." Maura smiled softly and slid her hand into Jane's.

"I figured this would be fun. We're going to need stuff to keep us warm. Some hot chocolate in thermals and such. I'll let Esmeralda know." Maura said as she took out her phone to text Esme.

"Where are we going to watch it, by the way?" Jane queried.

"Well, it's Friday. I figured we could take a small trip outside of the city. You'll see when we get there. My mother already cleared it with everyone's parents." Jane smiled.

"You think of everything, don't you?" Jane asked and leaned in to kiss her on her cheek.

"It's one of my better qualities."

"I dunno, babe," Jane said from behind her "I can think of some other valuable assets you have." Maura spun around and gave her a playful glare to Jane who was looking quite smug.

"I don't know why I'm with you, honestly."

"Sure you do, it's because you love me."

Maura's eyes were going to roll out of her head dealing with this woman. "Against my better judgement."

* * *

"Maura, you've double checked the list 5 times. To double check means check it _twice_. I think we got everything." Jane groaned as Maura continues to focus intently on the list stored on her phone.

"Okay wait just let me…you have spare underwear right? Toothbrush?" She asks and Jane rolled her eyes.

"Yes, Maur. All set and ready to go. Now lets go get the boys before my brothers start asking to come." Jane says as she practically drags Maura out of the house.

"You didn't let me finish going over the list again Jane," Maura huffed as she let herself be led to the car. "Now what if you forgot something?"

"I'm sure I'll be fine, Maura." Jane chuckles lightly. "And if we did forget something, we can figure it out."

"We? Oh no. There is no "we". You didn't let me finish. So if you forgot something you can figure out." Maura humphs and looks over to her girlfriend who's rummaging through her backpack.

"Just a sec. I think…I think I forgot my toothbrush." Jane says distractedly and then slowly looks up. "Uh, heh, be right back." And with that, Jane bolts out of the car.

Maura rolls her eyes and starts the car.

Jane ran back out with more than a toothbrush. She carried a phone charger and headphones and a small bluetooth speaker.

"This is why we have lists, Jane. _Lists_."

"Yeah, yeah." She grumbled while stuffing the items in her already full bag. "Let's go get the boys. I'm sure they should be done packing by now."

* * *

They weren't done packing. It had taken them about 20 extra minutes at both of the boy's respective houses. And when they were finished packing, Maura double (quadruple) checked to make sure they had everything. This time around Jane didn't stop her, knowing they would be better off if she made sure everyone was set.

Also, Jane didn't want to get in trouble with her girlfriend because she didn't let her finish checking, _again_.

The kids are in obvious high spirits, excited about the trip ahead of them. Korsak and Frost are animately talking about some new video game they just started, _Until Dawn_. Jane has her hand resting on Maura's thigh, who wouldn't let Jane hold her hand because, "both hands must remain on the will at a 10 to 2 position at all times to afford maximum control," to which Jane rolled her eyes but still smiled lovingly at her girlfriend, consistently amused by all of her quirks. And Jane loves every single one. Maura is explaining to them what they'll have to look for. Since the skies are clear tonight, plus being out of the city and its light pollution, they should be able to see the meteor shower with no problem.

"Are we there yet?" The boys groaned and Jane shot them a look.

"Actually, we should be arriving within the next 15 minutes." Maura stated and smiled gently.

"We've barely been in the car for an hour. Stop whining."

Within the next few minutes, they had arrived at Maura's family cabin. Her mother often twisted her face at the idea of spending time in the anywhere where you could find a barney's within a 10 mile radius. So usually it would just be her and her father up her. The boys filtered out excited at racing each other to the door, while Jane laughed lightly and rolled her eyes at them. She moved over to help Maura with the bags, grabbing all of the bigger ones before she had a chance. Maura rolled her eyes and scoffed lightly, a smile playing on her lips.

"I could have helped."

"I know, babe." Jane pecked her softly on the lips and started walking towards the house. Maura skipped a few paces ahead of her and opened the door so Jane could step through.

"I'll go set up a tent."

"Take one of the boys with you, they'll probably end up breaking something if they don't redirect that energy somehow."

Maura nodded and lightly touched Jane's cheek, who leaned into the hand on instinct. "You can set the bags in the room down the hall, first door on the right. The second on on the right is the bathroom."

Jane nodded as they split ways, wincing as she heard a loud thud and groaning. Jane sighed before clearing her throat.

"Oy! Morons! Come help Maura set up the tent!"

They filed out from somewhere behind them, Frost rubbing the back of his head and bumped his shoulder to Korsak's, mutter intelligibly under his breath.

A few hours later, the boys were fighting over the last cup of hot cocoa that Maura had asked Esme to make. You would think she put cocaine in them the way the boys were fighting over it.

"They're gonna end up murdering each other someday. You should do something." Maura shook her head, laughing at the boys who, over these last couple of months, became some of the closet friends she had ever had.

Jane hummed from her position, snuggled warmly under a blanket looking up at the sky in wonder, watching the meteor shower as if it were the 8th wonder of the world. As if the meteors and the sky could vanish at any moment. She was appreciating the sky for what it was. Away from the city, away from light pollution. It was beautiful, and not something Jane thought to take time to appreciate everyday. She knew the sky was beautiful, but when your under it, aware of how vast everything is, and how small everyone is, you feel something inside of you turn on. Like the essence of your being is trying to return to the stars.

"That sounds like a problem for future Jane. I'll cross that road when I get there." Jane finished and held out her arms expectedly grabbing the air like a toddler reaching to be picked up. Maura giggled and crawled under the blanket, watching the sky with Jane, content to just be.

"Thank you for this. It's a welcomed change from getting shot at with paint balls." She winced at the memory, still sporting a light bruise.

"I'm having war flashbacks." Maura joked and snuggled up against Jane, taking her hand in hers.

"I would have given my life to protect you, my lady." Jane said in a mock medieval accent.

"I've no doubt. You're my knight in shining armor. I'll have you take my favor. That way no one else tries to court you." Maura said parroting her accent. Which is probably the funniest thing Jane heard all day.

Jane's head tilted back slightly as a laughed ripped through her, "I love you." Reverence shining brightly in her eyes. Jane worshipped her. Not in the way that required to go to church, but pure, unadulterated adoration.

"I know," Maura began rubbing soothing circles on Jane's hand "I love you too." And she meant it. Whatever preconceived notions she had about young love before, how it was fleeting, and short, was tossed out the window the moment she met Jane.

"Get a room!" Korsak threw a pillow in the girls' direction. Jane easily caught it and lobbed it right back, hitting him square in the face.

"Go look at some stars, maybe some aliens would kindly come and abduct you so I don't have to deal with you anymore." She stuck her tongue out.

"Ouch, I'm wounded. I thought we were friends." and he folded his arms across his chest and began pouting.

"Children, both of you." Frost added from his spot and Korsak threw the pillow at his face, which earned him a scowl.

"Now what on earth gave you that idea?" She smirked and Korsak mumbled before taking out his phone. He downloaded some app that let you point the camera at the sky and it gave you all of the information of the constellation you were looking at. Probably got tired of reading.

"You know," The tone in Maura's voice immediately gaining Jane's attention, "We could actually get a room."

"Now Maura Isles, are you trying to seduce me?" Jane's voice dropped a register.

"Is it working?"

"Yes," She leaned in to kiss Maura before smirking leaning away to reveal a scowling Maura "_But_, I just want to lay here with you right now. The sky is beautiful and you are beautiful and, I dunno, I just want to be with you right now. Is that ok?" Jane absentmindedly touched the bridge of her nose to push her glasses up. Maura smiled that smile that was exclusively for Jane. It made her heart race, and it almost made her want to change her mind.

"Of course." Maura shifted closer to Jane, using her body heat to keep warm.

"Thank you."

"What? You don't have to thank me for something like that, Jane." Maura chastised lightly and Jane sighed softly.

"I know, I just-I don't know." Maura turned back to face the sky.

"What do you see?"

Jane scrunched her nose. She hadn't really been looking for any particular constellation.

"Nothing. A bunch of clusters, I guess. Also very fast shooting stars. Because, you know, meteor shower and whatnot." She paused and studied a little harder before pointing "That may be Orion's Belt, or the Three kings, whatever you want to call them."

"You're right. Both names are correct. Do you know their stories?" she waited before adding "You do know meteors aren't shooting stars, right? Shooting stars aren't even shooting stars."

Jane laughed softly to herself, causing the vibrations of her laugh to gently shake Maura. "Yeah, I know. And no, I haven't, but I'm sure you'll tell me. I can't wait to hear." She honestly couldn't. It was almost impossible to hear something Maura enjoyed talking about because of how excited she got and the way her eyes lit up. It was contagious. Maura could be teaching how grass grows and Jane would think it was the most beautiful thing in the world.

* * *

The boys had fallen asleep, the day's excitement catching up to them. It was around 2am, though Jane and Maura still look reverently at the sky. On the speaker Jane brought, "Back To The Stars" by Until the Ribbon Breaks played softly in the background. Soft melodies and smooth electronic transitions gently dancing around them before floating up to the stars.

"I could probably solve all of the world's mysteries you know," Jane started, rubbing gentle circles on Maura's hand, "As long as I had your hand in mine."

And what a feeling it was, to feel as though all of the world's mysteries were sealed in someone's hands. Jane thought, she knew, that if Maura were cracked open, her veins would be filled with stars and her bones with suns as marrow. Maura looked at her with something in her eyes, glistening, bright as the Northern Lights. Soft, mysterious, and absolutely breathtaking. In her eyes were a world without and hint of shadows. Unlike Jane's, which was filled with ghosts.

A what a beautiful world it must be, one with no shadows and no ghosts.

"Stop looking at me like that." Maura breathed, voice barely above a whisper.

"Like what?"

"Like I'm your entire world." Maura's smile softened and she turned to look at her. Jane eyes began to glaze over, she saw the entire universe in her eyes, an entire world. One she knew nothing about.

She almost wants to look away.

Jane began thinking of her father, who had looked at her in disgust. A face that should have made her ashamed.

But who could ever be ashamed of loving Maura Isles?

"I don't have another way to look at you." And Jane knew in any universe, in any version of themselves, they would be under the same stars, holding each other like they are now. As long as there was a Jane, and there was a Maura, they would be together.

"Did you ever notice that your eyes are sad?" Maura said after a pause.

Jane knew. She knew when she would wake up from dreams that she couldn't remember, and she would look in the mirror and her eyes were sad. Jane's ribs were cracked open, but they weren't constellations and suns in her veins and marrow like Maura. Jane was broken. She didn't have the luxuries Maura had. Maura had that familial support, but her? Her own father left when he found out who she was. And even then he always knew, yet he stuck in his hateful ways knowing how much it hurt her. Watching her gradually fall into herself. No, Jane's soul was tired and worn from years of being raised in a catholic homophobic home. Words tore threw her skin and gnawed at her seams. And she knew, first hand, that words were different when they lived inside of you.

But Jane didn't know how to say all of this, so instead she said nothing.

Her fingers twitched, searching for the familiar refuge in black and white keys.

"When will we find all of the secrets, Jane? To the universe I mean?" Maura questioned, searching the constellations as if they might help. Such big questions getting the better of her scientific mind.

Jane tasted the words as they left Maura's mouth. They tasted hopeful.

She frowned.

Truthfully, Jane didn't have an answer. Jane rarely had the answers anyway. She was floundering around barely keeping her head above water. This could all end. They may never have any of the answers, they might not work out. Jane might have to let go of her hand someday. But right now, in this moment, she didn't have to. So she held on tighter.

And Jane thought again, even if they weren't together in this universe, they were in another.

"Tomorrow."


	16. Chapter 16

"Do we have to go back?"

Oranges and pinks painted the horizon on the outskirts of the city. The world was just barely waking up, so, for now, it felt as if they were the only people in it.

"I wish we didn't have to," Maura breathed in the morning air as she walked up to Jane and hugged her from behind, "but we can't stay here forever."

"We could," Jane whispered, home meant people she didn't want to face, responsibilities. She wished she could stay in this cabin with her friends and not worry about anything. She would write them songs, symphonies.

She would immortalize them. She would freeze this sky where it was with notes on a page like an artist would paint on a canvas to capture a moment forever.

"We have to go back. We're going to finish out this school year, and then maybe we can spend more time here during the summer," Maura paused to look at Jane who gave her an easy smile "We could stay and look at the stars every night if you wanted. But, for now, we have to go back."

Maura was right, as always. They would go back to school and get ready for college applications, Jane would go into music and Maura would, no doubt, go into some insanely hard science major. The boys would probably do anything that allowed them to use those big mouths and big minds of theirs. They would be alright. But they had to go back first. Senior year, and then life.

Jane sighed.

Maura kissed her neck tenderly and muttered a quiet "I love you."

Jane smiled softly. Love was always something Jane had to carry, it was heavy and demanding and insistent on being felt. People expected your love, even if you didn't necessarily know how to show it or show it in the right way. But Maura's love was never a burden, it was never heavy, it was light, like the stars against a dark sky or the colors that painted the sunrise. Maura's love was like a world without burdens.

A world without burdens, how wonderful would that be?

"What do you love, Jane? What do you really love?" Jane didn't have to think.

"The stars. Jesus, I love the stars." She said.

"Stars can be kind of lonely, don't you think?"

"How can be lonely when they're surrounded by stories? You made me love the stars, Maura. You telling me their stories and them dancing and twinkling with life. How is that lonely?" She paused for a beat. "The stars and you. Those are the things I love the most."

Maura hummed contently. They stayed like that for several moments.

"We should probably wake the Korsak and Frost up. I can make us something for breakfast. How does blueberry pancakes sound?"

Maura kissed her chastely on the cheek before removing herself from behind her. "Wonderful, I'll get the boys up and then I'll come help you."

Maura walked over to the where the boys were sleeping while Jane turned around to head into the house. She chuckled lightly as she heard the loud groans coming from the boys spill through the cabin and knew they were not pleased with waking up when the sky was barely awake itself.

Before Jane started breakfast, she started playing music through her phone. Turning on Wide Eyes by Local Natives, she smiled gently and bobbed her head along with the music before setting off on her task. Jane milled around the kitchen looking for the ingredients she needed. Thankfully it seemed to be well stocked, she found pancake mix and fresh blueberries in the fridge and set to work.

_Oh some evil spirit,_

_Oh some evil this way comes._

_They told me how they fear it,_

_Now they're placing it on their tongues_

Jane laughed softly while singing because she heard someone join her in the background.

_No food or water,_

_For the better part of ten months._

_Quietly he sat,_

_Between the folds of a tree trunk_

Maura sang with her as she went into the fridge to fetch eggs and began to work on her part of breakfast. She carefully separated the egg whites with a smile on her face. The day was bright and so was her smile. Jane wondered if her smile was as bright as Maura's. Maybe as bright. But not as beautiful, she decided.

They continued on like this while they cooked breakfast for themselves. Singing and laughing and relishing in each other's company and being young and in love.

"Breakfast and a show? What did we do to deserve this?" Korsak asked with Frost on his heels.

"Nothing." Jane supplied easily and shrugged. "But we have to feed you guys or you'll die. And I don't want to be the one to break the news to your families."

"Gee, we can feel the love, truly." Frost said rolling his eyes and bumping his shoulder to Jane's.

"Whatever, breakfast is ready. Maura and I slaved over a hot stove just for you guys."

"We are forever indebted to you." Korsak said with mock seriousness while bowing slightly in Jane and Maura's direction.

"Did you guys wanna see star wars some time this week?" Frost asked and Korsak nodded enthusiastically unable to speak because his mouth was filled with food.

"Yeah sounds good, Maura?" Jane said while cutting up her pancakes like a civilized human being that is the product of millions of years of evolution.

"As long as we get our studying done beforehand. No slacking." Maura said eyeing them all pointedly.

"Yes, Maura." They said in unison and Maura rolled her eyes at them.

"We have to all get packed up and ready to go. Unfortunately it's the end of the weekend and school still looms around the corner." The boys looked up from where they were sitting, got up, and left the room without another word.

Jane looked at her with a slightly amused but also slightly disgusted face.

"Really, Maur? Looms?"

"Yes, looms. Loom refers to something that is to happen, or is close to happening." Maura said and Jane just continued to stare at her.

"You make it sound like we're in some dramatic novel. You realize that, right? That we're not in a dramatic novel."

"Loom was a perfectly viable word for the context in which I was speaking. I don't see a problem."

"Looms is the problem, Maura."

* * *

Maura had finished dropping off the boys and then dropped Jane off last.

"I'll see you first thing tomorrow, alright?" Jane said unbuckling her seatbelt while reaching behind her to grab her bag.

"Of course."

"We all still on for studying and stuff?"

"We all study together almost everyday, Jane. Yes, we're still on. Bring your attention span." Maura sassed and Jane rolled her eyes for what felt like the fiftieth time that day.

"Yeah yeah, no promises though." Jane leaned over to kiss her quickly on the cheek before getting out of the car and walking into the house.

"Janie, you home?" Angie's voice called through the house, Jane hung up her coat and kicked off her shoes before continuing into the hallway.

"Yeah, Ma, need help with anything-," Jane paused and her eyes went wide, "Pop?"

"Hey, Jane." He said easily while nursing a coffee, "I wanted to talk." Jane looked over to her mom who had her lips pursed lightly and eyes filled with something she couldn't name. Her dad sat there like nothing happened. Like he didn't walk out on them, on her.

Some nerve.

She scoffed and rolled her eyes. "Yeah well," Jane said tightly, turning around before walking stiffly towards the stairs, "I don't really wanna do much talking, Pop. Maybe in a another life."

"I know you're mad at me, but I'm still your father, you can't just talk to me like that. Sit down." Jane rolled her eyes again and kept walking before she heard a fist come down to the table. "Now!"

She turned around slowly, her mom looked like she wanted to say something, but wouldn't. Something Jane was all too familiar with.

"You don't get to do this. You don't get to abandon your family because you don't _agree _with me and then come back out of the blue demanding my attention. You do not get to do that. You _left_, Pop," Jane took a deep breath to reel in her tears. She couldn't cry. She couldn't show him that it still hurt her. That he hurt her. "You left and you didn't come back. You made me feel like I broke this family. I didn't, _you_ did. _YOU_ did. And you left me here, your own daughter, to believe everything was my fault."

"You broke it with your sin," He spat with scorn in his voice. He took a deep breath before continuing, "Look Janie, I didn't come here to fight. I wanted to apologize-," Jane cut him off before he got to finish.

"Yeah well, you have a shitty way of doing it." She muttered under her breath.

He opted to ignore the statement and ran his right hand over his face. "Listen, I don't agree with your…lifestyle. But you're my daughter and I love you."

"I love you too, that's the problem. I love you so much. So much I'm almost willing to forgive you. But you left, Pop. You left Ma, how could you do that to her? Did you even think of Frankie or Tommy? Did you think of them before you left?" Jane could feel the tears start to come, and this time she didn't try to stop them this time. "You didn't. You didn't think of them. You can talk to Tommy and Frankie. Maybe they'll want something to do with you. But I don't." She looked down at her feet and pushed her glasses up her nose as she felt them falling. "I don't." She said again before turning around and running upstairs to her room. She shut the door quietly and laid on her bed.

He didn't come after her.

Typical.

_**Maybe you should give him a chance.**_

_I don__'__t owe him anything._

_**You don**__**'**__**t, it wouldn**__**'**__**t be about him. It would be about healing yourself. It would be for you.**_

_I__'__m not ready to forgive him. _

Jane picked up her cellphone before she really even realized what she was doing.

"I need you."

* * *

Maura turned her car around as soon as she was able. Soon enough, she was back in the Rizzoli driveway.

"Jane? What happened? What's wrong?" Maura asked with concern seeping through her voice. She quickly did a once over her body to make sure there was nothing physically wrong with her.

"I just need to not be here." She expressed to Maura, her voice barely above a whisper.

That was all Maura needed. She backed out of the driveway and continued driving done the street until the house was well out of the vicinity. Maura began to drive towards her home. Jane, who was unusually quiet, was looking out of the window and clenching her jaw every now and then. When they pulled up to the house, Maura took Jane's hand and lead her to the house. Her eyes cast downwards, she didn't notice Maura giving her father a slight shake of her head when she saw him down the hallway. He nodded in acknowledgment, worry painting his features, but let Maura continue to lead Jane through the house regardless. Maura led them to one of Jane's favorite rooms, the music room, where Jane had played for Maura's Father.

"My dad is back." Jane took a shaky breath and released it. "He's back and I don't know what to do, or feel. I told him I didn't want anything to do with him. He thinks I owe him something, he thinks I owe him my time. He blames his leaving on me. Like I physically forced him to leave the us." Jane wasn't going to cry. Her father didn't deserve her tears, her emotion. Even that's all she seemed capable of giving him.

"You don't owe him anything." Maura told her, rubbing her hands slowly up and down Jane's arms. "Not even your love."

"I have to love him. He's my dad. I need him." The break in Jane's voice on the word "need" made Maura's heart ache for Jane. "I need him."

"I can't say I understand, Jane. But whatever, you decide, whether that is to talk to him or never be associated with him for the rest of your life, I am on your side. No matter what."

"I love you." Jane said taking Maura's face gently between her hands rubbing gentle circles on her cheeks. "I love you so much. What did I do to deserve you?"

"Exist." Maura stated simple and shrugged her shoulders. Giving a shy smile to Jane. "You're perfect for me."

"I'm already emotionally unstable and on the verge of tears, Maur. Don't make me cry."

"Crying is a perfectly normal reaction to almost any human emotion, Jane." Maura said seriously and Jane had to stop herself from bursting out in a fit of giggles.

"You're such a fucking dork. A completely lovable, adorable fucking dork."

"You love me for it." Maura stuck her tongue out at Jane who just laughed and bumped her shoulder to Maura's.

"Against my better judgment." They had been silent for a couple beats before Jane spoke up again. "Do you think your parents will be okay with me staying here for the night? I really don't want to go back home right now."

Maura was already nodding her head along "Of course. Always."

"Bedtime looms around the corner." Jane smirked and Maura gave her a cold glare.

"If I had something to throw at you right now, I would be throwing it."

"I'm wounded, Maura. Ouch-!" Maura punched Jane and then ran ahead.

And just like that, Maura took Jane's burdens away.


	17. Chapter 17

My black is showing, y'all.

* * *

"Five more minutes." Jane groaned, her voice even raspier when masked by sleep. She pulled the comforter up over her head. She heard a familiar chuckle and decided it was way too early for someone to sound so giddy.

"You said that five minutes ago. We still have to get the boys before school so get up." Maura said and pulled the covers off of Jane. Jane, who could barely manage a sleepy glare.

"Fine, but I get control of the aux cord." Maura shrugged.

"Sure, whatever you want. Just get up before we're late for class." Jane begrudgingly rolled over the side of the bed and sat on the edge.

"I could do without another day of school for the rest of my life." Jane groaned while she stretched out her body.

"One day, but right now you need to shower and get ready for class because unfortunately, today is not that day." Maura teased and Jane rolled her eyes before heading off to the bathroom.

After Jane showered she threw on some of Maura's clothes since she had forgotten hers the previous night.

"What are you smirking at?" Jane asked when she caught her girlfriend's smug gaze.

"I just like you in my clothes." She said rolling her shoulders. This caused Jane to roll her eyes and nervously push her glasses up her nose. Maura laughed good heartedly and led them through the house and to her Tesla. Keeping her word, Maura handed Jane the aux cord.

Maura had no objections to the music Jane was playing during the past 15 minutes. They had picked the boys up and were all bobbing their head along. That is until the next song played.

The artist could barely get three words out before Maura spoke up.

"Change this." Jane smiled wickedly.

"No."

Maura was thoroughly regretting her decision to let her girlfriend have control of the aux cord.

'Dream' by Young Thug blared through the speakers and Jane sang along animately directing the lyrics towards Maura.

_A young guy's life is a dream_

_We ain't lettin' no hoes get between us_

_When my diamonds speak, they say "bling"_

_Yellow diamonds, no crime scene_

_This that rich shit, I eat fish and grits_

"Jane."

"Oh come on Maura. Trap is music, too. You know it's catchy." Jane said and turned the dial up louder.

_Catch me boolin' with my dogs, just like Michael Vick_

_I don't give no damn if they throw it off, I won't fuckin' miss_

_Bitch I'm so up, no Sleepy Brown, wouldn't talk to him 'bout shit_

_Ya dig?_

"This cannot be classed as music." Jane shrugged.

"There's loads of different types of music. Hip-Hop and Trap is music, too." Maura just rolled her eyes and turned the volume down a couple notches.

"Ah come on, Maura. Don't hate on my culture's music." Frost said laughing before continuing to rap along with a smile on his face, Korsak rapping alongside him.

Maura shook her head and laughed gently. By the time the hook came around a second time she was singing along.

* * *

Jane could barely pay attention in any of her courses. Usually she was a model student, not as good as Maura, but a model student nonetheless.

She could barely even remember what class she was in right now.

"Jane?" Mr. Whoever He Is that teaches whatever this class is asked Jane with a quirked eyebrow.

"Huh?"

"I asked if you knew the answer. Do you?" Mr. Whoever He Is huffed, clearly annoyed that one of the best students in the class had not been paying attention.

She sighed resignedly. "No, sorry."

"Try to pay attention, this will all be on the test." He stated before turning towards another poor soul and asking them for the answer.

_Shit, test?_

_**Maybe pay attention, yeah?**__**  
**_

_Yeah, I got that._

"Nerdzzoli doesn't know an answer for once? The world must be ending." Some jock snickered from behind her. She rolled her eyes and attempted to pay attention to what the teacher was saying, but she had too much going on in her mind.

The bell jerked her out of her stupor, she hurriedly packed her stuff away before heading out into the hallway.

Jane opted to skip lunch and took her regular refuge in the piano lab. She sat at the piano bench, unaware that she had an audience.

Jane took a deep breath and began playing 'Often a Bird' by Wim Mertens.

She let the melody flow through her onto the keys like the instrument was an extension of herself. This is what Jane lived for, the sound of music and the individual notes encapsulating her like an old friend, a forgotten lover, a warm embrace.

Jane was careful with each note, giving them the attention they each needed. Whether it be piano, forte, staccato, each one was treated with such reverence under the care of Jane's hands.

"That was beautiful," The person that had been listening in said, she was the music teacher. Grading scores before Jane had come in to play. "Maybe you could be an accomplished musician one day, a composer perhaps."

It sounded like such a beautiful thing when she said it. Much too beautiful for her.

Jane got to thinking that people that composed music were a lot like people telling stories. And that some scores are like novels.

Yeah, much too beautiful for her.

"I dunno." Jane said, fingers absentmindedly dancing across the keys. "There's a ton of kids with more training then me. Who deserve it more than me. Worked harder."

"You don't think you deserve that?" Jane just shrugged and casted her gaze downward. "You're wrong. Anyone that can play with that much feeling, with that much love, deserves it." She said resolutely and left without another word.

Jane stared off after the teacher with her mouth slightly open. This teacher that didn't even know her, yet she was telling her what she deserved after hearing one song.

And if a stranger thought she deserved something as beautiful as that, doesn't she?

The school day dragged on and Jane could still barely keep her eyes open. All the day afforded her was much unwanted time spent letting emotions fester from the previous night. Jane decided she would talk to her Father, hear what he had to say.

Maybe he could go a few moments without being homophobic trash.

When the final bell rang she hurriedly exited the school and headed to the parking lot to hop in her car. Until she remembered Maura was the one that drove that day.

She cursed quietly and decided to walk, knowing it would take about 30 minutes on foot, she took out her headphones and prepared for the mini trek ahead of her. She didn't want to think about how anxious Maura would be, or the worried texts and calls from her brother and friends, so she turned her data off and turned her music on.

* * *

"Hey, Ma." Jane asked when she finally walked through the door, hanging up her jacket. She walked through the hallway and she saw her mother in the kitchen at the sink. "Where's Pop?" She placed the dish she was cleaning back in the sink and turned around the meet Jane's gaze.

"He left." She paused for a second to gauge Jane's expression. "Tommy went with him. He's not far, though."

If shouldn't have hurt as much as it did. She saw this coming. She shouldn't have let it get to her as much as it did. But her was her _Dad _and he was supposed to be there. No matter what happened. And why did she just let Tommy leave? Did she let him go easily?

Why would Tommy leave them too?

"Oh." That all she could get out. Because what else was there to say? What else was there to do? Was she supposed to scream and cry and yell at him to come back? To love her? Unconditionally so? "Alright." She shrugged and picked her jacket right back up and left the house without another word. She ignored her mom's calls and got in her car.

Jane drove for hours, going everywhere and nowhere until she stopped at the Boston University Observatory. She stayed there on the roof, looking up at the night sky and making her own stories for the stars.

The stars were so lonely but so crowded. They looked closer to each other than they actually were. The stars reminded Jane of herself.

That broke her heart.

"I thought I would find you here. I was worried. You left and you didn't say anything. Frankie told me what happened." She heard Maura say from behind her. She sighed.

Maura was trying to be there for her, and Jane really wanted her to be. But she couldn't deal with anything or anyone right now.

She wanted the silence that the night sky offered to swallow her whole.

"Hey, Maur."

"Do you want to talk about it?" Jane immediately shook her head and Maura let a couple minutes go by before sighing deeply. "I think you should talk about it. It might help to let it out."

Jane didn't know what to do with that advice, besides the obvious—use it. So she kept it inside. like she did with most things. Kept it inside until it broke her enough to make something beautiful out of the wreckage.

But nothing beautiful would be coming from her pain tonight.

"I can't do this right now. Can you accept that? That I can't do this." She saw hurt flash in Maura's eyes and she knew in that moment that she would spend the rest of her life making it up to her.

But not right now.

"Of course." Maura looked like she was fighting off tears of her own. "Take as much time as you need, okay?" She gently squeezed Jane's shoulder and turned around. And with that, Maura got into her car and drove off.

Jane could only control her tear ducts for so long before she let the sobs rack her body.

"Maybe the problem between me and Pop is that we're both the same." Jane said to herself, she down and played with the hem of her shirt. "We both run when things get hard."

Jane decided that the person she was before didn't exist anymore. The person she was before her father left, before she figured out who she was. Before Maura. And the person she was becoming? She didn't exist yet. So here she was, stuck in limbo, waiting, watching.

Maybe that's just what life was. The constant limbo between pain and healing.

* * *

Jane had stayed at the observatory for hours, crying and not crying and then crying again. She cried until her hurt was beyond what tears could express.

And then she did what she thought she knew best.

She ran.

Well, she drove. But she drove and then ran to the window she knew belonged to Maura's room. She gazed at some stones that were laid at her feet.

_Well, there__'__s a first for everything._

_**Knowing you, you**__**'**__**ll probably shatter a window.**_

Jane ignored the inner monologue and pulled into the driveway of the house that is more home than her own. Picking up a pebble, she began playing with it in her hand—contemplating—before throwing it at the window. When she got no response she threw another, and another, and another-

The window opened on the last one and Maura looked frantically outside.

"Jane?" She whispered forcefully and squinted through the dark.

"Come outside!" Maura huffed and closed the window. Jane waited patiently for a few moments before the front door to Maura's house opened.

"Wanna go for a walk?" Maura shrugged and headed down the pathway with Jane trailing slightly behind her.

They walked a short distance to the park that was near Maura's house. Jane reached for her hand and held it like it was her lifeline. They sat down on a playscape and looked up at the sky. They often found themselves like this. Under the vast sky, under too little stars because slight pollution washed the rest of them out of existence. They were under the world like it belonged to them. It didn't.

When would the world start feeling like it belonged to them?

They sat there like that for a long time. Neither girl spoke up. Jane felt small and inadequate and she was in pain. Her mouth was dry and her glasses were slipping down her face. She felt small.

She decided she wanted to stop feeling that way.

"Kiss me." Jane said.

"No," She said.

"Kiss me…please?" Jane tried again.

"No," She said again before her lips curved upwards. She noticed her smile was a little sad. Maybe everyone was a little sad. Maybe thats just the way it was. "You kiss me."

That was all Jane needed, she surged forward and captured Maura's lips between her own. Soft and warm as always, and Jane knew there was nowhere else in the world she'd rather be. She kissed her and kissed her and kissed her. And Maura continued to kiss her back.

Jane pressed one last peck against Maura's lips and rested her head on her shoulder.

"I'm so sorry." Jane worked to keep the tears at bay. Maura wrapped a hand around Jane's neck reassuringly. "Christ, Maur. I'm so fucking sorry."

"It's okay." Maura kept her hand on the back of Jane's neck and played with the hair there. "It's okay. You needed time. I'll always give that to you. I know you'll always come back."

"Always." She sniffed and gave Maura a watery smile.

"You're going about it wrong you know," Maura took Jane's hand in hers and held it like it would break. "You're fighting this battle in the wrong way, my love."

It's a terrible thing, to fight a battle by yourself. But maybe that's just the way life has to be.

"I can't fight it. I don't know how."

"You could ask for help. You _should_ ask for help." She said.

"I don't know how to do that either."


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N: **Alright lovelies, I've decided to split this fic up into parts. Chapters 1-20 will be known as PART ONE. And starting on chapter 21 will be PART TWO. I'm working on part two now and I'm super excited to share it with you guys. It'll have a bit of a different feel that I think you will enjoy. It will take place during the summer.

The song used first is _Her_ by Raury. And, y'all, I highly recommend you listen to it. And also the extended version of Bella's Lullaby by Carter Burwell, which is also a beautiful piece that I recommend y'all listen to.

On to the story.

* * *

"I literally cannot do this anymore." Jane groans as she slammed her book closed. The boys had given up long ago and opted to take a nap instead.

"You're so dramatic," Maura says giving Jane a goofy grin. She pokes the dimple in Jane's cheek who huffs loudly and squirms away.

"Fine, leave me alone to die."

Maura laughs again and it's so bright and beautiful that Jane can't help but to laugh with her.

"We're almost done," Maura offers, looking back down at the text she was studying, "After midterms it's spring break then we're in the clear for summer, we'll be able to relax. Go back to the cabin, perhaps."

Jane sighs contently at Maura's words and rolls over to nuzzle her face in the crook of her neck. She uses her arm to drape across Maura's torso and bring herself closer.

"I don't wanna study, Maur. I wanna take a nap." Maura could practically feel Jane pouting. She laughed lightly and ran her fingers through the curls of Jane's hair. Maura had no idea how she wound up with the small group. Jane, Frost and Korsak were all children in teenager's bodies.

She wouldn't have it any other way.

"We can take a break if you sing me something." Jane peeked her eyes out with a small smile playing on her face, rolling her twinkling eyes at Maura's ultimatum.

"What do you want me to sing?"

Maura shrugged and Jane took a moment to think about what she wanted to sing for her.

"I got it." She closed her eyes and took in a few deep breaths, attempting to control her breath so she doesn't wake the boys from their slumber.

_Little lady of mine_

_All she wants is to see the sky_

_She doesn't know she's in love_

_With a cloud that's way too high_

_I'm coming home, home to her_

_She eludes like bluest birds_

_She's haunting me, mocking me_

_Leading me nowhere at all_

_I'll follow her_

_And I'll die for her_

Jane's voice fills the room. The way it falls sleepily from her mouth, so haunting and beautiful makes Maura's heart skip a beat and a breath catch in her throat. And she freezes because—yeah—she's in love and it's wonderful and beautiful and everything she could have ever hoped for and more. She doesn't exactly know when she started having feelings for Jane. But Maura thinks, maybe in this moment is when she's been the most in love with her. When she's singing and smiling and messing up a little because she's looking at her with absolute adoration in her eyes and love swelling and overflowing out of her heart.

Jane lets the melody fall slowly and easily out of her mouth.

_When I am blue, she is too_

_It's the only shade we know_

_Our hearts the same, so we share_

_Everything from joy to pain_

_This summer day quickly changes_

_To Autumn and I fall all over her_

_Into her, I have no control at all_

Jane doesn't stop when the lyrics do, she opens her eyes as she continues humming the sleepy tune. She lays on Maura's chest, who can feel the tune fall out of Jane's closed lips and buzz right into her like the blood running through her veins.

Jane would be content to lay like that forever, in Maura's arms.

"What does love feel like to you, Jane?" Maura asks quietly, careful not to break the reverie.

Jane wants to say that it's hazel eyes and quiet laughs and being in the arms of a beautiful girl. She wants to say that it's laying under the stars and trips to the observatory and playing songs on the piano that sound like falling in love. It's blueberry pancakes and singing in kitchens without a care in the world and meeting parents. It's snowball fights and watching musicals and having someone to run to when things get hard.

"It feels like you," she says instead, "It feels a lot like being with you."

* * *

Jane was starting to work harder on addition pieces to send into Berklee. What she played had to not only show her piano abilities, but who she was as a person. The review board had to be able to know who she was through what she played.

She could play Fur Elise, or Symphony Number 5 or Moonlight Sonata for any of the classical pieces she had to also submit, but those didn't feel like her. They felt technical when she played them, rehearsed. What she played had to be perfect, but she had to feel something. She had to also submit a piece that her heart was in.

It had to be a story of pain, loss, beauty, love.

It had to be about being found.

So she played Bella's Lullaby by Carter Burwell.

Well?" She started, "How did that sound?"

"Hmm, I dunno," Frankie tested, his eyes crinkling as his smile turned upwards, obviously just wanting to hear her play again. "I'd have to hear it again." Jane rolled her eyes and rest her hands back on the keys to play the song again for her brother.

When Jane played, it transported everyone around her into the world she was in. Fingers gracefully telling a story with the upmost care. Treating each bar as characters that interact with each other. Stories of lives that exist only within the confines of a page and can only come to life one someone plays them.

Sometimes people can hear a song and be filled with an unexplainable nostalgia, nostalgia for a place you've never been and a future you have yet to have. The type of music that shatters the world, and seemingly cannot be put back together until every living person on the planet hears that song.

Jane's fingers danced expertly on the keys, closing her eyes and getting lost in between soft melodies and quiet sounds. The sounds of her keyboard filled the room with more than just music, as with any time Jane plays, the room got filled with love.

"Well?" she asked exasperatedly, "How did _that_ one sound?"

He paused for only a moment this time, no jest in his voice.

"Hopeful."

Jane's words got caught in her throat as she looked back down at the keyboard.

"What are you hoping for, Janie?"

She shrugged slightly and played out a few keys subconsciously.

"Well, whatever it is, it'll come to you if it hasn't already." Jane scoffed and smiled up at Frankie.

"Aren't I supposed to be the older and wiser one?"

"Musta skipped you." He joked and placed a kiss on the top of the top of her head before he turned around to leave.

Jane sighed and stood up from the piano stool.

There were so many things that she wanted. She wanted her Pop back, she wanted Tommy back. But she also couldn't stop feeling as though she had so much as well. She has her Ma, Frankie, her friends, her girlfriend.

And she was happy. So, so happy.

Jane decided that could be enough, surrounded by the people that she does have. The people that want to be around her.

It _should_ be enough.

Jane pulled out her phone and pulled up a new text message.

_**Remember that car accident that you got into a few months back?**_

The response was immediate.

**Maura:**_** Thanks for reminding me. But yes, I do remember. Why?**_

**Jane:**_** I love u, is all. I don't think I tell u enough**_

**Maura: **_**I love you too. Always 3**_

**Jane:**_** To the stars and back?**_

**Maura:**_** To the stars and back.**_

* * *

The days were starting to get warmer as February passed on, much warmer than usual. Which prompted the girls to take a walk to the park to do their studying there instead of cooped up inside of the house. _Thank god for global warming,_ Jane thought. Shitty for everyone down the road but right now it felt like she was just being rewarded.

Because the bird's songs were coming alive and so were they.

Jane took Maura's hand in hers, holding it so gently as though keeping it from breaking. She traced the reflection of love that she sees in Maura's eyes onto her palm. Feeling a perfect kind of calm inside with hope threatening to make its way out of her belly and take form of a gentle smile onto her face.

"Jane, what is it?"

Jane gave a lazy grin and turned her head down towards the pavement while she scuffed her feet along, carful to push her glasses up before they clattered onto the ground.

Jane realized she would never find a girl quite like Maura. She could scour the Earth and search for years and never find someone who's just so, well, _her._

Not that she'd want to anyway.

"Nothin', baby."

They continued walking and took quick glances towards each other, taking the other in and smiling. Saying absolutely nothing at all.

But it was the kind of nothing that meant everything.

The days were melting together as spring break came closer. Designated study times became shorter as they finished each midterm and the classes were more laid back since not all midterms were on the same day.

After a few more minutes passed they made it to the park, choosing to sit on the swings as they took out papers and books to study.

"Do you think our teachers know they're frying our brains?" Jane huffed and she turned the page of her biology textbook.

Maura rolled her eyes and her girlfriend's famous dramatics as she studied her own biology textbook.

"I think the word you're looking for is teaching." This caused Jane to furrow her brows and shake her head.

"Nah, I meant frying." Jane concluded as she placed her book down and pushed her feet off the ground to set the swing in motion. She tilted her head back and pretended she was flying. "What if we could fly, Maur? Where would you go, right in this moment?"

Maura didn't hesitate. "I would go to Scotland."

"Why there?"

"It's so green there, it seems to run on forever." She pauses and gives an easy smile towards the sky. "I could go there and get lost in time." She said wistfully. Jane hummed and nodded.

That seemed like a beautiful thought, to go somewhere where you could get lost and never have to come back. Time on your side.

Isn't getting lost the best part of losing it all anyway?

"I'd go there too then." Jane decided, nodding slightly to herself. "We could get lost in time together."

She's glad she asked because when she looks over Maura's eyes are closed and there's a smile on her face and for once during the stressful testing period she looks at peace and without a care in the world.

Jane looks up at the sky and sighs, and she wonders if that's what she's looking for. Jane closes her eyes and imagines that she's with Maura in the wide green fields of Scotland and decides that—yeah—maybe that's what she's looking for.

"Are you okay?" Jane asks, her voice so quiet it is almost carried away by the wind.

Maura looks up at her with furrowed brows.

"Yeah, why?"

"I just wanted to check in, you know?" Jane says and wrings her hands. "I feel like it's always about my problems. I just wanted to check in, make sure you're doing alright."

Maura smiled and stood up, holding her hand out to Jane who instinctively took it. she walked them over to sit on the base of a jungle gym and brush the curls out of Jane's eyes.

"I'm fine," she reassures her, "And we're in this together. All in, my love. Whatever you need, I'll give it to you. Don't ever feel like you're dumping too much on me. I'm doing fine, and I'll be sure to tell you if at any moment I am not."

"Okay," Jane nods, satisfied with her answer, "Yeah okay. I'm sorry it's just, I want you to be okay." Maura nodded and smiled gratefully, placing a soft kiss on Jane's lips. Jane misses her immediately when she pulls away.

"I love you to the stars and back, Jane Rizzoli."

"To the stars and back."

* * *

**A/N:** Maybe "to the stars and back" will be our "always".


	19. Chapter 19

A/N: If you catch the slight Hamilton reference(s) I'll give you a cookie.

* * *

Jane's Father kept trying to reconcile with her. His idea of reconciliation anyway. As if they could just continue and pretend nothing happened. But Jane didn't want someone to be in her life that purposefully chooses to ignore an entire part of who she is, even if that person was her Father. She couldn't just sit back and let herself forgive him when he wasn't even taking the steps to really repair their relationship, to accept her.

So she wouldn't accept him.

They had family dinners twice a week, they would eat, talk, and he would leave again with her youngest brother. And like that, their short time imagining being a family that wasn't broken was gone.

The only reason Jane put up with her Father now is because of Frankie, Tommy, and her Mom. They were _trying. Harder than I am_, Jane thought. They were trying to forgive him. Frankie was getting there, smiling tightly and at least answering when he talked to him. Her mom seems quiet, mostly conversing with the children. It seems as though Tommy already has forgiven him, but Jane couldn't fault him for that. Not even when he would shoot her dirty looks across the table for ignoring their Father when he spoke at her, or when he would hug Frankie and their Ma before leaving again, and turning away before Jane even got to say goodbye.

No, she couldn't fault him for that. But she could fault her Father for leaving, she can fault him for turning his back on her when she needed the most. For looking at her like he was seeing an entirely different kid than the one he raised.

And she could blame herself, for not being able to forgive him quite yet, for not stopping Tommy from leaving, she could blame herself for the way her mom's smile didn't quite reach her eyes anymore.

Those are the things she could blame herself for.

_Maybe I didn't tear the family apart, but I sure am doing a good job of making it stay that way._

_**You are not at fault.**_

_How could I not be? I'm letting this happen. I could end it. I could forgive him and this could be over._

_**You are not under any obligation to forgive someone that has hurt you.**_

Jane knew that, of course. But wasn't it selfish to let her family break and shatter right before her eyes because she refused to forgive the man that raised her? The man that loved her?

The man that left her.

Jane walked up the stairs to her room and closed the door quietly before turning and taking a seat before her piano. She closed her eyes before opening them back up and and playing whatever came to mind, and then writing down what she wrote.

She went on like this for hours.

Even when her hands were aching and cramping, and when she was sure she had no more left to give before another bar poured out from her fingers.

Jane couldn't stop.

She had to write. If she didn't write, she would surely lose herself.

All of the notes would take refuge in her mind and they would swirl around in her head until they drowned out every other thought. There were entire worlds that lived inside her, all apart of her very being. The music demanded to be wrote, it demanded to be heard. Even if she was the only one hearing it, feeling it, being consumed by it.

It demanded to be felt.

Whatever was building up inside of her had to be let out, in the most carnal and cathartic way she knew how, through music.

So she couldn't stop, she wouldn't.

She went on like this until someone came up behind her and gently set their hand on hers, stopping her from playing.

"You're not running out of time," Angela said softly as she took a place next to Jane on the stool, "Why are you playing like you're running out of time?"

"I have to get this out, Ma." She sighed, not bothering to look up from the paper, "I _am _running out of time. If I don't write…" She trailed off and shook her head in frustration. "You wouldn't get it. No one does."

"Okay," Angela placated, "Okay but just, please, try something else? The writing and playing can wait, Janie. Your hands need a break, you need a break. How about I make you something?"

She shook her head. "I can't."

"You _can._"

Jane is shaking her head violently, wondering why her mother doesn't get it, why no one seems to get it. Why no one seems to get that creating a world with walls built with notes and wind that whistles in crescendos and decrescendos is a way for her to escape. Why couldn't her mother see that?

Why couldn't anyone see she was a ticking time bomb.

"Well what would you have me do?!" Jane stood up abruptly and turned to face her mother, tears spilling from her eyes. "If I'm not writing, if I'm not playing, what am I to do? It's the only thing that allows me to feel so…_alive_, Ma. That and…" She trailed off, looking to her hands and wringing them together.

That and _Maura_.

"_I can't."_

"Take a moment, Jane. A moment." She offered, rubbing Jane comfortingly on the back before standing up from the bench. "That would be be enough."

* * *

Jane eventually left the piano and headed outside, it was getting late and the sun was setting, the sunset spilling over the horizon in pinks and oranges. She yelled to her Ma to tell her where she was going, and then pulling out her phone to reply to messages from the boys and to tell Maura what was happening.

The air was warm but there was a slight breeze that caused her to zip her jacket up a little higher and stick her hands in her pockets. She eventually came to her usual spot, somehow always ending up back there.

Jane is sitting in the park where she and Maura have gone so many times, sitting and talking and laughing. Her fingers hurt, where she used them to press against piano keys in an effort to take a little bit of the pain away. They're stinging and burned with the memory that she's bruised underneath and all she wants is for all of it to go away. Jane is so certain she could smash herself open and her blood would bleed the color of Maura's eyes all over the grass, nursing the earth and healing where it's dry and dead from winter.

How lovely it would be to die every winter only to know you would come back alive in the spring.

She lays back on the grass and breathes in the air. It smells funny. Earthy because it had rained earlier. Her pants are getting wet and she'll have to wash her hair because she'll smell like outside and mud, but right now? It feels like the air and the leftover rain falling from the leaves of the tree above her are seeping into her bloodstream, cracking her bones open and healing her.

Jane hears the the footsteps approaching her. She knows who it is of course, footsteps that she's memorized and sighs when she feels the person sit down beside her. She knew the no matter where she was, what time of day or what state she was in, Maura would be right there next to her. A constant, an unwavering rock in her life. She couldn't be more grateful.

Jane opens her eyes and Maura is gazing across the field, not looking in Jane's direction, gently sighing.

"When are you going to stop running?" She asks quietly.

Jane wants to answer her, she really fucking does. But right now the wind is blowing her hair and her chest is rising and falling gently and she tries to breath in the rhythm she is. Maybe Maura is letting the wind carry away all of her troubles, lifting away in a gentle breeze that'll get carried up into the sky. It makes Jane feel renewed in a way she feels she could never describe because suddenly she's the wind and Maura is breathing her in and exhaling her in an attempt to keep everything and everyone around them alive.

Jane shrugs.

"That's not an answer."

"I don't have one."

She sighs, "Jane."

"No really, I don't." Jane stresses. "I don't have a damn clue why I keep running. Maybe it's the only fucking thing I know how to do."

Maura lies down beside her and asks, "What number are you at right now?"

"Huh?"

"On a scale of one to ten in terms of your mood, what number are you at? Ten being the worst."

Jane thinks it over and does a mental assessment. "A seven."

Maura nods her head and takes Jane's hand in hers. "Breathe, and once you're at a five tell me."

Jane closes her eyes and focuses on all of the sounds around her. She hears Maura's quiet breathing, and notices she's still breathing in time with her. She hears the wind rustling stray papers and bags around, and dogs barking in the distance. She hears a few crickets chirping, a sign that they're finally in the clear for spring. She hears kids laughing, maybe they were playing with the dogs she heard.

"Five." She whispers.

Maura turns and looks at her and smiles reassuringly, tears in her eyes that makes them more green than ever. "You amaze me, Jane Rizzoli." She says, almost out no where. "You are absolutely…_devastating, _and strong_. _In everything you do. The way you talk about things you love, whether it's superheroes or composers. The way your eyes light up when something excites you. And, _God, _when you sing," Maura looks at her wistfully, her eyes watery as she gives Jane a grin that makes her lose the air in her lungs. "When you sing, and especially when you play the piano. You play the piano in a way that makes me stop breathing."

And Jane wonders how could Maura possibly be breathless when everything around her seems to be alive just because she's near. Jane often worried who was going to save the world, who would be the superhero in the comics she reads?

Maura squeezes her hand.

Jane looks at her and realizes Maura may be the future, and she needs this world much more than she does.

"I don't mean to run." Jane says taking her glasses off and rubbing her eyes with the hand Maura isn't holding. "I really don't but it's just, everything becomes too much sometimes. And I see people around me doing fine and I just wonder how no one seems to quite _get it_. Why does Frankie seem okay and I'm not, why is my Ma powering through this like a champ but I'm breaking down inside?" Jane wipes violently at her tears. "I'm at a seven again, higher maybe."

"Breathe." She supplies gently. "Everyone handles grief differently. Don't compare yourself to the people around you. You are unique, and everything you are feeling is valid."

"How do you do that?" Maura hums in confusion and Jane elaborates. "How do you know how to calm me?"

"I love you." She answers simply. "I love you, and our love is enough, it will always be enough." Maura breathes in deeply, "But Jane, let me in. Let me help you. Please, decide to stay. Decide to stop running." Maura places her hand on Jane's cheek and leans in to kiss away a stray tear. "We could be enough."

Maura says it with such conviction and love that it hurts Jane's chest. Not in a bad way, but in a way that reminds her that she's _here _and that she's with Jane, as long as she'll have her. Maura sat there and carved her name into Jane's heart. Even once it's faded and healed—she'll always be there. And that is enough.


	20. Chapter 20

A/N: School is OVER! Well it has been for me for almost two weeks..but I've started a new job and things. So I'm so sorry that this is so late. You guys will probably get more frequent updates.

Also the song is Hero by family of the year. I first heard it on that movie boyhood.

Also I may or may not be drunk while writing and posting this. So I'm so sorry for any errors and let me know if you catch any so I can fix them.

Enjoy, y'all!

* * *

Jane looks up at the the sky and watches as the stars dance in the dark blue sky, the trees are swaying in the warm breeze the beginning of June has to offer. _The world doesn__'__t have the right to be so beautiful when I__'__m hurting this much_, she thinks. Her eyes sting and her fists curl up so tightly her knuckles turn white.

The feeling doesn't last for long, her friends are laughing and Jane can't help but to smile at the sound of their voices, filling the air with life and filling her with life, too.

They're sitting in the backyard of Maura's house in front of a bonfire passing around a bottle of clear liquid. It was approaching midnight and everything was hazy and the evening was still warm, the sound of crickets and the fire crackling filling the night air. Their laughter cuts through, eyes bloodshot but they're happy and free. Right now they're kids without the weight of the world on their shoulders, looking at the stars and relishing in the fact that they don't mean anything to anyone in this moment.

Jane's sitting against a tree with an easy smile on her face, her baggy t-shirt billowing in the breeze. She's tying her hair up into a loose bun since her unruly curls kept falling into her face thanks to the wind. When she finishes she picks up the bottle that she placed down next to her and takes a long sip of the vodka before passing it off to Frost, who takes it gratefully.

"Hit us with a little fact, Maur." Frost asks after taking a hefty shot before setting it down on the grass, a slothful grin plastered on his face.

Maura lifted her head from Jane's slowly rising chest, careful not to make any drastic movements, her head swimming after taking her fair share of shots.

"The stars that you see now may not actually still exist." she slurs before laying back down carefully on her girlfriend's chest, who is close to passing out. Frost is looking at Maura like he doesn't believe what she's saying.

Korsak looks between Maura and the sky while his mouth formed an 'O' in wonder, "Trippy." Frost nodded in agreement, glaring intensely at the sky. Korsak snorts and punches his friend slightly on the arm. "What man, you gonna square up with the stars?"

"I don't trust 'em," continuing to glare at them like they had personally wronged him, "how can they be gone but still here?"

Good question.

Jane's deep and raspy laugh fills the warm air. "Takes a while for light to travel, buddy." she chuckles, voice even huskier than usual due to the alcohol coursing through her body and sleep close to taking her. Maura hums in agreement before turning her face to snuggle into Jane's body, who instinctively brings her hands to her hair and rakes through it gently. They're both close to drifting off before Korsak's voice cuts through the silence.

"I love you guys." he whispers out of the blue, eyes closed and smiling gently.

"We're gonna be together for a long time," Frost adds barely able to keep his eyes open, "friends forever, yeah?"

Jane flinches inwardly at "forever" and ignores the ache that is threatening to take over her chest. "Yeah, forever." She looks at their small group and their eyes are lidded and heavy but filled with life—hope. This all is unsurprising to Jane, because she knows they'll all go on to do things that'll make a difference in this world so she can't help but have hope because she feels it every time she looks at them. She however, has yet to realize that she's so much stronger, brighter, and luminous than the darkness that threatens to consume her daily, and that the world needs her as much as it needs her friends. "I love you all to death." Korsak and Frost begin teasing her and she rolls her eyes. "Oh hush, it's just the vodka talking you dorks."

Korsak snorts and takes a sip from the bottle he snagged from Frost's hands. "You're the ringleader dork. And all it does is make you say what you're already feeling."

"Yeah well," Frost shrugs, "You may not tell us all the time, especially when you're sober, but we know you love us." He smiles at her warmly.

Jane closes her eyes and breathes in the smoke coming from the fire, which is mixing in with Maura's perfume. She wonders why even when she's happiest, she somehow always seems to feel a little down. She wonders if a group is as strong as their weakest link, how must the rest of them are holding up, because how can she not be the weakest when they're consistently holding her up? She wonders about how everything is fickle and fleeting, maybe their friendship would be, too. People are clouds, storms, waves. They come and go, much like her father. So who's to say they wouldn't leave also? She could look at her friends one day and the next they could slip right through her fingertips.

But right now?

Right now they're _here, _and that's enough_. _

The world is still spinning when Jane looks off towards the strewn about bottles, she's drunk and as content as she feels she's able to get. Her existence is mixing in with theirs, alive and pulsing and real. The smoke from the fire circling around them before drifting off into the sky, an offering to whoever is watching over them. The echoes of their laughter from earlier floating up along with it.

Jane hopes whoever the offering is going to is enjoying how they're all feeling in this moment—free.

(As free as she could feel, anyway).

She hopes they'll be able to feel the love she feels in her heart for them everyday.

_Love_.

Jane tastes the word on her mouth, she smiles faintly because it's sweet and bitter at the same time. She's looking at the world through bloodshot eyes and hazy summer nights, learning and feeling her way through it all, fumbling along the way. Love is beginning to feel like less and less of a burden the more she allows herself to accept and feel it.

It started with Maura, naturally. Maura, who has the most beautiful earthy green eyes and loves all of the colors in the world equally because who could choose between the warm colors of a sunset and the brisk tones of a sunrise? Maura, who left a feeling in Jane's chest every time she was in her presence, and she couldn't think of a name for it so she named it after her. Maura, the new girl from France who has the softest laugh and a smile that would make someone go to the ends of the earth just to make sure it stays in place. It's so goddamn _beautiful_ and Jane fell so _hopelessly _in love with her that she couldn't help but want to let herself feel it, let it rock her to her core and soak up into her bloodstream like caffeine.

It continued with Frost and Korsak, her two longest friends who gave Jane all the love in the world and didn't mind that she didn't know how to reciprocate. These two boys that filled the void in the world with their laughter and souls so pure they watered the earth and gave the world life and beauty. These boys that loved superheroes but didn't know that they saved Jane every single day, wearing no armor but their hearts that they leave bravely on their sleeves. These boys who could fall in love with a dog, the sound of rain, complete strangers, and with nothing at all because they had so much of it to give. Their love covered Jane in warmth without touching her, easing her soul and relaxing her heart.

_Love_.

"Yeah, you're right." she mumbles after awhile, kissing Maura's hair. "I love you all now and I'll love you still in the morning, sober or not." The words had fallen silent upon the sleeping boys' ears, but Maura smiles softly in acknowledgment.

"Do you ever think about the end of the world?" Maura mutters softly, her bleary eyes turning towards the clear night sky.

"Why?"

"Barry said we would be friends forever," Maura pauses and Jane swore she saw the universe reflected in her green irises that are searching for explanations in stars that will never answer her. "What if forever never comes?"

Jane ponders for a moment, intertwining her fingers with Maura's.

"The world has ended many times for me," Jane began, the look of disgust her father gave her before ultimately leaving his family behind always fresh on her mind. She swallows hard before continuing. "It has ended many times, but began again in the morning."

* * *

Jane rouses from her sleep unwillingly, the birds easing her from her slumber with their songs and the boys chuckling at whatever they found funny in that moment. When she looks over Maura is giving her an easy smile. Jane pauses, committing the image to memory before the warm grin blows away with the summer breeze.

"What?" she smiles, bringing her hands over her hand to stretch the sleep out of her body.

Maura is looking at Jane with glazed bloodshot eyes, no doubt not fully recovered from the previous night's activities. Her hair is tied up but little strands escape and dance in front of her face and Jane wonders if she knows she has the ability to take even the Earth's breath away.

"Nothing," she supplies easily, intertwining her fingers with Jane's right hand. "you're beautiful, is all."

The simple words are enough to make Jane's heart flutter along with the wings of the birds waltzing above her, free and unrestrained.

Jane thinks about how easy it is to breath when Maura is right there supplying her own life force, pulsing in and out of her lungs and into her bloodstream like the only source of life she's ever known. Sometimes she thinks about the fingerprints Maura's left on her soul purple like a fresh bruise with no sign of yellowing any time soon, as if there's no wound there to begin with.

"Shut up," Jane mutters abashedly, running her free hand through her hair and then pushing up her glasses. "You're just saying that."

Maura stands up and turns towards the taller girl, completely forgetting the boys who are in the distance doing god know's what. "Let's go." Maura states simply before running away from Jane, leaving dust in her wake that makes her cough. She pauses for a moment in surprise before clumsily getting off of the ground and running towards the girl.

Maura looks back at her with a a slight grin, unable to let it fall fully onto her face because she's too busy focusing on her breathing. She has a look on her face that taunts, "_You'll never reach me_," and Jane's heart falls for a moment because doesn't think she ever will.

* * *

Jane is sitting on a hill trying to catch her breath and Maura is twirling in circles around her in triumph.

"So you're just going to sit and quit?" Maura taunts jokingly, smiling at her girlfriend with a look that can only read humor and adoration.

Jane used to think that summer is when everything was supposed come easy. There are no classes, and the leaves are growing back on the trees like they never left.

So wasn't it fair to assume she would grow back once summer came as well?

But now Jane isn't as confident, because she could barely reach her hand out to Maura keep up with her. The hot summer air that she fails to keep up with is just as hard as the brutally cold winter gusts that left her alone.

"Hey Jane?" Maura asks suddenly, her green eyes reminding her of everything that gives the earth life, "What's your favorite lyric?"

Jane falters, "why?"

Maura shrugs and looks off towards the city that they ran away from, "Just wondering I guess."

"Okay well, I-uh," Jane rubs the back of her neck before taking a deep breath, remembering that this is the girl that she feels more safe in than her own mother's arms, "It goes like-_Let me go, I don't wanna be your hero, I don't wanna be a big man, just wanna fight with everyone else. Your masquerade, I don'__t__ wanna be a part of your parade. Everyone deserves a chance to walk with everyone else."_

Maura hums quietly and Jane looks off so she doesn't have to look her in the eyes. "Any reason why you chose that?"

Jane doesn't feel much like answering. Feeling the role she had to put on for her father heavy on her heart. She's given him enough of her time for now, and for a lifetime. "No reason," she starts, sighing in resignation, "just the first thing to come to mind."

Maura comes over to Jane and wraps her arms around her neck, pressing her front flush up against her back. She's breathing gently in Jane's ear, doing nothing but holding her before placing a small kiss and the corner of her mouth causing Jane to instinctively smile.

In that moment, Jane knows that this world breaks everyone's heart, sometimes without hope of repair. And she thinks, if anyone had to break her heart beyond repair, she can't imagine it being anyone but this girl she's fallen helplessly in love with.


End file.
